Solacium
by JuubiOokami
Summary: When Arthur is ordered to visit a friend of Uther, Merlin is distraught to be told he is to stay in Camelot. With Arthur behaving strangely, Merlin is worried, but how can he uncover the horrific truth when Arthur is so hell bent on being stubborn? Tplus
1. The Relief of Rain

**Alright, so this is my first ****Merlin**** fanfic. I started watching the series a couple of weeks ago and am in the middle of season two. I don't think there will be any particular spoilers in the story, but perhaps references – I can't be sure yet. **

**Anyway, this is going to be an Arthur/Merlin, Merlin/Arthur fic later on, but I guarantee you a story line to go with that, and I will do my utmost to make sure that everyone stays in character. **

**So, a warning before I start, the rating is 'T' at the moment, but it may go up, depending how much detail I put in. This fic will deal with mature issues, such as violence, sexual harassment, and homosexual sex. If that disturbs any of you, I suggest you don't read. You've been warned. **

**So, on that note I will stop waffling and get on with the important things.**

**Disclaimer – The BBC own the TV series Merlin, I'm just using the characters for story telling purposes. **

**Enjoy!**

-

Merlin threw the door closed after him, his throat burning with an angry shout that was just itching to be released as he paced into the room, seeking comfort. Gwen looked up to him with a half smile, folding the last shirt from the laundry and putting it at the top of a neat pile. "Prince Arthur again?"

"That Royal Prat!" Merlin burst, "It's like he's forgotten I'm human! 'Muck out the horses Merlin, shine my armour Merlin, sharpen my sword, repair my doublet, clean my clothes' – the list doesn't end. It's like he's practising a new battle formation – 'work your enemies to death'!"

Gwen let out a laugh, and Merlin felt himself relax somewhat, leaning back against the wall of the chamber and folding his arms with a huff. She smoothed her palms over the pile of clothes before approaching him, placing each hand on his shoulder soothingly.

"How much more have you got to do?"

"I've cleaned out the horses and done his sword, and the clothes are being cleaned, but I've got to fix that damn doublet and that armour…" Merlin groaned at the thought and Gwen laughed again, making him smile.

"Would you like some help? I could offer a hand if need be."

"No." He shook his head, face softening. "No, you've got enough to do…Besides, I feel better now for venting my anger."

"You care for him really."

"No I do not." Merlin smiled despite his words and then shook his head. "Well, I'd better go, those chores won't do themselves."

"That's the spirit." She clapped him on the shoulder and turned away, "I'll come by later to Gaius's – the Lady Morgana is in need of another sleeping draught."

Merlin sighed sympathetically, "The nightmares again?"

"She wakes screaming more and more often." A flash of anxiety hinted in Gwen's eyes for a moment before she composed herself. "Well, I'm sure it will pass. Gaius has the best sleeping draughts in the whole of Camelot after all."

Merlin was silent for a moment and then nodded his head. He turned to leave before pausing, "What are the dreams about?" He asked, trying to make his voice sound light hearted.

"She says that they are vague, but terrifying."

"No specifics? She doesn't see anyone in particular?"

Gwen's mouth drew into a thin line, her frown crumpling in thought. "She says she feels like she is drowning, she can hardly breath, her whole body is heavy, and she's freezing cold…but she says that there is no water involved."

"A dream about being a hostage perhaps? The fear of no escape?" Merlin suggested, his mind already flashing with possibilities of what the dream could mean, most specifically for Arthur.

"No." Gwen shook her head, "She says that at the same time as feeling this she feels very angry, head strong and proud, but that she is being crushed by these things…" Gwen paused, "What the Lady Morgana dreams of…I think…I think it is helplessness."

"Helplessness?"

"Yes. Having strength, pride and power, but being unable to do a thing."

Merlin frowned. "That…doesn't sound good." He muttered, trying to figure out how this could happen. Perhaps the dream was concerning Morgana's current state, rather then something that would happen to Arthur – after all, the idea of Arthur being helpless, well…Well it was just ridiculous.

-

Arthur's fingers tightened into a fist as he glanced out of his window, his blue eyes following the clumsy figure of his manservant. He gave out a sigh and lent the top of his face against the window frame, rocking his head from side to side so that ever inch of his forehead met against the cold glass.

There was the click of a door from behind him, and then a cool, accented voice spoke. "You're father has summoned you, you know?"

He didn't turn, fingering his chin thoughtfully as he continued to gaze out into the palace courtyard. "I know Morgana." There was beat, and then he turned, looking to her. "You look tired." He noted and she inclined her head slightly, casting her eyes away in prideful shame, her mouth set into stubborn, but unchild-like pout.

"I haven't been sleeping too well." She admitted to him and he paused, and then gave a nod, feeling too drained to make any sort of jibe at her. He could sense her repressed unease and felt that pushing her temper wouldn't be wise.

"Nightmares again?"

"Yes." She paused, "Every night for the past week…It's a wonder that Gwen is coping, I wake screaming and she's always by my side, ready to comfort me without complaint."

"That is a small miracle." He went to his tableside and picked up his sword. "If it were me I would be sick of you."

He felt Morgana stiffen behind him, and closed his eyes, regretting his words almost instantly as she drew in a breath, ready to hiss back a remark. He spoke before she was able to, turning around and catching her hand which was raised, ready to point accusingly to him.

"-Which is why it's a good thing that Guinevere is your servant and not me. You're worrying about nothing Morgana, she's the most loyal caring person in this damn place, and you'll be hard pressed to find anybody who cares more about your well being." She opened her mouth to speak, but he spoke over her again, "And her loyalty to you, I assure you, is well deserved."

Morgana stared to him, shock spreading through her face. "That's…Very kind." She admitted, before frowning and putting a hand to his forehead. "Are you ill?" She asked, and he snorted and battered her hand out of the way.

"What, I can't pay you a compliment?"

"You can, it's just weird." She smiled and he gave her a fleeting one in return before looking back to the window.

"I'd better go, my father won't take kindly to me being too late."

"No, he won't." Morgana sounded stony again, "Though I'm sure he could spare you for a few minutes a day if he really put his mind to it."

"Hm." Arthur grunted, neither in agreement, or denial, before shrugging and clipping his sword into place. "I'll see you later Morgana. If you see Merlin do me a favour and give him a kick up the arse for me."

"What for?" She asked, with a small smile.

"Just because he's a clumsy idiot – and the thought of it will make me smile, where ever I am."

Morgana gave a laugh at hearing this. "You're a bully Arthur Pendragon!"

"Call me what you will." He retorted, striding out of doorway and up the corridors, eyes ahead as he moved, head held high and posture the very example of royal requirement.

He moved quickly, hesitating only a moment before entering his father's chamber with a small knock to the door. He lowered his head in an obedient and honouring bow. "You called for me, my Lord?" He asked in neutral tones. He looked up to Uther who sat, watching for him. On a normal occasion the King might have made some remark on the boy's tardiness, but at this point he was looking very pleased about something, and Arthur was under no pretence that he didn't know why.

"Ah, Arthur, there you are." Uther ushered him forward, "I have just received a letter of invitation for Lord Udovic."

Arthur nodded, face composed as his throat dried, his mouth seeming to fill with an unpleasant taste. Uther continued.

"There is to be a great party held in honour of Lady Udovic's birthday, and they have asked if we may grant them the pleasure of being their honoured guests."

"I see…that is a very kind invitation." Arthur remarked. Udovic was a noble who lived to the east of Camilot. It was said that he had saved Uther in battle more times then could be counted, and that the two held such a strong friendship that, had Arthur not been born, the throne would fall to Udovic's care. Though, that was just a rumour it did highlight the strength of relationship that the two held. "Her birthday is this weekend, is it not?"

"Ah, well remembered my boy." Uther nodded.

"So we shall both be attending." Arthur found comfort in that fact, convincing himself that it would be more bearable at least at his father's side.

"Unfortunately no." Uther's face fell a little, "I have urgent business to attend to this weekend, and as such am unable to attend." He paused, and eyed his son, "You understand what this means, don't you Arthur?"  
And, shamefully, something in Arthur prickled with horror at this news, though it quickly turned to disgust and distaste. "Yes Father, I understand." He said simply.

"The Udovic family are great allies of ours, they are a vital part of a trading industry and they are also old _friends_ of ours." Uther emphasised the word 'friend' carefully, eyes never leaving Arthur's face.

"I know Father."  
"You must go as a representative for me."

Inwardly something sank within Arthur, because he'd been hoping, with all of his might, that he had assumed wrong, and that his father maybe, well…perhaps wanted to declare war on the Udovic family?

"Do you understand?"

"Yes Sire, I do." He responded, straightened even more and nodding his head. He suddenly felt like he was boiling up in that room, a heat flush like he'd been running, burning up through him.

"That is good." Uther regarded his son for a minute, and then dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "Go and prepare yourself, how many servants will you be needing?"

"No servants." Arthur spoke too quickly, before correcting himself. "There will be no need, I'll travel light and fast – they have more than enough."

"Nonsense, you will take servants. You are not going to arrive like some pauper, and that is final."

"I wish to travel light father, there is no need, or room for all of my servants."

"Well, you will at least take the servants directly under you – that pesky manservant for example."

Arthur winced this time, "I…Am not certain-" He began, choosing his words carefully, "That I can teach him the customs of that castle in time for us to go."

"What do you mean, boy?"

"He might cause a bit of trouble for us." Arthur explained, "He's far to used to the easy life he has in Camelot after all."

"Ah…Yes, I see your point." Uther looked a little uneasy himself on the topic, images of Merlin's numerous, but well meant misdeeds, filing through his head. On a normal occasion the King might have suggested that Arthur take up another manservant, but the boys' loyalty to one another was clear to all, and the fact that Merlin had saved Arthur's life several times was not to be forgotten. "Very well, but you will take some – that is an order."

"Yes Father." Arthur bowed his head, turning to leave. "I will begin the preparations immediately."

"Good. Have fun Arthur."

The boy was silent for a moment, and then nodded, "I'm sure I will Sire."

-

Merlin rolled his shoulders, wincing slightly at his sore back, before giving out a satisfied sigh. Done – the armour was always the most difficult job, but with magic things were always just that little bit more easy. Merlin grinned, putting down his book and looking to the well polished armour that assembled itself into a neat pile on his command. He rolled off his bed and put his magic book away under the floor board.

A knock suddenly sounded at his doorway and he turned around to see Gaius standing there. "Arthur is calling for you." The old man explained and Merlin groaned, throwing himself back on his bed in silent tantrum. Gaius laughed. "You'd better go now, he sounded impatient."

"He's always impatient. What does he want me to do now? It's no where near time for dinner."

"Go and find out." The old man suggested and Merlin gave a weak mumble of annoyance, before rolling out of his bed again and striding to the doorway. Despite the fact that he knew it would probably be chores a little something within him burnt with excitement. Spending time with Arthur was fun, it was just the rest of what that entitled which peeved him off.

Getting to the doorway of Gaius's home he was surprised to find that Arthur was already waiting for him, arms crossed and face unreadable. "You took your time."

"I was finishing your armour." Merlin grumbled in response and Arthur shrugged uncaringly as his servant looked him up and down, observing the princes rather disturbingly plain choice in clothing. "Where are you going?"

"Hunting."

Merlin looked around for Arthur's entourage, expecting to see at least a few knights hanging around at the back, waiting for their Prince. When Merlin saw nobody, he raised his eyebrows. "Alone?" He asked and the blonde pulled a face.

"No you dim-witted idiot, you're coming with me." He responded, before turning and striding away. Merlin looked after him blankly for a moment, and then realised that he was actually meant to follow. Diving in he got his cloak from where it was slumped over a chair at Gaius's table, and quickly turned to follow his master.

He fell into step just behind him, struggling to keep up with the man's long strides which were so elegant in comparison to Merlin's clumsy own. "What are we hunting?"

"I don't know Merlin, animals maybe?" The Prince snapped and inwardly Merlin fumed at his attitude. Why did he always have to have such a stick up his arse?

"No monsters this time then, eh?" Merlin attempted to lighten the mood, but the Prince didn't take the bait.

"No Merlin, not unless we find one."

"Maybe you would like your armour then, rather than-"

"-Shut up Merlin." Arthur glared over his shoulder, something smoulderingly furious in his eyes. Merlin glared back, but he couldn't deny that he was surprised – the Prince was in even more of a bad mood than normal.

'_It's times like this that I wonder why I risk all I do for him.'_

Reaching the main gate Arthur breezed past the guards as they gave him funny looks, not caring that he was prancing around dressed as a commoner – well, that said, the clothes may have been simple, but Merlin noted that they were made of good-quality fabric. Arthur couldn't lower himself _that_ much.

Moving out toward the wood, Merlin noted that he didn't have his beater with him, and that Arthur, aside from his sword, was unarmed.

'_What on earth does he expect to catch like that?'_

The sorcerer despaired; he really didn't understand his future King sometimes.

A gust of wind suddenly blew up in Merlin's face and he shivered, looking up the skies with distaste. They were blanketed by a thick layer of clouds and rain was impending, Merlin looked to Arthur, wondering if he was aware of this. The blonde just continued to move, and Merlin shrugged and followed quickly after.

As the pair reached the forest the first dribble of rain began and Merlin pulled his cloak closer around him – hopefully amongst the trees they would be able to find cover.

For a long time they walked in silence, rain dribbling from the leaves, harder and harder until they might as well have been in the open for the all the shelter the canopy was giving them. Yet it was as if Arthur was immune to it, he just continued to walk, not even crouching in his usual hunting fashion, just walking straight ahead. Merlin prickled with unease.

"Arthur." He finally called, "Where are we going?"

"No where." The other responded, sounding surprised, as if he had forgotten that Merlin was with him.

"We're not hunting, that's for sure."

"I haven't seen anything to hunt yet."

"That's because everything there is to hunt has already seen you." Merlin responded sharply and once again Arthur looked surprised for a moment before shrugging and turning back, continuing to walk. Merlin growled, the unease squirming in his stomach, something was out of place, and he really didn't like it at all.

They continued to walk for another good five minutes before finally moving into an opening of the trees set in the middle of the forest. Arthur stopped in the centre quite suddenly and Merlin drew back, watching him carefully.

For a moment the Prince did nothing and then he raised his head to the heavens, looking upward to the stormy clouds. Merlin shifted.

"Arthur, come on." He insisted, "Let's go back, come on, it's raining – you're getting wet."

"…It feels good." The hushed response, and then the Prince threw his head back completely and laughed, wooping a little like a boy at a celebration as he opened his arms out. "Such a relief!" He said, before beginning to spin, continuing to laugh. "Such a damn relief! Why does everyone always complain about the rain? This is wonderful, it's great! I could stay here forever."

"It's cold, come on-"

"-Who gives a toss. This is so good, so good! No one here, no one to see – hah, it's like being able to breath! Wonderful! Everyone's so full of shit, it's like they can't see anything, the blind idiots! And duty, what a harness – but this is great! Nothing to do, no need to maintain my pride – dear God this is wonderful! Just to be cleaned of all of those idiots, just to be gone. Hah, and who said rain was awful?! I'll put my sword through him for not giving me this release sooner." Arthur cried out joyously to the sky, continuing to dance and run about, his hair soaked, clothes drenched and eyes alight with a strange glow. He spun for a long moment and then went silent, hands still reaching out to the sky.

"…Arthur." Merlin whispered in a small voice. Arthur slowly lowered his arms and turned around to look at the figure of his man servant shivering in the wind and rain, waiting. And just for a moment a flicker or horror and shame flashed across his face, and then he was back to normal – back to being the royal Prince Prat.

"Come on." Arthur moved toward him, undoing Merlin's cloak with fingers which were almost blue from the cold.

"No, come on – it's cold, what are you doing?" The black haired boy tried to draw away, but Arthur pulled him back and freed him of his cloak, before throwing his own over the boy's shoulders. It was big, heavy and warm, despite the fact the outer layer was wet. Merlin stared up to the Prince with wide eyes, trying to understand exactly why he had done this.

"What are you doing?" He finally asked again, "You're soaking, you'll freeze. What if you get ill?"

"I wish I would." Was the grumbled, almost inaudible reply as Arthur pulled at his soaking tunic with sudden distaste. He shrugged and threw Merlin's own cloak over his shoulder and turned to leave. "Come, let's go, all of the animals will be taking shelter, there is nothing to hunt."

Merlin stared, mouth agape as the Prince turned, and striding once more, lead the way out of the wood. Oddly they took a different route, and it took at least half the time it had to arrive, which confused and surprised Merlin somewhat as he stared to the back of Arthur's head.

Moving quickly past the guards who, once more, gave them beguiled looks, Arthur lead Merlin back up to Gaius's tower. They were greeted by the old man who stared to them both, quite horrified.

"What on earth!? Did you fall into a river? - You're soaking! Good Lord, come in! Quick, quick by the fire!" He directed them toward the fire place, sitting them both down and freeing them of their wet cloaks. As he did Gaius shot Merlin a confused look, taking up the cloak that Merlin was wearing and sending the obvious question, with his eyes, of why they had swapped clothes. "What happened to you boys?"

"We went hunting." Merlin explained, "And…uh…" The sorcerer trailed off as Arthur caught his eye, daring him to reveal what had just happened. "And…."

"And?"

"You were correct in your assumption." Arthur spoke easily, and clearly. "Because of the rain the ground was unstable, and in the chaise I slipped and fell into a river. Merlin pulled me out."

Gaius raised his eyebrows as Merlin did, both of their mouths dropping at this story. Arthur hastily stood.

"For my prides sake, I ask that you do not repeat today's happenings to anyone, if you please." He eyed Merlin carefully as he said this and the boy bowed his head, unable to meet the Prince's eyes. "Good." He paused, "Come to my chambers when you've warmed up and changed and bring my dinner."

And with that he turned and left, his clothes clinging to his body, cloak forgotten and head held high with a stony determination so similar to Uther's it could have almost been frightening.

After the door closed a long silence followed, and then Gaius turned to Merlin who was still shivering violently from the cold. "Quick, get out of those clothes." The man ordered and Merlin obeyed, stripping down and accepting a large quilt, which he huddled under, moving himself closer to the fire. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." He responded, his teeth still chattering slightly, "Just a bit…wet."

"What on earth were you thinking going hunting in this weather? One of you might have gotten seriously injured."  
"It wasn't exactly my choice." Merlin responded shortly and Gaius's mouth formed into a thin line before he came at sat beside the boy, watching him expectantly. When Merlin continued to stare forward in silence Gaius sighed, and patted a hand against the boy's back.

"Tell me what's going on."

"Nothing."

"Merlin, you're a terrible liar." Gaius warned and the Sorcerer lowered his head into his hands, rubbing his palms into his eye. "Tell me, you know you can."

"I…" He looked up, "I don't know what happened." He admitted.

"Well, whatever happened it certainly wasn't Arthur falling into a river."

"No…Are there any rivers in the forest?" Merlin asked, suddenly side-tracked at that thought.

"If you go down south enough, but that is beside the point. Something has disturbed you my boy, I can see it in your face."

"I'm just cold Gaius." Merlin attempted to assure him.

"Merlin." The older man said back warningly, his eyes ever knowing. Merlin sighed and looked the other way.

"It's Arthur." The boy finally said, "I don't know what happened but…he's acting strange."

"Strange?"

"Yes…We went into the woods to hunt, but we were alone, he didn't even have his weapons and he just wondered around aimlessly. Finally we got to a glade and he kind of…stood under the rain and laughed, even danced – as if he was incredibly relieved. Then he just…stopped and pretended like nothing had happened…like he'd just had an unsuccessful hunt."  
Gaius listened to this story silently, watching Merlin carefully as the boy drew off and looked to his hands, brown furrowed with worry. Finally the old man spoke.

"The Prince has been a great deal of stress lately with his added training duties, it is only natural that he might feel the need to find a release-"

"-No Gaius, you don't understand." Merlin cut across him, "I've never seen him like this, it was as if he possessed. I swear it, he was so…out of character."

Gaius frowned and leant in, his voice turning into a whisper. "Do you think it is sorcery?"

Merlin was silent for a moment and then he shook his head. "No. No, it isn't – I would felt if it were magic, I'm sure…But it was strange Gaius, something is wrong…" He looked up, his eyes catching the light of the fire, "I'm worried."

-

"Ah, there you are." Arthur turned to Merlin as he entered the room, the Prince folded his arms. "I was beginning to think you'd died."

"Uh – no, not this time." Merlin responded.

"Pity." The Prince swept his hand slightly across his table and Merlin gave a half hearted laugh.

"Yes, sadly I was unable to stop my heart beating." He agreed with a sarcastic, but innocent looking smile, accompanied by a shrug, "Just a useless idiot."

"Yes, it's a gift you have."

"It's not the only one." Merlin muttered under his breath, but Arthur caught it and raised his eyebrows.

"You have others?"

"Only the ability to annoy you a lot."

"Yes, well that is quite a talent." Arthur picked up his goblet taking a sip, before pulling the cup away, face suddenly furrowed with a thought as he pointed to the boy. "Did you bring my armour."  
"Uh…No." Merlin admitted, looking about his persons in the hope that he might have forgotten that he was carrying them. "I can go and get them, if you li-"

"-Forget it." Arthur put down his glass and crossed the window, folding his arms. "Bring them tomorrow."

"Ok…" Merlin nodded and looked to the floor, biting his bottom lip and raising his eyebrows for a fraction of a second as he put his hands behind his back and rocked on his feet, clearly unsure of what to do.

"Sorry, do I pay you to stand around like an idiot?" Arthur suddenly demanded, looking to him angrily.

"…Yes?" Merlin raised his eyebrows again, tilting his head to one side questioningly, a half smile on his face.

"No. No I don't." Arthur gave a smile despite this, "Now, am I to starve, or are you going to serve me some food?"  
"Starving sounds good-"

"-Merlin-" The Prince warned and the boy ducked his head.

"I'll get it for you now." He said with a smile, moving out of the room, Arthur's eyes following him carefully, an amused glint shinning in their depths. Just as the boy was about to leave, the blonde spoke up.

"Merlin?"

Merlin looked around, stood in the doorway. "Yes?"

Arthur smiled and indicated with his eyes to the corner of the room where a dish of food was already set, ready to be served out. Merlin gave a nervous cough and closed the door.

"Ah, of course…it was already here, you just wanted me to…Um…serve it out, yeah, of cours-"

"-_Merlin_."

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

"Yes." Merlin smiled, despite himself and Arthur returned it slight as he sat down, waiting expectantly. Merlin moved forward and served out some food, standing back as the Prince began to eat. Finally after a long while Arthur raised his eyes.

"Are you going to stand there like an idiot all day, or sit with me?" He asked.

"Depends." Merlin admitted.

"On what?"  
"Whether me standing here means I_ am_ an idiot, or am just _acting_ like one."

"Sit down Merlin."

"Yes Sire." The boy took a seat opposite the future King and rested his head on his elbows, before a cough and a warning look told him to sit up straight. He did so, and watched Arthur carefully, until the Prince felt a prickle of annoyance travel down his spine.

"Is there something on my face?" He asked, not pausing in his eating.

"What? Uh, no Sire."

"Then why are you staring?"

"N-no reason."

"Well, I suggest you get a reason quickly, because you're starting to look gormless Merlin." Arthur raised his eyes, chewing his food slowly, and Merlin laughed and shook his head, looking away.

"Sorry." He chuckled, before sighing. Arthur grunted irritably.

"Looks like I'm not going to be able to finish this meal in peace…Just spit it out Merlin."

Merlin, who had just stolen one of the apples from Arthur's fruit basket and taken a bite, looked to the Prince surprised, before moving his hand to his mouth to remove the food.

"No, no you idiot, I didn't mean it literally – put that back in your mouth and swallow it, that's disgusting."

Merlin, looking a little confused, swallowed the apple piece and stared to Arthur who sighed, closing his eyes in despair.

"Sorry." Merlin finally said, wiping his hand on his trousers and Arthur shuddered, looking the other way. "What did you want me to do?"

"It plainer terms – for your simple mind – I want you to tell me what's bothering you." Arthur took another bite, looking uncaringly at his food, before eyeing Merlin.

"Nothing is."

"You're a-"

"-Terrible liar, yes I know." The boy mumbled, looking away and fiddling with his hands. "It's nothing for you to concern yourself with."

"I will be the judge of that."

"Really…I'm sure you'd rather I didn't mention it." Merlin insisted before standing, "I should probably go…I just…I'm glad you're safe now Arthur."

"…What on _earth_ are you talking about?"

"The glade." Merlin said it quickly, and it burst out of him, "Something is on your mind, and you acted so unlike yourself. It was like you were in a deep kind of trouble, like you were someone else entirely. You were in trouble but…It's over now. I'm just…sorry that I couldn't help, or…can't help. If I can please Arthur…_Please _tell me."

Arthur felt that same anger and horror well up in his gut, just as it had done when Merlin had called his name in the glade, looking so frightened and confused, not even recognising the Prince for who he was. Arthur felt almost betrayed, but most of all he felt horrified for allowing anybody to see him like that, no matter how close Merlin was…he hadn't understood. "You are excused." He said coldly, and watched as Merlin closed his eyes, biting his bottom lip as if he were in pain, before finally bowing.

"Yes my lord." He said, eyes to the ground as he left.

Arthur stared after him, glaring at the closed doorway, before giving out an angry shout and sweeping everything off his table with an almighty crash.

-

**And that's all from me, for now. I will try and update some times soon. I hope you all enjoyed. If you have any comments, constructive criticism, or pointers please leave me a review - that would be much appreciated!**

**Thanks!**


	2. The Problem

**Yay! Ok, so another update from me! I wrote this a couple of days ago, but wanted to leave some spaced before I posted it. But before I start the story –**

**Loopylion14**** – **I will try my upmost to post chapters regularly, though I can't promise anything. Thank you for the review, it was really encouraging, and they are really what inspire me to continue.

**Catindahat**** – **Well, you know Arthur, he's naturally stubborn, and admitting he has a problem is probably difficult. Especially one of this nature. :D Don't worry, it will be resolved.

**Mimilafee**** – **Thank you, I hope that it remains interesting. Arthur's problem is revealed in this chapter, but Merlin won't find out just yet. Enjoy having that one over him. :P

**Schnabeldame**** – **Thank you very much, I hope this chapter is worth it.

**Thank you to all my reviewers! Right, so now on with the story!**

**Warning – This chapter has mentions of sexual abuse, and stupidly. Arthur's little problem is also revealed.**

**Disclaimer – The BBC own Merlin, the characters belong to them, I'm just stealing there souls for story telling purposes. **

**Enjoy!**

**-**

Gwen smoothed her hands over the sheets, humming to herself as she completed the chore of making the bed. Morgana had gone for a ride with Uther, strangely enough, and Gwen was taking the chance to finish her chores now, so that she could talk with her mistress when she returned.

There was a small knock on the door, and surprised she looked up to see Merlin pocking his head around the entrance, eyes darting around until they spotted her.

"Morning." He said happily, and she smiled. He has such an easy aura around him - it was just natural that he brought a cheer to those he approached.

"Good morning Merlin, can I help you with something?" She chuckled as he stepped into the room, looking over his shoulder to make sure no talkative servants saw him entering Morgana's chambers – there was never any shortage of scandal amongst the staff.

"I was wondering if you could-" Merlin coughed, rubbing the back of his head, "-Take Arthur his breakfast."

Gwen raised her eyebrows, stopping so that she could better stare to Merlin who shifted, suddenly uneasy, with an awkward smile. "Why?" She finally asked and he coughed again.

"Um, no reason, it's just that I'm very busy and I-"

"-I'm pretty busy here to."

"Oh, that's alright. I'll finish up your chores here." Merlin offered, and watched as Gwen's eyebrows raised even higher.

"I thought you were busy."

"Oh I am, it's just that – I mean, uh…" He chuckled nervously and Gwen sighed, approaching. Carefully she straightened his shirt and looked up to his face.

"Tell me what's going on." She asked.

"I…had a disagreement with him." Merlin admitted and Gwen shook her head.

"Don't worry, you know Arthur – he probably won't even remember what ever it is that you did wrong-"

"-No Gwen, you don't understand. This is different. Trust me when I say he really won't want to see me."

Gwen's brow formed into a worried line and she touched the side of Merlin's face gently, looking into his eyes. It was clear he was deeply upset about something.

"Well alright, but just this once. I'll tell him you got distracted helping Gaius."

"Oh – Thank you so much Gwen!" His face lit up almost immediately and Gwen shook her head, smiling.

"Just give me a second finish making this bed."

"Sure – here, let me help." Merlin went to the other side and helped her fold back the quilt, straightening it out. "Thanks again."

"It's not a problem. I'm guessing this is because of Arthur's travel plans." Gwen smoothed her hands over the pillows, straightening them out.

"Yeah, that's- wait, what travel plans?"

"You haven't heard yet?" Gwen suddenly regretted bringing it up. But it was better that Merlin heard now, and at least from the mouth of a friend. "Arthur's travelling to Lamporth castle tomorrow for a weekend celebration."

"Lamporth Castle?"

"Yes, it belongs to the Lord Udovic."

"I've heard his name."

"He is a great ally of the King." Gwen informed him, "They're friends. I've never met him, or seen him, but apparently both he and his castle are very grand."

"That's…Good?" Merlin offered, before pausing, "Wait a minute, I haven't been told anything about this. When was this finalized?"

"Yesterday."

"But Arthur didn't tell me anything about us going. Honestly, he loves to just spring these things on me." Griped the boy and Gwen flinched a little, causing the boy to look up. "Gwen?"

"Well…" Gwen paused, "That's because you don't have to go."

"What?"

"Yesterday evening Arthur made the preparations. He's taking only a few trusted servants, and that's it…He said he wouldn't be needing you, or your assistance."

Merlin stared to Gwen aghast, and she quickly stammered, trying to brighten up the news.

"Look on the bright side, if you two have had an argument then a little time away from each other should be more than enough to-"

"-He's going _without_ me!?" Merlin pulled back, still stunned. However that quickly turned to fury. "What, doesn't he _trust_ me anymore? Am I not _good _enough?! I though we were…I thought…" He chocked back his anger and looked up to Gwen, catching her eyes.

"…I'm sorry Merlin."

"Forget about taking him breakfast, I will."

"Merlin, wait – _please."_ She tried, but he had already turned and stormed out of the room. With a small moan she looked down to her hands - this was bad.

-

Merlin burst into Arthur's chambers, fury colouring his cheeks as the blonde Prince turned to him, half dressed.

"What have I told you about knocking? And where have you been?" Arthur began, but Merlin cut across him.

"You can't do this!"

"…I'm pretty sure I am capable of dressing myself Merlin, though it was your duty to come and help me this morning-"

"-Why aren't I coming with you?!" Merlin demanded and Arthur paused and then sighed.

"I see you have heard about my planned voyage." He said, "I would have told you myself, had you bothered to be here on time."

"Why are you doing this?" Merlin demanded, and Arthur felt a little flush of annoyance grace through him.

"I suggest you lose that tone before I have you thrown out." He said sharply and Merlin growled, moving forward.

"If this is about what I saw yesterday then I'll never mention it again! But are you that desperate to get away from me, are you _that_ childish!?"

"Don't you dare talk to me like that!" Within an instant Merlin's arm was locked up behind his back, and Arthur had his wrist around the others neck, restraining him. "How dare you, do not forget your place Merlin."

"Why are you doing this!?"

"I don't need to explain myself to you, you're only my servant."

"I'm your friend!" Merlin shouted furiously before being released and thrown forward, Arthur circled around him, his evident anger at the boy's rudeness, glowing in his face.

"You are a servant." He spat, "I tell you what to do, and you do it! Do I make myself clear!?"

Merlin stared up at him and Arthur stared down, his eyes as cold as ice. The Sorcerer clenched his teeth and Arthur turned away.

"Good." He said, voice strong and unwavering. "Get out of my sight."

Breathing hard Merlin stood and stormed out of the room, his footsteps echoing down the corridor. Arthur closed his eyes and leant his head against his window.

"This is for your own good." He muttered, "It's for your own good, you idiot." He clenched his fingers into a fist and breathed out, trying to steady himself.

"Arthur?" A voice spoke and he turned to see Gwen standing in the doorway. She gave him a small curtsy, and then entered the room quickly, closing the door after her. "I heard shouting…I take it that it didn't go well?"

"He's a strong headed idiot." Arthur replied, putting his hands behind his back. They were shaking with uncontrolled anger and upset, but aside from that he showed no outward appearance of being fazed. "Did you break the news to him?"

"Yes Sire. I'm sorry."

"What's done is done, it's fine." He sighed.

"Sire…-Arthur, Merlin hasn't been in Camelot long. He doesn't know about Lamporth castle. I'm sure if I explain it to him that it's for his own good, then you two can resolve this."

"Don't."

"But-"

"-If you tell him Guinevere what exactly do you think he will do?"

Gwen paused, and she gave a sad, understanding nod. "He would come anyway."

"That's correct…Though, after the attitude I've just had to deal with I might reconsider. Maybe a couple of nights in Lamporth castle would do him some good."

"You wouldn't do that to him Sire."

"You're right. I wouldn't." Arthur looked down to the floor, and then up to her, shrugging. "Hopefully his head will have cooled by the time I come back. Just promise me you won't tell him, at least until afterward?"

"I promise."

"Good."

"Will you be alright Sire?"

"Me? Of course, they'll treat me like a Prince, excuse the pun." He smiled as Gwen laughed. "Really Guinevere I am in no trouble what so ever, Lamporth is easier living for me then even Camelot – I won't have to lift a finger."

"Well, in that case I hope you have a good time. It will be nice to have a few days off of training."

"Hmm." He grunted his agreement before running his hand through his hair. "Speaking of training I had better go."

"What about breakfast?"

"I suddenly don't have an appetite." He replied, walking past her out of the doorway. "I'll speak with you later."

"Yes Sire." Gwen stared worriedly after him, but Arthur ignored her well meant attention and continued down the corridor.

-

Merlin stared out of the window angrily, watching as Arthur's small entourage began to ride out. He had a total of six men, four of which were knights who were simply escorting him, and two servants.

'_I should be there too.'_

He banged his fists against the wall and turned around, breathing hard. This was wrong, and so childish – and Merlin knew he was entirely to blame.

'_If I had just kept my mouth shut and not mentioned it then we could have pretended that it had never happened__, that I'd never seen it.'_

He slumped to the floor, putting his head in his hands and moaning quietly. How was he supposed to resolve this? Somehow he didn't think the Dragon would be able to help him this time.

"Merlin?" Gaius called, knocking on the door. He entered a moment later and looked to the boy sat on the floor. "Merlin?" He asked again.

"I've got work to do." The boy responded, forcing himself to his feet and avoiding his eyes.

"Merlin please."

"It's fine, really." He brushed past the other, walking quickly until he got to the stairway, and then he ran.

-

"Arthur!" A voice cried joyously from the top of the steep stairs leading to the entrance of the castle. Arthur passed the reins of his horse to a stable boy and looked up to the owner of the voice, taking in the image of the graceful woman leaping two steps at a time to great him. He opened his arms and hugged the older woman close as she approached, they had never had any need for formalities. "Arthur, oh – God, how you've grown!"

"Cecelia, Happy Birthday." He pulled her away from him and studied her face, "You don't look a day over thirty."

"Oh, you're too sweet!" She smiled, taking his face in her hands and kissing either of his cheeks. "Thank you for coming all this way."

"I couldn't leave you disappointed."

"Oh, you say that but I'm sure that you have a lot of important things to do in Camelot. I'm sorry that I had to drag you out all the way here, but I have missed you, it's been years. Lord, you really have grown."

Arthur smiled, taking her arm and allowing her to lead him up the stairs toward the main entrance. Cecelia was the forty-two year old, bouncy, friendly wife of Lord Udovic, of whom she had been married to for over twenty years. She was not an exceptionally bright woman, but she was always happy and good natured, though oblivious of most other people around her of lower class.

"I see that it's going to be a big party." Arthur looked around at the preparations and Cecelia hummed contently. "Are you excited?"

"Oh, so much!" She grinned, her face almost baby like with innocence, round and fresh. "Come, let me show you to your chambers! My husbands gone out for a ride so he'd not here to greet you."

"That's perfectly alright. I'm quite tired actually."

"Of course you are!" She laced her fingers into his, "I'll have them run you a bath, and have dinner sent up to your room. I know it's been a long day for you – you just get yourself comfortable."

"Thank you." He smiled gratefully, inclining his head.

"Is there anything you'd like to eat in particular?"

"Anything will do."

"Oh, come now Arthur – anything you like, we can have it made." She insisted.

"Really, it's fine." He assured, "Just have something sent up, I'm not fussed…though, venison would be nice."

"Seasoned venison it shall be!" She pecked him on the cheek. "My husband will come and see you when he's returned. Make sure you boys talk about other things that business, alright?"  
Arthur swallowed, drawing in a small, but sharp breath before nodding. "Of course." He said, forcing his expression into one of happiness. "I await his coming with anticipation."

"He's been very excited to see you." She chirped.

Arthur faulted, "I'm sure."

-

"Merlin!" The boy jumped, surprised before turning to Gwen who looked to him, mouth drawn into a thin line. "That's the fifth time I've called you."

"What, oh…Sorry." He shrugged, and moved over so that she could sit next to him. He was perched on a wall out in the grounds of Camelot watching the knights practising. It was already getting dark, but still the men continued – things had just slowed down without Arthur and they were behind schedule. "They're really late in finishing today." He said, pointed to them.

"They have no one to guide them." She put a hand on his shoulder and he looked to her with a small smile. "You've been distracted all day."

"I can't help it."

"I know you can't."

"I'm just…so angry." He paused, "Angry with myself."

"Yourself?" She asked, confused and he pulled away, standing and pacing infront of her.

"I did something stupid. I upset him, said something I shouldn't have – brought up a bad topic and now…now he hates me."

"Of course he doesn't-"

"-You know how stubborn Arthur is! He'll never let this go, I know he won't. I've really…I've really messed this up." He put a hand to his head and sighed, "Ugh, my head hearts." He moaned.

"Sit down." Gwen pulled him back down, watching him with worried eyes. Merlin covered his face and breathed out steadily, trying to calm himself. "Oh…Merlin, I've got to tell you something. I know I'm not supposed to, Arthur made me promise but…Well, it can't do you any harm now, he's already gone and I hate to see you suffering like this – You're going to make yourself ill with all of this worrying."

Merlin looked up, staring to her intently. "What? What is it?" He asked and she bit her bottom lip. "Please Gwen, tell me."

"Arthur isn't angry at you…The reason he didn't want to you to go to Lamporth castle was to protect you."

"What?"

"I told you Lamporth castle was very grand – and it is…But that's only for the nobles."

Merlin tilted his head to one side, frowning slightly. "What do you mean?"

"Udovic and his family have a different regard on servants." She tried in attempt of an explanation.

"What even worse than Uther's?" Merlin joked, and then stopped at the dead serious look in her eyes.

"Yes Merlin, much worse." She replied in a whisper. "Even if we're with Arthur we'll be treated like the rest of them. And whilst Uther may have you put in the stocks, they'll have you lashed if you take one step wrong. Which is fine; as long as you can obey everything they ask, and do everything they tell you."

"That's…But that's wrong!" Merlin gaped, "How can they do that?"

"This is why Arthur didn't want to take you…" She cupped his face, "You follow your heart to much, even if you are hard working. Here in Camelot you may be able to get away with quite a few of the things you do, because Arthur can cover for you, and most people turn a blind eye…but not in Lamporth. You would have to suppress everything you are – you wouldn't even be allowed to talk to Arthur at all, unless to deliver a message, or agree with him. He'd rather go lonely for a few days then see you lashed, even if he'd never admit it."

"…So he's gone to that terrible place alone!?"

"Merlin it's only terrible for servants, I promise you." She gripped his hand, "It'll be fun for him, he'll have a wonderful time, I assure you."

"No…He was edgy yesterday, he must have not wanted to go. I know it Gwen, he's not happy there, I've got to go and see him-"

"-This is _exactly_ why Arthur told me not to tell you." She pulled him down as he tried to stand again. "I only told you because you looked troubled, please calm down, there is nothing you can do now."

"But-"

"-I assure you." She gave him a half smile. "Just enjoy a few days off Merlin, relax a little like he's doing. And when he gets back everything will be back to normal, ok?"

Merlin looked to her, and then gave her a nod. "Thank you…Thanks for telling me Gwen."

"It's not a problem." She smiled and he bowed his head in a form of a good bye before turning.

He walked back into the courtyard toward Gaius's tower, deep in thought.

'_The castle Lamporth…I wonder if that really might be what was making Arthur so edgy? But why should it, it really doesn't make any sense at all.'_

He got up to his room, closing the door after him and lay on his bed. He had the rest of the evening off…He could practise some magic, but in truth, for the first time in a long time he didn't really feel like it. Well, not yet anyway. He could maybe go and see the Dragon, though he didn't really have a reason to, and he preferred to avoid him if possible.

In the basic Merlin was bored. He rolled over and looked to the wall, giving himself a half smile. Could it be that he actually _missed_ Arthur?

At any other time he would have rejoiced at the idea of being let free of his services for a few days…but not in these circumstances, like this he hated the idea. As much as the Prince was a complete and utter prat, and his number of chores was always painfully large, Merlin still loved spending time with Arthur…because they were friends too, because it was fun, funny even. And there was nothing better than going on an adventure with the blonde, going out, their destiny's intertwined as they were, and defeating some foe.

'_Even if I do nearly always get killed, and Arthur doesn't realise that I've saved his arrogant arse more than enough times to be knighted.'_

He rolled back over, onto his other side and sighed quietly before getting up and fetching his magic book from it's hidden place beneath the floor. Opening it up he scanned the pages for the last one he'd read and began to practise again. It was going to be a long, but fruitful few days.

-

"Arthur." Udovic came into the room and approached him, opening his arms. "Arthur, Arthur, Arthur." He embraced the Prince and pulled away, staring to him with fond eyes. "It's been too long."

"Yes." Arthur replied stiffly, as Udovic patted him gently on the arm. "How have you been, Udovic?"

"Oh, please do call me Henry, unless you're hinting that you would prefer me to call you Pendragon?"

Arthur paused, and then forced a tight smile to appear on his face. "Of course not friend."

"That is good – now, let me have a look at you." The older man pulled back regarded Arthur with his grey eyes. "Excellent, excellent! You grow more handsome by the day." He rubbed his hands together gleefully and Arthur looked the other way, trying to pretend that he was far more interested in the tapestries. "Is something wrong, Arthur?"

"No." He replied, "It has just been a long day."

"Of course, you must forgive me – you have ridden all this way, have you not? It must have been tiresome. And I see that you have had a bath prepared, so I shan't keep you long." He paused and circled around Arthur, his hand brushing Arthur's back from shoulder to shoulder. "But I haven't seen you in so long…You've really grown up."

"Yes, as a lot of people are telling me." He kept his voice even as the hands travelled down further along his spine, in a sort of feather light massage. He felt the tip of Udovic's nose against the back of his neck, and he flinched away – it was cold and the touch icy. But he stood his ground, his feet firmly planted as Henry's hands intertwined around his waist onto his toned stomach, always just feeling, but never pressing.

"Look at all of these muscles."

Arthur felt the whisper on his neck and shuddered a little, keeping his eyes set forward. "Stop doing that." He ordered.

"Stop what?"

"This…Stop doing this." He said it every time, but there was never any difference. The result was the same. It just made Arthur feel better that he hadn't just taken it willingly, that he'd voiced his dislike.

"I'm only touching you." Udovic said, "I'm familiarizing myself with your body again – after all it's been a long time since you were that little boy who came to visit."

"Indeed. Most people I haven't seen in a long time can hold themselves back from stroking me up though." He warned, but remained unmoving. He knew he couldn't move, if he did there would be trouble. For his honour he had to stand his ground, even if he was being dishonoured in the process.

"Most people aren't such good friends of your father, most people don't know little, temping truths about this body of yours." He responded, applying a little more pressure this time as he moved up to Arthur's chest. The boy had to hold himself back from turning around and punching the other directly in the face. "Isn't that right Arthur?"

He didn't respond, looking stubbornly forward, and ignoring the lump in his throat and the burning shame. He would take the higher ground, because Udovic could feel, even as he did this, that he was being undermined, insulted. As long as he didn't give Henry the satisfaction that what he was doing was having an effect then Henry would leave, unsatisfied.

The hands pulled away and Udovic stepped back, beaming. "Ah, I've got it all memorised now! Ah, but look at me, delaying you from your bath. I shall leave now, it was lovely seeing you again Arthur, I look forward to tomorrow greatly." And with that he turned to leave. "Good night."

Arthur watched as he closed the door, and then his rigid, regal posture dropped and he slumped, breathing hard, anger flaring through his body as he gripped his hands into fists. He wanted nothing more than to drive his sword through that perverted bastard's stomach! But he knew better.

Sighing he undressed himself, having dismissed the servants earlier when he knew Udovic was coming, and got into the bath. It was still very warm and he relaxed a little in it, submerging himself.

'_Why do I put up with this?'_

He thought, and a painful pressure squeezed angrily in his chest. Why did he put up with it? Well, it was just as Udovic had said, he was a friend of Uther, and he had done this to Arthur since he was only a small boy. That in itself was enough unspoken blackmail. If he stopped Udovic than the truth would come out, and who would be able to look up to and respect a King, as Arthur was to become, if he had such a shameful secret as to have allowed himself, unknowingly, to be dirtied in such a way? The only way to stop Udovic was to kill him, but he was a vital part of the trading system in Camelot, and many depended on him. If he were to die then there would be a lot of trouble for Uther's people, as well as Uther who looked upon Udovic as a strong friend.

Arthur put his people first. He would withstand this as long as he had to and preserve himself only by avoiding Udovic as much as possible. As long as he didn't have to see him then it would be fine. He had managed to avoid him for several years, and he knew that if you put his mind to it, it would be more than several years before the next time he had to see him.

Suddenly he felt shaken, and in the privacy of his room he allowed himself to sit in his bath and shiver, clutching his arms around him. He felt disgusted, sick even. But it was alright – he still had the upper hand, he'd given Udovic no satisfaction this time. He had remained cool headed, he had not fed the man's fantasies with anything.

'_But I did once.'_

He punched his hand down onto the side of the bath with an angry growl as shame filled his cheeks. He had just been a boy, unable to comprehend, but that was no excuse. It was the source of all of this, and perhaps, had he had better conduct, a well thought plan and pride, and honour…perhaps if he had acted more like the Prince he was then all of this could have been avoided. But his foolishness had cost him, and now here he was, shamed again. Disgusted with himself. Furious even.

Getting out of the bath he dried himself quickly, suddenly horrified with the idea of staying naked for long. He dressed himself and got into bed. He'd ask the servants to drain his bath in the morning, for now he didn't have the energy.

He pulled the covers around him and lay on his front, head into his pillow. He could almost hear Merlin's words.

"_Incredible – did you actually just get out of the bath, get dressed, and get into bed on your own? Are you feeling unwell?"_

"I am capable of doing some things."

"_Really?"_

"Well, obviously."

"_You wouldn't have thought it sometimes, eh?"_

"Merlin?"

"_Yes?"_

"Shut up." Arthur grinned, into his pillow, and fell asleep. Pretending that for, just a moment, his room was not empty of any good company.

"_Even if your own fantasies you abuse me."_

-

Merlin lay awake in his bed, smiling to himself. He felt that satisfied hum he always got after performing magic, and as such he had managed to lighten his foul mood.

Supporting the back of his head in his hands he stared up to the ceiling with a small smile.

"Night Prince Prat." He said quietly, before giving a small chuckle and rolling over.

-

**Yay! Finite, for now! I'll post the next chapter some time soon, so watch the space!**

**Please review! **

**Bye for now and MERRY CHRISTMAS!**


	3. Black Hope

**Hello again! I hope you all have a lovely Christmas!**

**So yes, here be another update from me, which I hope you will all enjoy!**

**Replies to reviews –**

**Mimilafee**** – Haha, thank you. Though I'm not sure that Merlin is actually there with Arthur, they both just have a strong sense of being with each other, and are probably thinking the same sort of conversation. There will be some ****ubiquity at a later stage though. Thanks for the review!**

**Loopylion14**** – Thank you, I'm hoping that it will be emotion and deep. To start off it's a bit slow, but there will be a plot line as well, and it will get faster. I hope you enjoy it. **

**Kittendragon**** – Hey. Yes, this is going to be an Arthur/Merlin, Merlin/Arthur fic, and don't worry, revenge will be had. As for Merlin being there, well he wasn't really there at all. Arthur imagined him up because he was lonely, and Merlin did the same his side. They probably thought of a similar conversation, and as such, it was almost as if they were together, because there bond is so strong. The reason that Arthur didn't imagine him for comfort when Udovic was there, was because he can't stand the idea of people seeing this weakness, and he's so shamed and angry. It's a little similar to his feelings after the glade scene, where he's horrified to realised that Merlin was watching him, and that he didn't understand.**

**Catindahat ****– Oh yes, Merlin is going to be very, very upset when he finds out the truth, and revenge will be had. The question is, can Arthur hold out that long?**

**Right, a warning for this chapter; it does contain some mild sexual scenes, but I'm hoping I can keep this as a T rating, at least for now. If you guys think I should up the rating then I will do so, and will also put in a little more detail, because if it has to be a mature I might as well go full out!**

**Disclaimer – I don't own Merlin, or any of its characters. I do own the kiddie fiddler- I mean Udovic…**

**Enjoy!**

-

"Good morning!" Cecilia had leapt him before he had a chance to defend himself and he was nearly thrown backwards.

"G-Good morning?" Arthur asked, forcing her off of him so that he could look at her. She was dressed beautifully in a flowing blue gown, her hair cascading down her back, fair and gracious. He smiled to her and she beamed back.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Very." He replied, "And yourself?"

"Oh well…" She gave him a cheeky wink, "Not really, if you get what I mean. You have a real effect, you know?"

He blinked, "Sorry, I'm afraid I don't understand." Arthur raised his eyebrows, looking to her with bemusement.

"It's Henry – Ah I think you remind him of his younger days with Uther. It's like he's reborn when he's with you, and…well, let's just say he get's very aroused with me in the be-"

"-Ok!" Arthur grabbed her by the arm and forced her to continue walking with him, "Let's not talk about that."

"Oh, I am sorry dear." She giggled and he tried to ignore the fact that his cheeks were burning very slightly at the very mention of sexual intercourse between Udovic and his wife. To put it plainly it was disgusting.

"So, at what time to the festivities begin?" He asked, looking around as several servants darted past him, bowing low and dashing off so as not to be seen standing still for too long and accused of slacking off.

"Well I was thinking you and I could go for a ride, what do you say?" She asked, lacing her fingers through his again, and he shrugged.

"Why not? Will it be just you and me?"

"Of course Arthur – I haven't seen you in so long, I'm sure everyone else can cope if I steal you for a little while."

"You'd be surprised."

She fell about laughing and he looked around to the side. Already he could see several of his Knights enjoying some of the luxuries of the castle, but he felt ill at ease at doing the same. Back in Camelot he would have been more than happy to demand anything of his servants, but here he just didn't have the heart to…Well, aside form the necessities of course, like dressing, and bathing and all other manner of Princely chores which needed to be done for him.

As they stepped out into the courtyard Cecilia yelled out angrily about the fact that the horses hadn't been prepared and Arthur had to quietly remind her that the servants hadn't been told that they were going out yet.

"Oh but they heard us talking!" She complained furiously and Arthur sighed, glad that at least it was Cecilia was saw this and not Udovic. Cecilia would forget eventually after, perhaps, yelling for a little while. Udovic would bring down 'justice' in the shape of a whip.

Getting on to the hurriedly prepared horses Cecilia and Arthur rode out of the castle grounds into the open farm lands, going along a dirt track as they talked.

"So, how is your father?"

"Very well, his usual self."

"As always." She smiled, her cheeks dimpling. "I suppose his hatred of magic is still as strong as ever."

"Magic is evil."

"Hm…I think swords are evil." She said with a shrug. Arthur raised his eyebrows and laughed.

"What?"

"I think swords are evil."

He scoffed, "Swords can't be _evil_, they're just…Swords."

"Why can't they be evil?"

"They're things Cecilia, they don't have minds of their own, people have to wield them."

"So swords are only evil if their wielders are evil?"

"Swords aren't evil full stop. Their effects might be, yes, because of the wielder, but swords themselves are just tools."

"Isn't magic just a tool?"

"No, magic is…" He paused, "Magic is evil."

"But magic doesn't have a life of it's own."

"Of course it does, witches and sorcerer's might be bad but they are still alive." He shrugged, before quickly adding, "Well, most of them."

"But they would just be normal people, wouldn't they, if they didn't have magic."

"No, because they would be evil." He tried to explain.

"So are _they_ evil, or is magic?"

"It's the same thing!" He rolled his eyes, and then stopped as she drew her horse to a halt.

"Magic is just a tool…It's a force, it doesn't have emotions of it's own."

"I have watched Camelot nearly be destroyed several times, watched my knights die because of magical attacks."

"So the people who wielded the attacks were bad." She argued and he sighed.

"Alright, I see your point. My mistake – magic isn't evil, but all the people who wield it are, so therefore it is only ever used for misdeeds."

"Misdeeds like what?"

"Murder."

"Your sword kills too."

"What are you trying to say?" He narrowed his eyes, bringing his horse around so that he was blocking her path. She gazed to him, her eyes slightly glazed over and then smiled.

"Nothing Arthur, I'm just saying for all your hate of magic – understandable as it is – what if your future was dependant on magic, what if your destiny was intertwined with…I don't know, a witch maybe? Or a Sorcerer?"

He snorted, bringing his horse back around again, so that it was facing the right direction, "My destiny is more likely to be intertwined with my manservant Merlin!"

Cecilia gave out a shrill laugh, immediately snapping out of her almost trance like state as they began to ride again. "Well, you never know – perhaps your manservant is actually your long lost brother or something."

"Hah, most definitely not." He shook his head, looking forward again. "Though he is a good man, a good friend." Cecilia rolled her eyes and Arthur looked to her, watching her. "What?"

"You're talking about a servant Arthur." She replied with a smile, "Servants aren't friends, they just…are."

Arthur stared to her and then looked back, urging his horse forward. "For all your defence of magic you've really got something twisted in your opinions." He murmured.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

She paused, "Arthur?"

"Yes?"

"Give me your hand quickly." She outstretched her own hand and he rode back, grasping her small, cold pale fingers in his own. "I worry about you sometimes Arthur."

"There's really no need."

"But I do…when you're far away. You know I've known you ever since you were nothing more than a little child. I care very much for you."

"Thank you." He paused and looked to her, and for a minute he saw a glint of somebody else in her eye, somebody very loving, kind and gentle.

"Will you let me say a prayer for you?"

"…" He coughed and looked the other way, "If you must."

"Thank you." She laced her fingers through his again and closed her eyes and whispered, her voice soft and relaxing. "Swear it, to protect Arthur Pendragon who holds back an impure sorrow with his adamant, stubborn courage." She let go of his hand and smiled to him as he stared to her. "Something wrong?"

"No…That was a very strange prayer."

"That's because it wasn't a prayer to God." She replied.

"Then who was it to?"

She grinned, her eyes shinning with a strange sort of faith and love, "You're destiny." She replied. Arthur stared at her and looked away.

"Just when I think I understand you…Never mind, come, let's gallop this last part."

"Oh yes! That sounds wonderful."

-

"_A__'mue aqua gelu_._"_ Merlin's eyes flashed with gold as he out stretched his hand, concentrating toward the bowl of water. Slowly a cold, icy wind formed around his fingers and travelled toward the liquid, circling it and then entering. Merlin watched delighted as the water began to crackle, and then completely froze. "Yes!" He punched the air, "Got it!"

"Got what?" Gaius entered and the boy jumped, putting his hand behind his back.

"Nothing." He said innocently, "I just…um…remembered something that I had forgotten." He gave a satisfied nod at this and Gaius watched him carefully before shrugging and excepting it.

"Well that's good enou- what on earth?" He looked to the bowl, "Ice? How in good God's name have we managed to get ice in here, surely in can't be that cold-…" He looked up to Merlin who shuffled his feet with an awkward grin. "Merlin?"

"Oh…yeah, I may have been doing some magic as well."

"In broad daylight?" Gaius despaired.

"I'm sorry Gaius, I didn't mean to-"

"-Do you have any idea what would have happened if it had been the King who walked through that doorway and not me?"

"The King?" Merlin smiled, "Well, I have little to fear in that case, because Uther would never come up here, reall-"

A knock sounded on the door and they both looked to each other. Merlin shook his head, "No." He stated, "There is no way."

"Be quiet and go and get rid of this." Gaius responded, thrusting the freezing bowl into Merlin's hands, causing his to gasp at it's temperature.

"Christ that's cold."

"Well of course it is – now off you go!" Gaius shoved him toward his bedroom and Merlin moved quickly, closing the door behind him. A second later he heard Gwen speaking from the other side and relaxed, before glancing back to the bowl. Looking around he raised his hand and sent out his magic. _"A'mue agua tepidus."___He whispered and watched as the ice instantly melted and went back to room temperature. He grinned, he had it mastered. Changing the state of water was a lot harder then he had originally thought it would be, and whilst he had quickly mastered how to boil water several months ago, he'd only just gotten around to learning how to do the opposite. But now he had it in the nutshell.

'_When I think of all the times in Ealdor when we were forbidden from walking out onto the frozen lake – I could make it safe for everybody now, we would never have to worry about it breaking. And I could keep the cleaning water warm, and make hot tea in a flash.__'_

He smiled and then sighed, just as a knock sounded on his door. "Merlin? It's me Gwen, can I come in?"

"Uh…Just a minute!" He looked about himself to the bowl of water which sat on his floor, quite out of place. Glancing around in a panic, and quite thrown on where to hide it he grabbed it and downed the liquid, turning around just in time to see Gwen coming in. He craftily hid the bowl behind his back.

"Hey Merlin, sorry for -…Are you alright?" Gwen asked, looking him up and down as he grinned nervously in return, nodding.

"Yep, fine, yes, never better." He assured as he stared to him, eyebrows raised.

"Well if you're sure…" She blinked and then sighed with a smile, "I was wondering if you wanted to come and have a walk with me to pass some time."

He paused and then beamed, "Yeah, I'd really like that."

-

After a whole day of rather ridiculous festivities, over flowing goblets of spiced and sweet wine, ale and mead Arthur had managed to excuse himself and make it to his chambers. It had taken a good while as he was…well to put it honestly, more than a little tipsy.

Closing the door of his room he fell upon his bed, face first and gave out a groan. It had been a long day, full of events where he had been forced to smile, and others which he had genuinely enjoyed. But now, with the moon almost at it's highest in the sky, he was exhausted, and could go on no more. But still…

"I can't wait to get back home." He mumbled.

"I'm sad to hear that."

Arthur turned and sat bolt upright, staring to Udovic who stood, leaning against the wall, opposite him. "Udovic-"

"-I took the liberty of letting myself in." He smiled, "Have you had fun today Arthur?"

"…It was pleasurable." He responded, composing himself and standing.

"Then why are you so keen to leave?"

"There are things to be done."

"There are always things to be done." Udovic advanced and Arthur raised his guard, staring toward the other. "Relax boy, I don't plan to harm you."

"Then there is no need for you to approach me."

"Arthur." He smiled, "Arthur, Arthur, Arthur – what would your father say if you heard you being so rude."

"What would he say if he found out what you were doing?" Was the snarled response.

"I don't know, what would he say?" Henry smiled and Arthur stiffened. "Stop trying to fight me."

"Take one step closer and it'll be your head."

"With what Arthur? You're not even armed, and I can see that you are drunk. How do you plan to fight me off?"

"My head is clear enough." Arthur replied evenly before wincing in surprise. Udovic had, in a few short quick steps, closed the space between them and had his hand rested on Arthur's groin.

"Your head is clear? Is that so…Well that makes the fact that you're enjoying this all the more detestable then, doesn't it?"

"I am not enjoying this." Arthur spat, forcing him away. But Udovic was big, and strong – stronger than even Arthur, and the boy ended up pushing himself backward, rather than vice versa. His knee's hit the mattress of the bed and he tripped. In the confusion of the fall Udovic grabbed his arms and forced them above his head, pinning him down. His other hand didn't move, continuing to caress the other's groin gently.

Arthur snarled angrily and tried to free himself, but he was unable to move and if the weakness done by the alcohol was a burden it was nothing in comparison to the warmth spreading through his lower stomach which rendered his legs and lower half completely useless. He grunted and his head flopped back as he bit his bottom lip, trying with all his might to free his hands. "Get off!"

"Why would I want to do that?"

"I order you to get of – no…stop!" He felt his body betray him as his hips arched up in greeting to the touch. Udovic had skilfully unbuckled Arthur's belt and slipped his hand into the boy's trousers, gripping his length. "Don't you dare!"

"Oh I dare Pendragon, I dare."

"No – get off! Get off!" He snarled, and then groaned, unable to stop himself, shame spreading through him. His body might have well have belonged to somebody else for all of the cooperation he was getting. He felt himself flush.

"Are you sure you're not enjoying this."

"I swear it, get off!"

"You've very hard down here."

"Get off! Stop it!" He fought and then gave a strangled cry through his teeth as Udovic tightened his fist.

"This will do."

"Let go now! I swear if you don't...!"

"I'll only let go when you've finished. Now let me hear you groan, Arthur Pendragon."

"Go to hell!" He chocked, closing his eyes, and fighting for all his might to remain calm. He knew that he couldn't get out of this, Udovic had too strong an advantage point in ever respect, so he would just have to go through with it and wait until it was over.

'_Just hold on…don't give him what he wants! Oh God…Ah…God. Hold on!'_

He held his breath, trying to strangle down any noise and waited. Finally, after several long minutes Arthur gave out a pitiful moan. "…You bastard…The things I will do to you when-" He hit organism before another word could be said and he gave out a long growl, his breathing hard and heavy. He felt his stomach convulse a little as Udovic's warm hand let go, allowing his wet length to be exposed to the cold.

'_It's over…over.'_

Arthur's body wilted back against the mattress, he felt weak and tired. So tired as to even not be angry any more, just hateful. All he could do for now was force down his shouts of shame and horror, in the morning he would resolve this in the only way he could.

Tomorrow he would leave, but for now he kept his eyes closed, still willing it to be nothing more than a nightmare.

For a long moment there was silence and then Arthur felt something brush against his cheek as Udovic leant over and whispered into his ear.

"There is hope after all."

-

"Merlin! Merlin, wake up quickly!" Gaius knocked on Merlin's door, before entering to find the boy strewn across his bed. "Merlin!"

"Hm? What…what time is it?" Merlin mumbled sleepily as he rolled over a little, his eyes still red and puffed with sleep, or perhaps lack of.

"Nine o'clock Merlin, you should be up."

"Aren't I allowed a sleep in once in a while?" The boy complained, "Arthur isn't even here."

"Well actually…" Gaius said, and the boy stared to him before sitting up quickly, eyes wide, "That's what I came to talk to you about."

"He's back!?" Merlin felt a jolt of a mixture of joy and anxiety burn through him.

"I just saw him riding through the courtyard, God knows what time he must have risen to make it back this early - Merlin, where are you going?"

"To see him of course." Merlin replied, dressing hurriedly, "If someone isn't there to help him change out of his riding gear, well, he'll have a hissy-fit!"

Gaius smiled at seeing the boy so energized after what had felt like a very long weekend. "Go on then, I'll see you later – Oh, and Merlin…"

"Yes?"

"Try not annoy him this time."

Merlin smiled, "I'll do my best."

"Do more than your best!"

"Have you no faith in me?!" Merlin laughed as he ran out of the room and Gaius chuckled.

"In these matters, none at all!" The old man replied.

-

"Arthur?" Uther sat a little straighter in his throne, regarding his son. "You're back already?"

"Yes Father, I had an early start."

"Yes I can see that, I didn't expect you until the afternoon, even the evening. Why are you back so soon?"

"I enjoyed the party greatly Father, but felt that my jobs here were of more pressing importance and was therefore unable to remain away longer in Lamporth." He paused, "Lord Udovic, and Cecilia send their best regards."

The King inclined his head with a slight smile, "Very well…You truly are married to your work, aren't you, Arthur?"

"Of course." Arthur inclined his head, making sure to keep his eyes straight. His father had a way of being able to read his unease if he stared into his eyes too long.

From behind he suddenly heard hurried and clumsy footsteps and his heart leapt with recognition as he tried not to smile at the image of Merlin tripping over his own feet in his hurry to make it to the court room in time. The footsteps stopped a few meters behind him and he was unable to stop a small smirk appearing on his lips. "Lord Udovic asked me to deliver this letter to you." He pulled it out and presented it to his father who accepted it gratefully.

"Excellent, I will read it later when I have dealt with some business." Uther looked genuinely happy as Arthur bowed slightly.

"I shall take my leave." He said ceremoniously, allowing Uther to give him a dismissive nod before turning. He caught eyes with Merlin and ordered him in one stare to follow. The black haired boy did, falling into step with him the moment they were out in the corridor. For a long moment they didn't speak, and then-

"Aren't you going to ask me how my journey was?" Arthur asked and Merlin ducked his head a little.

"Sorry, how was your journey?"

"Fine, thank you. Long, but fine."

"That's good…Uh, how the party?" Merlin asked, trying to appear casual and Arthur just felt something relax within him. Conversations with Merlin were interesting, often funny too, and the boy's company, despite his status, had always been enjoyable.

"I drank enough alcohol to shame every single local drunk in Camelot." He said and Merlin grinned.

"Really?"

"Of course. I am the crown Prince you, you know…I can do that." Arthur smiled and Merlin's grin widened, he looked so truly happy that Arthur was almost thrown off. The blonde shook his head, looking forward. "Now come on, I've got a whole bunch of things for you to do – starting with my boots, which need to be cleaned."

"Again?"

"Yes Merlin, again."

Merlin nodded slowly as they continued to walk in silence, but Arthur sensed that there was something else the boy wanted to say. Finally he spoke, just as they reached Arthur's chambers.

"Arthur…"

"Yes?" He asked, entering, and for a moment Merlin hesitated and then smiled.

"Thank you…Thank you for not taking me to Lamporth Castle…Gwen explained everything to me." He admitted and Arthur's eyebrows rose.

"She did, did she? Hmm." He looked the other way, "I should have taken you." He said, though there was no venom in his words.

"Why?"

"I'm sure it would have been more fun if you had been there."

Merlin smiled, "Didn't you enjoy yourself?"

"Of course I did for some of it…but I'm sure getting to watch you be chased around with a whip would have provided even more hours of endless amusement."

"Yeah, I'm sure." Merlin replied sarcastically, face paling a little.

"No but really." Arthur insisted as Merlin began to help him undo his armour. "I did miss your company."

"You miss abusing me that much?"

Arthur laughed, "That too." He admitted, "But I missed your retorts…It was a long ride, and I wouldn't have minded a good conversation or two." He paused, and then glanced to Merlin who had stopped, with a sort of smile gracing his face again. "Don't take too much from that Merlin."

"Sorry." He carried on undoing the Prince's armour, the smile never leaving his face. "I won't." He paused again, "So…Am I forgiven?"

"What for?"

"Well…If you don't remember than I guess I am." Merlin said, moving back as Arthur turned to glare at him.

"What did you do? Set my bed on fire or something- Hey! Get back here Merlin! What did you do! Hey!"

"See you later Sire!" And with that and a small laugh, Merlin turned and disappeared out of the room, Arthur shouting after him as he did.

"I definitely do not forgive you Merlin, for what ever you did! Get back here! Get back now!"

-

"So, you've made it up with Arthur?" Gwen smiled as Merlin nodded, brushing the boots down hard with the polish to make sure they gleamed. Arthur had demanded that he be able to see his reflection in them all, so Merlin really had no time to spare. He had used a little magic to create an extra shine, but when Gwen had arrived he'd been forced to go about it with his hands.

"Yeah." He looked up with a smile, "Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"Well…we haven't really spoken about it…So I guess it's the same thing." He looked back down to the boot, "But I did thank him for not taking me to Lamporth."

"That's good." Gwen came and sat beside him, taking up one of the boots and helping as she spoke. "So, how is he?"

"Fine."

"Really?" She looked to him and Merlin nodded. "So, do you think you were mistaken about something being wrong?"

"I don't know…he seems almost a bit relieved to be back, and then there's the fact he left Lamporth so early…But it doesn't matter, he's back to being Prince Prat now, so I don't think there is any difference."

"Back to being what?" A voice asked and Merlin froze, before looking up to Arthur who had entered the room, arms folded, he looked down to the servants. "And why is Guinevere helping you with your chores?"

"Sorry Sire, I distracted him, and as an apology I decided to help." Gwen offered and Arthur raised his eyebrows before looking back to Merlin who nodded in agreement.

"Fine." He muttered, before walked over and looming above the black haired boy. "Now, repeat what you just said?"

Merlin gave out a small laugh, "I can't quite remember."

"You can't remember?"

"No Sire."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Would you like me to help you remember?" Arthur raised his fist and Merlin jumped back.

"I called you a prat!" He said, before realising that saying this probably wasn't going to actually help him in anyway.

"Oh, is that right? And why did you do that?"

"Because…You are a prat." Merlin offered and then laughed as Arthur went to punch him, the two pretending to duel. "What? You are."

"Say that again and I'll shove something hard through your stomach."

"Only something hard? Not a sword?"

"How are you supposed to do the chores I have for you if you're dead!?" Arthur grinned and Merlin shuddered as Gwen laughed at their behaviour.

"Honestly, you two behave like children." A voice said from behind and they looked to see Morgana stood in the doorway, arms crossed.

"He started it." They both said at the same time, pointing to each other and Gwen and Morgana both burst out laughing, looking to one another as the boys fumed.

"Such children."

"Yes My Lady."

"Hey, we are in here!" Merlin complained as Arthur sighed, shaking his head.

"Ignore them Merlin." He looked around, "You have chores to do." He turned and strode to one side of the room, picking up his sword and going to the doorway. "I have to go and train with the Knights, make sure these are all cleaned by the time I get back." He paused, and then looked to his sword critically. "Merlin?"

"Yes?"

"Come here." Arthur ordered and the boy approached, walking past the still giggling Morgana and Gwen. "I need this sword sharpened, do it for me." The Prince passed Merlin the sword and as the boy went to take it his hand brushed with Arthur's own. And just as it did something, like a static shock, jumped between them.

"Ow!" Merlin pulled back, holding the sword as Arthur looked to his hand, half curiously before shrugging.

"Make sure it's done for when I get back."

Merlin stared to his hand, feeling an odd numbing sensation spread through it. "Yes Sire." He muttered, only half listening as Arthur snorted and left the room.

"I'd better go too." Gwen stood up, passing Merlin the brush back as Morgana gave another laugh and nodded her agreement.

"And I as well." Together the girls, still both smiling, left and Merlin was left alone in the chambers, still looking to his hand. He flexed it, it was almost as if he had pins and needles, and it was uncomfortable.

Looking about to make sure nobody was around he used his other hand to cast the feeling away, with magic. "_Actus est sonue." _He muttered, trying to get the blood flowing again. However the moment he activated his magic something happened.

Merlin stopped dead, holding his head as a searing pain burst through him, voices suddenly filling his skull. "Agh!"

'_**Juramentum, **__**Arthur Pendragon ous tutela, ni purus moestita, adamans ferox !'**_

His eyes opened with a start. He was staring up to Arthur's ceiling, his breathing hard and heavy, his hands gripped into fists.

"What…What the hell was that?" He gasped, terror running through him as he tried to comprehend. It had been magic, no doubt about that but…Merlin was almost definitely sure that those words had not been a spell, or enchantment.

Sitting up slowly the boy looked around and was astonished to see that all of the shoes had been done, put into a neat row. He glanced to the window and saw that the sun had sunken a little in the sky and stared in horror around him.

'_How long was I out for?! And what happened? Who did my chores?'_

He stood, shakily, glancing down to his hands which were stained with polish, as they would have been had he done all the shoes like he was meant to. He looking around, trying to comprehend.

"Ok, stay calm." He told himself, casting his mind back to what had just happened.

'_I touched Arthur's hand and got a shock…and then a second later I heard that spell in my head and then…Wait…'_

And suddenly he remembered himself turning and doing the chores, whole attention on the task, as if he couldn't concentrate on anything else, as if his mind was already filled with something else. He shook his head and took a few shaky steps back. What had his magic done? He had completely blanked doing all of these things, but he could now remember doing them.

Shaken he put a hand to his head and took in a deep shuddering breath, trying to calm himself down.

'_Have I over used my magic or something? Is there something wrong with me?'_

He pulled his hand away and, with fearful determination set on his face, outstretched it again. _"Est __àluinn fabre rutilus."_ He mumbled, casting out his magic toward the boots which suddenly glowed, and then gleamed, even brighter and better polished. Merlin drew his hand back and studied it carefully. Nothing was out of place; his magic was the same as it had been.

"Maybe it was the dragon." He supposed, before shrugging and wiping his hand down his shirt. Midway through the action he felt the hair on the back of his neck rise, as something tingled along his spine. Merlin glanced around, feeling suddenly anxious. He always only got this kind of feeling when he was watching somebody he cared for diving head first into danger…which meant that he normally got it when he was with the prat.

Looking around he closed his eyes and stretched out his senses, trying to find something – anything that could explain the cause of this feeling.

Again the words of magic that had just played in his mind recited themselves in his memory, seeming to almost echo.

'_Juramentum, Arthur Pendragon ous tutela, ni purus moestita, adamans ferox.'_

His eyes burst open. "Oh no." Merlin whispered, "Arthur."

He turned and ran with all his might, uncaring suddenly of what had just happened to him, his mind focused only on the bad feeling in his gut. Because something was going to happen, something unseen that would cause terrible effects.

-

**Yay! Sort of cliff hanger! :D Hope you all enjoyed that! **

**A little taster for next time –**

"_You called Father?" Arthur asked, looking to Uther who glanced around to him, a rare smile adorning his features._

"_Ah, Arthur, I have some excellent news."_

_**-**_

"_Arthur, Arthur can you hear me?! You have to slow your breathing down! Arthur please! Slow down."__ Merlin panicked, clutching the other tightly. "Arthur!"_

_-_

"_Well?! What's wrong with him?"_

"_I can't be sure yet Sire." _

_-_

"_I'm worried about you. Merlin, what is going on? Something is happening__ with Arthur, I can feel it, and it's making you comfortable."_

_Merlin opened his mouth, and then shook his head, putting a hand to his forehead with a smile. "Destiny?" He joked._

**-**

"_I can't breath!" Arthur chocked, clutching his neck. _

-

**Mwuhahah ! Tune in for next time, when I'm actually going to do something!**

**Please Review! :D **


	4. Breathe

**Hello! So yes, I'm back! Sorry for the delay, but I like to have at least HALF of the next chapter written before I post the next one, it makes updates quicker in general. **

**Thank you for all of the reviews I've got, they've been lovely to ready and they have really helped me keep this story going. **

**So now responses – (To prove that I have read each one, and appreciated them.)**

**Loopylion14**** – As you wish, here is an update! I'm sorry for the delay, and I hope that this chapter is up to standard. :D **

**Mimilafee**** – Hey! Don't worry if you don't understand the spell, it's not meant to be very clear, but will be explained later, have no fear. **

**Dozvoz**** – Unless you are fluent in gobbledegeek/bad latin I wouldn't expect you to understand the spell. The only reason I wrote it in Latin (some of the words) is because it was the closest thing I could find to a language that might be used for magic, of a sort. I'll probably put some Gaelic in there as well, so don't worry. The spell with be explained later. **

**Authorqueen**** – I'm glad you like this story, it makes me really happy. As for the spells they are in Latin, or more to the point have Latin words in them. If, when you are talking about translation, you want to have it for the long spell Merlin heard in his head, than I'm afraid I can't translate it yet, as it is part of the story line. As for the rest of the spells what they mean is always directly linked with what they do. If you really want the translations than I am more than happy to give them though, so just tell me. Thank you so much! :P**

**Catindahat**** – Don't go insane! It's an update, sorry that it took so long! And yes, Udovic is horrible, really horrible. As for Arthur telling Merlin…well, yes, I hope it happens soon as well, but unfortunately, Arthur's a bit of stubborn, suffer in silence type. Hope this chapter is up the standard you were hoping for.**

**Kittendragon**** – Ah yes, very protective. Unfortunately I don't think Merlin is the violent type, though, of course under certain circumstances…And rest assure Merlin is not going to be happy, not happy at all. As for Merlin sensing something is off, he does, but he doesn't know what. Poor Merlin isn't going to have it very easy.**

**Silly-Odd-Sock**** – First off that is an awesome name, and glad you like it, here's some more!**

**Semyr**** – That was an epic review, really, thank you, you don't know how much pleasure it brought me. I'm glad that I've made the interactions convincing, because I really don't like it when the characters are too out – it bugs me. Hopefully I'll be able to keep them in character as I bring them together again. As for the scene with sexual abuse I'm glad I made it convincing. I know that one of the main things people suffer from after sexual abuse is that they are horrified that some part of them enjoyed it. People believe that you're meant to hate it completely, and find no pleasure from it, which is impossible as our bodies are designed to reproduce and take pleasure from sex, no matter what. The physiological damage which that causes is often, in the case of simple sexual abuse rather than rape, the worst part of the assault. I wanted to put Arthur in that position, because he wouldn't be able to talk to anyone about it, and therefore have nobody there to tell him that it was ok, and that it wasn't his fault – which is what he needs to hear, but that he doesn't think he will. It's a vicious circle. Ahem, anyway, thank you again, sorry for the ramble.**

**Sitanya**** – Yes, I'm afraid it's all going to be rather horrible. Poor Merlin, and poor poor Arthur.**

**Eco Lin**** – Here it is! I hope you enjoy, and that it was worth the wait! Thanks for the review. **

**Ok! So now on with the story, but before I do –**

**Disclaimer – The BBC own Merlin and all of it's characters, I gain no money by using their characters, who I am abusing for story telling purposes only. **

**Enjoy!**

**-**

"You called Father?" Arthur asked, looking to Uther who glanced around to him, a rare smile adorning his features.

"Ah, Arthur, I have some excellent news." He said happily and Arthur nodded his head just as he heard loud footsteps from behind him. The Prince glanced over his shoulder to see Merlin literarily throw himself into the room, before stopping and straightening, looking a little breathless. Arthur raised his eyebrows and Merlin shrugged in response before moving to stand beside Gaius, head bent a little in embarrassment. Arthur turned his attention back to his Father who was staring to Merlin despairingly.

"What was the good news, father?" He asked, trying to distract the King from his manservant.

"I have just read the letter you presented to me, and I am pleased to announce that Udovic will be visiting Camelot." Uther beamed, looking to around to all of the gathered servants. "Lord Udovic is an honoured guest and we will treat him accordingly." He said, addressing them all on their duties.

Arthur looked the other way as his father spoke, the man's words taking much less of an effect than they should have. He felt oddly…empty at hearing this news.

Actually no, he felt quite hot. He put a finger to his collar, loosening it a little and clearing his throat as Uther continued.

"They will come with a grand party so rooms must be prepared according. I want things to be at their best, this castle will not be shamed"

Arthur cleared his throat again, rubbing his hand across his neck as he tried to take in a deeper breath. He felt a little like his lungs weren't filling with enough air, as if he really needed to yawn, but couldn't. He swallowed and tried again, quickening his breath.

But it was as if his lungs had become sponges filled with water. He coughed again, quickening his breath. Up to this point he'd been calm, deadly calm almost, but now he could feel discomfort squeezing his heart. He turned away from the court, and coughed again, hand to his throat as he bend his head down, massaging his fingers across his chest in an attempt to ease the pathway for the air. His breathing became more and more shallow however as he did, like somebody had put a pillow over his mouth.

Now he was panicking slightly. He couldn't breath. He gasped for air faster and faster, coughing and spluttering in an attempt to try and get some oxygen into his body.

The world around him began to spin and he stumbled, hunched over, sweat dotting on his forehead. He forced his lungs to work, trying to drag as much oxygen into them as he could, but it was impossible. He felt his knees hit the floor as somebody took his shoulders, calling to him desperately.

"Arthur! Arthur!?"

He shook his head in a silent attempt to beg them to get off, but instead he felt more hands reaching out for him, holding him and supporting him. He grunted, moving his hand up and pushing them all away. Arthur was finding it hard to breathe as it was, why the hell were they all crowding him?

He felt his arms suddenly fail, causing him to topple forward and instantly a hand was back on his shoulder, supporting him.

"Get back, please."

Arthur felt relief flood through him as around people moved away, leaving him draped uselessly across the speaker's shoulder. He knew the voice now – Merlin. He would have laughed at any other point, how had he not immediately recognised it? He should have heard Merlin's panic stricken rants enough times already to be able to know his voice immediately.

"Arthur, Arthur can you hear me?!"

He tried to answer that of course he could, that he wasn't a decrepit, but his throat was too tight and his concentration was more fixated on trying to get oxygen in his body. Merlin continued desperately.

"You have to slow your breathing down! Arthur please! Slow down."

And again Arthur almost laughed at the irony of the boy's words, as the Prince watched the creeping blackness from the corner of his eyes take over his vision.

Couldn't the idiot see that he could hardly breathe at all?

-

Uther paced the bedroom, panic stricken as Gaius looked over the unconscious Prince. Merlin stood at his side, worry gnawing in his chest as Arthur gave out a faint moan, twitching his head slightly. Finally the King spoke.

"Well?! What's wrong with him?"

"I can't be sure yet Sire." Gaius pulled his hand away from Arthur's forehead, looking down to the blonde who groaned again, rolling his head slightly to the side.

"He sounds like he's in pain." Merlin offered, unhelpfully causing Gaius to shoot him a look as the King quickly hurried over to his son and took a hold of his face.

"You have to find out quickly Gaius!" He ordered, looking fearful. "He's never done this before – never! Injured in battle yes, a cold yes…but to collapse! It must be a sickness."

"I will investigate Sire, but for now I might suggest that you do not stay too close."

"I can't leave my son!"

"Sire, we do not know if it is dangerous yet. It would be safer to let me diagnose him first, before allowing you to stay here." Gaius insisted. Uther looked like he was about to argue, but Arthur gave out another small moan, twitched again, hands clenched a little into fists. And for a moment Merlin was so astounded by the love in Uther's eyes when he looked to his son, the love and worry.

"Very well." Uther turned, trying to maintain his posture and stature, "Keep me regularly informed on his health."

"I will Sire."

"And Gaius."

"Yes Sire?"

"…Make him better." The King eyed the other who stared to him and nodded his head.

"I will try my best Sire."

"Good." Uther turned and left the room, closing the doors after him. Merlin looked around and then glanced to Gauis who was bending over Arthur again, examining him. Finally the older man straightened, looking over to Merlin.

"Try not to worry the King." He instructed and Merlin ducked his head a little.

"Sorry…I was just…worried myself." He admitted and Gaius's face softened with understanding. "Do you have idea what's wrong with him?"

"Perhaps an idea, but I can't be sure. Stay here and watch over him, I must go and get some things. If he takes a turn for the worse call me straight away."

"What are you going to get?"

"I must make a potion, so that if he has another attack of this sort we can calm his breathing down."

"A drug?"

"Yes." Gaius patted Merlin on the shoulder, before also leaving. "Keep an eye on him."

"I will." Merlin nodded before returning to Arthur's bedside and taking a seat. He bit his bottom lip when he looked to the Prince whose face was drawn and pale, still peppered with sweat. Arthur gave another moan, which turned into a drawn out whimper and Merlin stood, putting a towel to his forehead to wipe away the sweat. "It's ok." He assured, "You're safe, it's alright. Arthur, can you hear me?" He leant in a little, dabbing the clothe gently. "Gaius is going to find something to help just…hold on, ok?"

Arthur relaxed a little with a small mumble. There was a beat and then his eyes opened, remain wet and unfocused for a moment before sharpening.

"Merlin?" He mumbled, and the boy leant in a little more.

"You're awake!" The boy said excitedly, and then apologized as Arthur winced at his tones. "Sorry. How are you feeling?"

Arthur stared to him for a moment, before his eyes dropped closed again and he sighed. "Tired." He admitted, "What happened?"

"You collapsed in the King's court."

"I what?" Arthur's eyes burst open and he sat up quickly. Merlin caught him before he could sit up completely and gently urged him back into the covers.

"Don't move, you aren't well."

"I feel fine, what happened?" Arthur asked, fighting against Merlin who was trying with all his might to keep him down.

"I don't know." The boy admitted, "You suddenly started breathing toofast, you collapsed and then passed out."

"Oh…please no." Arthur put a hand to his head, "You have got to kidding with me…In--front of everybody?"

"Yeah."

"Oh God." Arthur despaired, and Merlin gave out a laugh. "And what exactly is so funny?"

"You scared me shitless." Merlin replied, "Suddenly doubling over like that – we all thought you had been poisoned or something. Arthur we all thought you were dying, it just came out of nowhere." He paused as Arthur stared to him, before finally lying back down, appearing utterly exhausted. "How do you really feel?"

Arthur hesitated for a moment, "Weak." He finally admitted, "Like I just ran a great distance in full battle armour."

Merlin gave a short laugh at the image of it and pulled back a little so that he was now perched on the bed next to Arthur, instead of practically straddling him to keep him down. After a moment Merlin bowed his head.

"Arthur, what happened?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know, shouldn't you be telling me that? Or Gaius, he's the physician-"

"-Arthur."

The Prince went silent for a moment and then closed his eyes. There was a beat and then he spoke again, "I couldn't breath."

"What?"

"You're saying I was breathing too fast, but to me it was like I couldn't breathe at all. I felt like my lungs were filled with water, and it got harder and harder to draw in breath."

"How long has that gone on for?"

"This is the first time." Arthur darted his eyes away, as Merlin slowly began to piece things together in his mind.

"It was after the King announced that Lord Udovic was visiting." He murmured as Arthur cleared his throat quietly, the sound uncomfortable. Merlin glanced to him. "Was that it?"

"How should I know?" Arthur asked, sitting up a little and pushing Merlin away. He suddenly sounded a little breathless again. "Just…uh…Just-" He swayed and Merlin lurched forward to grab him and stop him falling.

"Woah, woah." He soothed as Arthur began to gasp for air, "Calm down."

"Shut up...!" Arthur chocked, his breathing coming out in short sharp pants.

"You have to slow down your breathing, Arthur, please."

"I can…hardly…breath…at all!" he struggled, but Merlin wrapped his arms tightly around the others torso, holding him into place. He put a hand to his back and rubbed soothingly.

"Slow down!" He urged, "Or you'll pass out again."

"I can't breath-!"

"Yes you can, stay calm." Merlin held him tighter, his hand applying pressure to the others spine as he made Arthur feel his own chest moving, so that he could follow the pattern and gradually slow down. "Just…Hold on." Despite his words and actions panic was squeezing all of his insides and he could feel his own breathing threatening to quicken. No. he had to keep it slow for Arthur's sake.

He felt the Prince rest his head onto Merlin's shoulder, rasping and coughing as he gripped the back of Merlin's shirt, probably in a mixture of anger, and his own panic.

The door clicked open and Merlin looked around to see Gaius. "It's happening again." He said quickly and the old man nodded, moving forward and rapidly pulling from his side a small vile of liquid.

"Here Sire, drink this." He presented it and Merlin helped Arthur, who was struggling to keep himself upright, sit up. The black haired boy took the bottle and pressed it to Arthur's lips, the Prince gulping it quickly down in-between his gasps for air. When he had finished he slumped forward again, Merlin supporting him.

"Damn." The Prince muttered furiously, damp forehead pressed into the nape of Merlin's neck, "Damn, damn, dammit!"

"Just concentrate on breathing slowly Sire." Gaius suggested as Arthur's chest continued to heave. Merlin ran his hand along the boy's back again, shooting Gaius a panicked look.

Finally, after a few minutes Arthur slumped completely, his breathing back to normal and whole body exhausted.

"Shall I lay him down?"

"Better not to just yet, or he may pass out again."

"He's already passing out." Merlin indicated to Arthur who had his eyes closed, his body limp.

"No, that's just the drug taking affect…It's will relax him, send him to sleep." Gaius sighed, "It also looks like I'm going to need to make some more."

"Was that all you did?"  
"I didn't have that much time." Gaius came forward and pressed his ear to Arthur's back, listening to his heart beat. "His air way is opening up again, that is good. What on earth caused it?"

"I don't know." Merlin glanced to Arthur who mumbled something continuously in a half daze. "We were taking about the fact that Lord Udovic was coming and it started again."

"Are you sure? He didn't smell anything, have an allergic reaction?"

"No." Merlin shook his head, arms tightening slightly around Arthur as the Prince stirred a little, muttering obscenities under his breath. Merlin gave a small laugh when he realised this and looked to Arthur, "You alright?"

"What do you think?" The Prince slurred, his will the only thing that forced his diction to be half decent. Merlin laughed again and looked to Gaius,

"I know that it was talk of Udovic that caused it."

Arthur groaned again and Gaius sighed and nodded slightly. "I feared that it would be so. There is little I can do – I will make some more potion."

"Gaius." Arthur suddenly spoke, his voice weak. "You don't have to hurry." The Prince emphasized this, moving a little so that his eyes were upon the old man, sharp and dangerous, "Do you understand?"

Merlin raised his eyebrows, and looked between the two, trying to understand what was going on.

"Yes Sire, I do." Gaius paused, "I will tell your Father that your illness is not fatal but serious, and that you should avoid being seen."

Arthur paused, considering this. "It wouldn't make any difference, there's no point lying to him." He closed his eyes and rested his head back into Merlin's shoulder.

"I won't be lying Sire." Was the response and Arthur shifted a little with discomfort as Gaius stared to him, a deep worry in his eyes. "There is a truth in my words…Sire, I am not sure I understand completely, but it is irrelevant – I see your condition now and assess my judgement upon that, nothing else."

"…Thank you." Arthur said after a moment, his voice even more quiet.

Gaius nodded his head and looked to Merlin, "Stay with him."

"Of course." Merlin agreed quickly as the other left the room. Turning his attention back to Arthur, Merlin shifted a little so that he was more comfortable holding the Prince up. Arthur mumbled under his breath at this and blinked his eyes open wearily.

"How long are you going to…Hug me?" He asked roughly and Merlin gave out a small cough.

"Sorry, Um…I can put you down, if you like."

Neither moved and Arthur just gave out a long sigh, going even more, if possible, limp into Merlin's arms.

"Merlin."

"Yes?"

"If you ever speak of this to anyone…I'll have you buried alive." Arthur warned and Merlin laughed, helping Arthur lie back down onto his bed. "Get me some water, will you?"

Merlin nodded and fetched the Prince a goblet of the liquid, putting it to his lips as Arthur took a sip, before lolling his head back, fatigue clear in his eyes.

"Arthur?" Merlin spoke hesitantly after a moment.

"What?"

"Why…why does Lord Udovic's coming…why does it bother you?"

"It doesn't Merlin."

Merlin paused, and then shook his head, unable to pretend. "It does, I know it does."

Arthur opened his eyes and glared to the other. "If I tell you it doesn't than you will except that it doesn't."

"Then why else would you be like this!?"

"Because I'm unwell!" Was the sharp and angry response and Merlin suddenly was fearful that now probably wasn't the best time to be discussing the issue. He turned away and nodded slowly.

"Sorry…Yeah, I know." He kept his eyes staring straight to the floor and there was a long, uncomfortable silence and then a small sigh sounded from behind him.

"Udovic is…well, we don't always see…eye to eye." Arthur muttered, "About quite a few things…I just don't want him here…He is a good friend to my father, and a good man for all the trade he helps with, which supports our people. And in that respect I can't fault him…I just don't trust him personally, I think he prefers the idea of my father remaining on the throne forever, and me never becoming King…He just makes me have…doubts."

Merlin turned over, glancing to Arthur who was adamantly staring the other way. The black haired boy couldn't believe his ears.

Arthur? Having doubts? Merlin couldn't get his head around it; the idea was just so absurd, especially for the Prince to be having doubts about his right, and future destiny to the thrown.

"Arthur."

"What?"

"You're going to make a great King one day." Merlin said fiercely, and Arthur stared to him, surprise written across his face. And then –

"Pffft!" Arthur burst out laughing, clutching his stomach with the force of it. Merlin prickled and looked the other way, before almost smiling slightly.

"Merlin, you really are an idiot."

"Yeah, thank you." He drew his mouth into a line and then stood, going to refill Arthur's cup. Behind him Arthur lay back into the pillows, still chuckling, seeming to be much more relaxed. "Do you need anything?"

"A little quiet." Was the response, but Arthur was smiling and Merlin detected no venom in his words.

"Alright." Merlin came back and put the goblet on the Prince's bedside. Arthur had his eyes closed and his breathing was slower – the drug had taken it's hold.

The door suddenly burst open as Morgana and Gwen rushed in, both looking upset.

"Merlin, is it true, has Arthur collapsed!?" Morgana asked quickly before spotting Arthur in the bed behind, his face still pale and drawn, though complexion a little improved. She put a hand to her mouth, "Oh God."

"It's ok." Merlin quickly assured, lowering his voice as the Prince stirred a little, but didn't surface from his slumber. "Gaius has just given him some medicine, he's resting."

Gwen came up behind her mistress, looking to Arthur carefully before looking to Merlin. "Is he alright?" She asked, her voice gentle but filled with worry. "What happened?"

Merlin bit his bottom lip, "We're not sure yet, he suddenly had great difficulty breathing in the King's court, and then again a few moments ago…They seemed to be linked with-…" He stopped himself.

"With what? What Merlin?" Morgana asked, her usual firm outer shell vanished, revealing her true feelings and care for the Prince, who had grown up practically as her brother.

"Um…It seemed to be linked with similar cases within the country." He replied, "He probably got it on his journey back, from the cold."

Gwen eyed Merlin carefully, "Are you sure?"

"Positive…in-fact, he might have been coming down with it even before he left Camelot." Merlin nodded, trying to strengthen his lie.

"Well, he had lost his appetite a little." Gwen admitted and Merlin almost sighed with relief as they both began to nod, considering the excuse as valid. "Does Gaius have the cure?"

"He's working on it." Merlin nodded, "But for now I have to insist that you don't get too close – we're not sure if it can spread yet."

"What about you and Gaius?" Morgana asked and Merlin shrugged.

"We'll be fine. It's Gaius's job to deal with the sick, and it's mine to deal with him." He nodded loyally and Morgana and Gwen exchanged glances, and then smiles.

"Ok then…just as long as you promise he's not going to die."

"Not before he's King." Merlin replied and Morgana nodded, casting her eyes down.

"Thank you Merlin." She replied, "You're a good friend."

Turning she went to go, looking over her shoulder to see Gwen lingering for a moment. The maid shuffled her feet and then clutched Merlin's hands in hers, looking deep into his eyes.

"What you were speaking about before to me." She began, choosing her words carefully, "I won't ask, or discuss it. Just…just do what you can."

"I will."

Gwen smiled and turning she left, following after Morgana out of Arthur's chambers. Merlin looked down to his hands, tightening them a little into fists as he closed his eyes.

Going back toward Arthur's bed he sat down on the floor beside it, leaning his back against the mattress.

Holding his fingers out in-front of him he examined them carefully, deep in thought as the words that he had heard playing in his head replayed in his memory.

'_Juramentum, Arthur Pendragon ous tutela, ni purus moestita, adamans ferox.'_

The black haired boy closed his eyes and trying to figure out their meaning, their purpose, he didn't understand enough about the old religion to be able to decipher for it. All he knew was that it wasn't a spell, enchantment or curse. So what was it then?

'_A prayer.'_

The idea struck him and he raised his eyebrows, surprised but suddenly sure that this was the case.

'_So why did I hear it?'_

He wondered before shrugging and glancing around to Arthur who slept peacefully, face regaining a little of its colour. He stared to him, turning around fully so that he could watch him a little bit more comfortably.

"Juramentum, Arhur Pendragon ous tutela, ni purus moestita, adamans ferox." He repeated from memory before pausing and tilting his head to one side. For some reason when he said it, it sounded incomplete. He searched in his heart for how best to finish it, thinking hard, until a few words came to his lips. "Ego dos Juramentum Arthur ous tutela est." He said, and then cried out as a searing pain burst through his head again. "Ah!" He fell to the floor, clutching his skull and gasping in agony as it spread out quickly, reaching into his toes. He felt like he was being burnt from the inside, his whole body breaking out in sweat as he twitched, going into spasm, his teeth bared as he forced back the need to shout. He gripped the carpet in-between his fingers and screwed his eyes shut, begging internally for it to all end.

From behind him he heard Arthur shift in his sleep, mumbling. "Merlin." He called faintly, probably dreaming that the other had done something stupid again. And the moment the name left the Prince's lips it was as if Merlin had been released from the clutches of death. The pain vanished as if it had never been and he fell limp against the floor, breathing hard, staring panicked up to the ceiling. "Merlin." Arthur called again, rolling to his side. His eyes opened a sliver and he stared down to his servant sprawled out across the floor. Half asleep he raised his eyebrows. "What're you doing?" He slurred, incoherently.

"…Cleaning?" Merlin replied back and Arthur snorted and closed his eyes again, instantly falling back into slumber. Merlin stared to him and then looked toward the door, forcing himself into a seated position. That had been strange…very strange, in-fact it had been more than just that, it had been terrifying and Merlin could still feel himself shaking from the shock and pain of it all.

Putting his head in his hands he gasped for air quietly, still shivering as if he were cold. Silently, in his mind he tried to piece it all together, tried to figure out why it had happened. But he couldn't, it was as clear as mud.

Giving out a faint moan he ran his hands through his hair as the door opened again.

"Merlin?" He looked up to see Gaius standing there, the old man crossed over quickly and came and knelt beside the boy. "What is it? Are you alright?"

"…" Merlin looked to him, and then gave him a watery smile, nodding, "Yeah…I just…yeah, sorry, maybe I'm coming down with something." He stood, looking to Arthur, and quickly changing the conversation from his own state. "The drugs taken it's affect, how long will he be out for?"

"The rest of the night." Gaius replied, "Hopefully anyway." The old man regarded Merlin carefully, "Perhaps you should also get an early night."

"Yeah." Merlin nodded quickly, "I think…yes, that would be a good idea." He looked to the floor, "Gaius."

"Yes?"

"…Do you know anything about…Prayers?"

"Prayers?"

"Yes…of the old religion?" Merlin replied and the other stared to him, eyes narrowed.

"Why on earth would you want to know about that?"

"Just…wondering."

"Hmm…I'm afraid I don't." He admitted after a long moment, his suspicion disappearing with the defeat of his lack of knowledge. "Was it important?"

"No…just a passing thought. I'm going to go now."

-

'_Here I am again.'_

Merlin despaired, holding up the flaming torch as he looked deep into the cave around him. The Dragon raised it's head, almost seeming to smirk. **"Ah, the young Warlock returns."**

"I wanted…needed to talk to you."

"**I already guessed that that would be the case. Go on then, what has threatened Camelot this time?"**

Merlin bit his bottom lip, still feeling a little woozy and sat down, leaning against the back of the wall, he held the torch out in-front of him, illuminating his fatigued face.

"Nothing I…I just want to know about the Prayers of the old religion." He replied, as the dragon stared to him, studying his face with it's piercing eyes. It suddenly let out a long laugh.

"**It seems that your destiny has finally begun young Warlock, you have assured your path, taken your oath."**

"What? What are you talking about? What oath?"

"**The oath to protect the young Pendragon, of course."**

"I decided long ago that I would protect Arthur." Merlin called back, and the Dragon laughed at his ignorance. "Why are you laughing!?"

"**You have taken an oath**** of magic to protect Arthur, it is an oath bound through the old religion. And he has accepted you."**

"What? What do you mean?"

"**You will learn in time the true power of your promise."**

"Hey! Wait! Please explain it to me, I still don't understand!" He called as the Dragon arched upward, flapping it's long wings and taking off upward, as it usually did to finish the conversation. Merlin cursed, shouting after him, standing as he did. "Why won't you ever give me any answers!?"

"**You already know the answer, young Warlock."** Was the reply, before the dragon disappeared from sight.

Merlin stared after him and sighed, putting a hand to his head and turning. He had to go to bed.

-

Six hours later Merlin appeared from his room into Gaius's chambers, rubbing his forehead once more and clutching his jacket. Gaius looked up to him and stood, observing the boy.

"Can you not sleep?"

"…I'm going to stay in Arthur's chambers." He replied with fatigue, "I'll sleep better in there."

"What, on the floor?" Gaius came forward, "Are you sure I can't just give you a sleeping draught? Merlin, you look positively exhausted, you've hardly slept at all these last few days."

"Gaius…I haven't been able to, and can't sleep because I'm worried about him." Merlin replied and the older man's mouth drew into a line.

"And I'm worried about both of you. Merlin, what is going on? Something is happening, I can feel it, and it's making you uncomfortable."

Merlin opened his mouth, and then shook his head. "Destiny?" He tried and then gave a short laugh, "I don't know…All I know is that something is happening to Arthur, and I have to help him."

"Merlin-"

"-It's not just about the future of Camelot…or some promise I made, or a path I'm meant to take…I'm doing it because he's my friend, because I want to."

Gaius sighed and came forward putting his arm around Merlin, "Alright. Just don't push yourself, you have enough things on your shoulders…And Merlin, I hope you can help him."

"Me too." Merlin nodded, and with that he turned and left, heading for the doorway and down to the stairs toward the castle, trying to cheer himself up as he walked.

After all, stubborn as Arthur was, how hard would it be to solve this riddle?

'_All I have to do…is figure out how big an __effect Udovic has on Arthur, how he does it and how in hell's name I can stop it without being thrown into jail, or executed….This should be fun.'_

He sighed.

-

**Done! Thank you for reading, and please review! That would be grand! So now, a little teaser for our next instalment – **

_Arthur looked to him, taking in the dark circles around the others eyes, and the white, almost sickly complexion. _

'_Has he been sleeping on my floor all night?'_

_**-**_

"_So…is that what I am to you? A disobedient nothing?"_

"_Merlin, you are my servant. You should obey me, you should follow all of the rules I set out for you, and you should learn your place." There was a beat, "But you are also my friend."_

_-_

"_Merlin!" Gaius ran to his fallen ward, "Merlin! What is it?"_

"_My head…" Merlin gasped, clutching his hand hard to his eyes and crying out, "Someone's screaming…in my head!"_

_-_

"_Something is going on, and I'm going to find out Arthur, so don't pretend like you can hide it away forever! I know! I know that you-"_

"_-You know nothing!"_

"_Yet!"_

"_Get out!" Arthur slammed his goblet to the floor, "Get out! And don't come back! Get out! Get out!"_

_-_

"_**It hurts, young Warlock, not because of some spell. It is because you have fallen further into your destiny than even you planned, you love Arthur."**_

"_You're lying! That arrogant bastard, how could anybody ever love him!?"_

"_**How? As you do now."**_

"_You're lying! Shut up! You're lying!"_

_-_

"_Merlin." Arthur gasped, his breathing panicked and face ashen. He gripped the covers in his fists, knuckles white from the grip. "Don't leave. Don-"_

"_-I'm not going anywhere, Arthur, what is it?"_

"_Help. You've got to-" The rest was lost in a rant of incomprehensible words, as Arthur struggled, Merlin holding onto him desperately. The Prince was still asleep. _

_-_

"_Udovic will fall, I just have to endure him until I can find a reason to bring him down and when I do…Oh, when I do...!"___


	5. Pain

**Hello! Update here at last! **

**Now a note before I go into my usual rant and that is that I've started back in school again, so I have to warn that updates may be coming in a little slower. I will try to keep things steady, but please forgive me if I can't. **

**On that note I would like to say a huge thank you to all of you who have been helping me keep this going with your reviews. As I am trying to make a habit out of this I have written below my replies to your kind words!**

**Eco Lin**** – I am thrilled you approve of my dragon! Really if you ask me all he does is give vague responses and mock Merlin, I think they're his only real pleasures anymore in life. I hope you like this chapter, as I promise you some sweetness in it!**

**Loopylion14 ****– Well I hope this chapter manages to outdo the last one! It's was a lot of fun to right, so I'm really hoping people will enjoy it. As for the little preview things at the end I thought I would do it like in the actual episodes where you have the little thingy at the end. **

**Grammophone**** - :D Protection indeed! And yes, I try to have long chapters rather than short, otherwise it breaks things up a little. Enjoy!**

**Catindahat**** – Mwuhaha, I'm going to make things a lot worse for Arthur before they get better!**

**Authorqueen**** – Haha, shame on you for looking it up! But no, don't worry. If you want to know the exact meaning than I suggest looking through the chapters again carefully, where you will find the translation in English! But with it will come a spoiler, so be careful! :D**

**FireChildSlytherin5**** – I thank you!**

**Peanutmeg**** – Aaw, thanks. Merlin fandom is pretty addictive though, non?**

**Mimilafee ****– Ah, my loyal reviewer! Thank you once again for you words of praise! I'm glad I'm managing to make Arthur seem realistic, because you're right, imagining him with a weakness is difficult. The effects of this kind of sexual abuse can fit with his character however, because it's not something which would be paraded around, or would be obvious unless certain situations were to occur. Thanks again, hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**IsabelEmrys**** – Sorry it took so long, here's the update! Hope you enjoy! **

**Ok! So with that done I shall continue. Some of you may have noticed but this chapter is actually a little longer than the others, by at least eight pages, so I hope that you all enjoy!**

**Warning – Blood, and gore (only a little, but best said anyway) And sexual-ish scene.**

**Disclaimer – The Merlin I am basing this fanfic off belongs to the BBC, Merlin, Arthur, and co themselves belong to English folklore, myth, legend and story…So I can use them any time I please!!!...Though, that said, despite this…I am stealing the BBC ones, so there you go. Don't own, don't sue!**

**Enjoy!**

**-**

Arthur rolled over with a low groan, his eyes fluttering half open as he looked to the ripples spread across his pillows. With another small moan he raised his head and glanced around his room. He felt tired, but well rested at the same time, which was an odd change to how he normally felt when he had to get up to do his various duties… He narrowed his eyes, trying to figure this out. He normally felt tired when he had to get up to do his duties, which meant that something was different today.

Groaning he put a hand to his head as he realised exactly why he felt so rested – he hadn't had to get up to _do_ his duties.

Shaking his head he shifted to the edge of his bed, ready to swing himself up right and get out. However something stopped him before you he could, and he raised his eyebrows to the sleeping form that lay on his carpet.

With his dark hair sticking up from lying back, he was curled on his side, his blanket tucked under his chin but still managing to fold up around his ears, making him look somewhat like some little animal in hibernation. Merlin breathed out slowly, his pale skin broken only by a gentle stubble which was beginning to form on his chin, the only thing which was severing his appearance away from the otherwise innocent childlike image.

Arthur looked to him, taking in the dark circles around the others eyes, and the white, almost sickly complexion.

'_Has he been sleeping on my floor__ all night?'_

Concerned he furrowed his brow, though his expression showed little other signs of upset, even if he felt it inside. He had been taught to school his expressions of caring and affection from a young age, done so that he could protect himself from possible outside attackers who might see weaknesses in his otherwise unfaltering resolution.

In the privacy of his chambers he allowed himself however to lapse, feeling secure enough that nobody was watching him. Gently he lowered his hand to touch the top of Merlin's head, moving down to his shoulder and shaking him. "Merlin." He called, his voice a lot weaker than he liked. He cleared his throat and tried again, speaking a little clearer, but just as quietly. "Merlin, wake up."

The other stirred, muttering in sleep and Arthur gently touched the back of his hand to Merlin's forehead, feeling for a temperature. He was a little warm, but Arthur wasn't sure if that was the result of Arthur's own fingers being cold, or the other actually having a fever. "Merlin." He called again, "Wake up." He shook his shoulder a little more forcibly this time and Merlin's eyes opened. The black haired boy blinked, letting out a long whine as he looked about the room for the cause of disturbance. Finally he looked directly above him, and stopped dead, staring up into the Prince's eyes. He didn't speak, just stared, looking a mixture of both startled and frightened.

Unable to hold back his concern at his lack of verbal response Arthur leant down further, his eyes straying all over Merlin in search for signs of illness. "Are you alright?" He asked gently and Merlin's eye broke away from his own, finally focusing on the whole of Arthur's face, before laughing. He sat up, running his hands through his hair as Arthur pulled back, so that he was lying on his front, half covered by his quilt, and head cushioned in his arms.

"Isn't it me who should be asking that?"

"I'm not the one stupid enough to sleep on the floor."

"Yeah, well sorry about that, but I wasn't sure how kindly you would have taken to finding me asleep in your bed." Merlin responded quickly, before yawning. Arthur grunting, having too agree with this statement, before he too gave a yawn, rolling on to his back and stretching as Merlin spoke, "How are you doing this morning?"

"I feel better…a lot better." Arthur admitted, "What did Gaius give me?"

"Just a drug to help you relax and sleep." Merlin replied, flopping back onto the floor.

"Hm, well it did the trick. I don't think I've slept that well in weeks." Arthur shifted over so that he was on the edge of the bed and able to look down to Merlin with more ease. "Perhaps you should ask Gaius to give you some."

"Hmm." Merlin hummed his agreement, "Though your floor is surprisingly comfortable, I could get used to it."

"For God sake Merlin please, I feel uncomfortable just looking at you."

"I'm used it." Merlin shrugged and Arthur paused, the huge differences and divide between them and their social status once more revealing itself, like an old wound opening. "Do you want me to get you breakfast?"

Arthur considered it for a moment and then shook his head. For just a moment he wanted to stay like this. He didn't want to get up, or move, and he just wanted Merlin to remain where he was, and for the two of them to talk. He had, after all, really missed him during his visit to Lamporth. Missed abusing him.

"Are you sure? Do you not have an appetite?" Merlin sat up and Arthur moaned. He hated all the movement – he just wanted the other to keep still for a moment.

"Honestly Merlin, you're worse than Gwen, I'm fine. I just don't to want get up yet, now would you stop moving around and stay still? You're making me…nervous."

"Nervous?"

"No, not nervous, just… - look, just stay still, you're annoying me."

"Alright, alright, I'm lying back down." Merlin pulled a face of mock submission and lay back down onto the floor, staring up to Arthur with his eyebrows raised. Arthur got the distinct feeling he was being regarded as a freak and he gave out an angry growl and spoke quickly.

"Look, I'm still tired and you running around, and constantly fidgeting makes me even more tired. So would you please, please not?"

"…Ok, I won't." Merlin replied and Arthur gave out a long sigh relaxing and staring to the other. After a long silence the Prince grumbled.

"Talk."

"What? I thought you said-"

"-I said stop moving, but it is still within your capabilities to talk." The other replied, "Although this is quite amazing, I don't think I've ever seen you stay silent for such a long time."

"I have too!"

"When?"

"…" Merlin paused, "There have been times." He insisted and Arthur laughed, shaking his head.

"You can't name any."

"That's because…it wouldn't be appropriate to name those incidents right now." He replied and Arthur suddenly understood. He did remember times, bad times when Merlin would go quiet, his face showing that beneath he was thinking of dark subjects, things that greatly troubled him in the times of danger, or indeed, sometimes when there was no clear explanation what so ever. Arthur realised that Merlin was right in the respect that it wouldn't be a good idea to mention them. Slowly the Prince nodded, before giving his servant a shrug.

"Alright, so you can stay silent for a little while…but it never lasts for long."

"That's because you always order me to speak."

"So what if I do?"

"Well, you can hardly blame me if I do then? Can you? How am I supposed to win, you get annoyed with me if I'm talking, and scold me when I'm silent."

"Who said that I got annoyed when you talked?"  
"You do! You tell me all the time how annoying it is-"

"-I prefer it." Arthur replied, and Merlin cut out, staring to him silently. "When you don't talk it's because you're…bothered by something."

There was a long pause, and then "Arthur?"

"What?" Arthur looked back over to him frowning and winced as he saw that Merlin was grinning.

"Are you being nice to me?"

"What is that meant to mean?"

"You get concerned when I'm upset-"

"-I didn't say that-"

"-And you don't like it-"

"-Now you're putting words in my mouth-"

"-So you resolve it in the only way you can. You pull out your Princely title and order me to talk."

"…" Arthur sulked, rolling away as he listened to Merlin laughing. "Well it works." He barked and the other's laughter got louder before eventually subduing. There was a long pause and then the black haired boy spoke softly, his voice barely carrying over the top of the bed.

"Arthur…Thank you."

The Prince sighed, and then smiled, feeling a sad, rather unexplainable feeling crawl through his chest. "You're welcome."

"…" He heard Merlin shift, and when he glanced back he saw that the other had sat up, and propped himself up on the side of the Prince's bed. "Arthur?"

"What is it now, Merlin?"

"…I know this might not be the right time to bring it up, but I've been thinking a lot about what you said…before you left."

"Oh yes?"

"Was it all true?"

Arthur considered this for a moment, "Yes." He responded.

"So…is that what I am to you? A disobedient nothing?"

"Merlin, you are my servant. You should obey me, you should follow all of the rules I set out for you, and you should learn your place." There was a beat, "But you are also my friend." He looked over to the other, catching his eyes, "And the two jobs do clash a little. Look, I know I got angry, and what I said was true of a servant, but I understand why you were angry…because I exploit you mostly to do the second of your services, and my treatment of you in that was…wrong."

"Are you apologising to me?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself."

"Sorry." Merlin smiled and snuggled his head a little lower into Arthur's quilt, looking suddenly very sleepy again. Arthur sighed and closed his eyes, moving so that he was once more lying on his front, sprawled over the bed.

There was a sudden knock on the door and the Prince groaned and covered his head with a pillow. He heard Merlin get up and open the door, speaking to the new comer who Arthur identified as Gaius from his voice.

"How is he this morning?"

"Better." Merlin replied as Arthur peaked out, looking around, aware that his hair was sticking up at odd angles. Gaius gave a small bow.

"Good morning my Lord, Merlin tells me you're condition has improved."

"I feel better, whatever you gave me really helped." He nodded, sitting up as Gaius approached, touching his hand to Arthur's forehead.

"Hmm, you have a fever." The older man noted and Arthur raised his eyebrows, surprised.

"I don't feel bad, or hot…If anything a little cold."

"That is normally how it starts." Gaius replied, "Have you had any other symptoms?"

"No." Arthur replied, still rather thrown off by the information that he was suffering from a fever at all, he felt absolutely fine. Perhaps Gaius was wrong? "I really feel alright."

"It would be better if you stayed in bed."

"But honestly I-"

"-Really, it would be better Sire. You're father would be very distraught if you over exerted yourself and this illness took a turn for the worse." Gaius insisted, "If you rest now you may be well enough to greet Lord Udovic when he comes."

Instantly, as if he had taken a blow Arthur felt dizzy, and his temper flared with anger. He had almost forgotten, almost blanked the fact that that man was coming to Camelot. Growling he massaged his temples, suddenly feeling the first prickles of a headache beginning to press against the inside of his skull, and the back of his eyes.

"Merlin get some water." Gaius seemed to order from far away as Arthur fought to keep his temperament in check.

"When is he coming?" He asked, forcing his voice out.

"He is meant to arrive tomorrow Sire."

"Damn, that's not enough time – I don't have enough time to prepare." He muttered to himself between clenched teeth. "No matter, I'll have to deal with it."

"Arthur…maybe if you think Udovic is bad news, you should tell the King?" Merlin suggested and Arthur's eyes opened with a flash.

"No!" He shouted, "Absolutely not!"

Merlin leapt back with shock at this sudden change in temper and Arthur fought to regain his control, gulping down a lungful of air.

"My father can't know." He responded, "He would see it as a weakness, and a totally unreasonable one at that. And even if he didn't, and he saw the truth he would act too quickly…Udovic is very important for trade, and if my Father were to do anything rash than there would be big problems not only for us, but for the whole of Camelot."

"But what has Udovic done?"

"Nothing." Arthur snapped, and the sighed, "It doesn't matter…I'm just going to have to grin and live with it. As long as Cecilia is coming too than it will be just about bearable."

"Cecilia?" Merlin frowned to this, and Gaius explained.

"Lord Udovic's wife."

"Oh." Merlin nodded with understanding, and for one moment a strange looked crossed his face, before disappearing almost instantly away. "I see."

Arthur looked between the two, watching them carefully. "You can't breath a word of this insecurity to anyone, do you both understand?"

They looked to one another and nodded simultaneously. "Yes Sire."

"Good." Arthur paused, "…Please leave now."

"Yes Sire." Both stood, Merlin looking a great deal more reluctant than Gaius who, having been a servant for much longer, was well practised in obeying orders. They both left promptly, Merlin seeming to 'forget' to pick up his blanket and pillow from the floor, providing an excellent reason to return at a later stage. Arthur smiled slightly at that, Merlin wasn't always an idiot.

The Prince watched the door long after they had gone, staring to the wood blankly as his mind spun with thoughts. Not that there was really anything to think about – he didn't have a choice, he didn't have any way to defend himself that didn't involve being a coward and hiding away.

'_I'll have to face him, as I have always done. It's the same as every other time, it's the same as it's always been…__so why am I reduced to this state now?'_

He thought, staring forward, his fists clenching. He knew exactly why he was reduced to this state – because he had lapsed, he had failed…

"_There is hope after all."_

Arthur growled, throwing himself out of the bed and pacing to the other end of the room. He reached the table, slammed his hands down on it and bowed his head, his breathing a little rushed again, but he calmed himself down.

'_There is nothing I can do. Yes, I may have lapsed, I may have given him a reaction…but I was drunk, I was cornered and what he did…'_

Arthur began to feel a little light headed and leaned even more heavily on the table, trying not to gag.

"What have I done?" The Prince asked himself quietly, before glancing out of the window to the wet landscape outside. He stared out toward it and suddenly seemed to find some sort of strange strength…no, perhaps not strength, but a peace, an emptiness which made him straighten, made him remember who he was. The future King of Camelot, the Prince.

And suddenly he was really thinking again, thinking about exactly what he was, the true cause behind some of his arrogance, his pride. His fingers clenched a little into fists, and he breathed out slowly, drawing himself up to his full height.

"I let myself forget…" He muttered, "But I won't ever again. Udovic will fall, I just have to endure him until I can find a reason to bring him down and when I do…Oh, when I do...!"

-

Merlin sighed, rolling his shoulder as he walked into the courtyard, yawning. He had just finished helping Gaius get some ingredients for Arthur's medicine which had now been complete and had been given the rest of the day off. He was planning to go give Arthur his next dose and check up on him. After all the Prince was likely to either be asleep or out of his mind with boredom.

"Get your sword higher!" A voice suddenly called and Merlin froze mid-step. He recognised that voice – he would recognise it anywhere.

"Arthur!?" he turned on his heal, looking around desperately. He had definitely heard the Prince's voice, but how could that be? Arthur was meant to be up in bed recovering, there was no way that he would be out now, there was no way he was stupid enough-

"Parry! Good! Come again!"

"That damned arrogant-…!" Merlin turned completely, marching down the stairs again so that he could loop around to the training grounds. Honestly – was Arthur an idiot!? He had hardly been able to breathe yesterday during his 'attack' (as Gaius called it) and already he was jumping around with his sword again?

'_That's the Prince's priorities for you.'_

Merlin thought bitterly, sometimes wishing that Arthur would take care of himself when it was _actually_ important to do so. The black haired boy had to give a smile to that thought though, after all Arthur's kindness and self sacrifice in these situations was a redeeming feature really, considering his arrogance and selfishness at other times.

The training grounds came into sight and Merlin's heart sank as he looked to Arthur who was standing right in the middle taking part in a one on one duel…without his helmet on.

"Arthur!" Merlin called approaching, interrupting the duel as both fighters straightened to this summons.

"Ah, Merlin, there you are. I need you to clean out my horses for me-"

"-Already done it." He replied instantly, "What are you doing out?"

"Then you can go and do it again." Arthur ignored his question. "I want it fit to sleep in, because if it isn't guess where you'll be staying tonight to learn your lesson?"

"Alright, ok." Merlin nodded, "Speaking of sleeping, isn't that what you should be doing?" He added and saw Arthur glare to him, his eyes piercing.

"Late for me afternoon nap, am I Merlin?" He asked.

"Yes, my lord." Merlin replied calmly, his gaze never faltering as the Prince death stared him. There was a long silence and then Arthur folded his arms.

"Was there anything else, Merlin?" He asked, voice harsh and commanding and Merlin couldn't help but wince at it. Slowly he turned away, shacking his head.

"No." He replied, before stopping and holding up the bottle of medicine that Gaius had just given him. "At least take this? It'll stop what happened yesterday happening again."

Arthur glared to him, and then paused, as if considering it. Finally he put out his hand, much to Merlin's relief, and took the bottle from his servant.

Eyeing Merlin, Arthur brought the potion to his mouth and drank it down. It was only when he'd finished it that Merlin allowed himself to physically relax – no going back now.

Arthur brought the bottle down and stared to Merlin carefully licking the last of the drop of the potion from his lips, before throwing the vile to the other. "Anything else?"

"No." Merlin replied, unmoving.

"Aright then…You can go." Arthur prompted and Merlin nodded, still remaining where he was.

"I will." He replied, "In a minute."

"Fine, or you could go now – you're in the way."

"Trust me when I say that you'll be glad I'm standing here in a second."

"Hah, that's great Merlin, now please…Could…you…would you go?" Arthur blinked a little, his face changing to an expression of confusion as he stumbled over his words a little.

"Of course, just give it a few seconds." Merlin smiled as Arthur's frown deepened. The Prince touched a hand to his forehead, blinked a couple of times and stumbled to the side. He opened his mouth, to try and say something to Merlin, and then dropped like a stone. Merlin dove to catch him and with the help of some of the other knights, who ran from the side, lowered him to the floor. "See, told you." He shrugged as the knights looked to him.

"What's wrong with the Prince?" They asked, clearly deeply upset. Most of them hadn't seen Arthur drink the potion, and none of them knew what it was.

"He's sick." Merlin replied, "We need to get him back up to his chambers, now."

"Of course. Shall one of us fetch the physician Gaius?"

"No, that's alright." Merlin replied, receiving several strange looks. The boy paused and rethought his answer, "Gaius was planning on visiting the Prince in his chambers at any moment – he sent me ahead to make sure that everything was alright. Arthur isn't meant to the up."

The Knights all looked to one another and decided that this sounded valid enough as they helped lift the Prince who was rapidly becoming catatonic. Though, not enough, mind, to stop him glaring, with half lidded eyes, to Merlin and mouthing, disturbingly clearly the words 'I am going to disembowel you.' Merlin winced.

Carefully Arthur was lifted up, much to his obvious horror and fury, and carried up to the castle. Merlin walked by his side and announced to stunned onlookers that the Prince was fine, and that he was going to be ok.

By the time they made it to his room Arthur was barely conscious, and not only that, he appeared to have silently vowed to himself to beat the living day lights out of Merlin the moment he could move again. The manservant was beginning to wonder if risking his life to bring the Prince back up to his room was worth it.

"Gaius will be here any minute." Merlin said as the Knight's looked around Arthur's room. "Don't worry, he's taught me what to do in these situations, the Prince will be fine."

Carefully the Knights all glanced to each other and the nodded, moving to leave after giving a quick bow to the Prince who was laid on the bed.

When they were finally alone Merlin sighed and relaxed a little moving to Arthur's side and looking down to him. Arthur seemed to have gained enough strength to open his eyes and glare back. He was fighting off the medicine with all his might.

"How dare you."

"It was better than you suffering another attack like yesterday in-front of all your knights."

"So you had me collapse instead!?" Arthur's rant turned into a cough, and Merlin came forward, helping him to prop himself up a little as Arthur cleared his air way. "I felt fine!"

"But you weren't fine. Gaius said you had a fever."

"Gaius was wrong." Arthur replied back stubbornly, and Merlin rolled his eyes and pulled back. "And you just tricked me, insulted me, and shamed me all in one Merlin."

"It was for the best."

"I decide that! Not you!" The Prince shouted, "You have played me up as weak-"

"-You don't look weak! You're sick, for God's sake Arthur!"

"I do! I went out there to training and said I was fine, you have made me look like a stubborn, thoughtless idiot."

"You are a stubborn thoughtless idiot!"

"No, no I am not! I would have only been if there was actually something wrong with me, which there wasn't until you drugged me!" He bellowed furiously, "How long do you think it will be before they show me respect, and stop treating me like glass again!?"

Merlin opened his mouth, closed it, and then finally found his voice, "They…They respect you Arthur, they know how strong you are. They won't think differently of you, they have the Knight's honour to obey-"

"-I'm the future King of Camelot Merlin, I am the exception for everything. Don't you understand that?" He closed his eyes, "I can't prove my strength enough times, I can't show bravery enough times, or recklessness…I can't do anything enough times for people to be able to see me as something different."

"Arthur, you don't have to prove yourself to them-"

"-You don't think so? I have to lead them, and I don't want to do that just because I was born with authority, I want well earned respect….But maybe you're right, I don't have prove myself, not to them – but to myself, to my father, to Udovic."

"Udovic?" Merlin blinked and immediately he saw Arthur stiffen. "Why would you have to prove yourself to Lord Udovic?"

"It's the only way to – It's none of your business."

"No, no – tell me. It's the only way to, what? Defeat him? Prove him wrong?" Merlin leant in a little, he was treading dangerous ground.

"Leave it Merlin."

"Tell me."

"Are you ordering me?"

"No – Arthur, please, I want to help you." Merlin pleaded and Arthur gave him the most furious glare that he actually flinched and pulled back.

"_You_ want to help _me_? _You_!? You have just brought me _down_, you have _destroyed_ my chance of finally have justice. And now you want to _help me_!?"

Merlin backed away, "What are you talking about?"

"A reaction! I gave him a reaction! I played along into his sick game, and gave him something, a weakness. My only way to live through that, to beat him was to find strength again, to remind myself of who I was and to get out of this bed and be that person. And what did you have to go and do!? Shame me in-front of my men, rip my chances away, and bring me right back to this hellhole, where it all started!" Arthur ranted, and finally stopped, his breathed ragged and furious. "Just shut up Merlin, because there is nothing you can do."

"…" Merlin stared in horrified silence to this, and then bowed his head. However he didn't leave, because something painful was burning in his stomach, a painful stubbornness that told him that he couldn't leave. Not now. Not when the Prince actually needed him so much. "Arthur?"

"What?!"

"…Tell me what's going on."

"Nothing is Merlin." The other growled, "It doesn't matter."

"It does…All that, that you just said,…you're in pain, what ever Udovic has done to you, it's causing you to be physically ill."

"_Lord_ Udovic has done nothing to me. Now kindly leave me alone."

"No."

"I'm sorry, what?" Arthur arched his eyebrows.

"I said no. I'm not going."

"Leave. Right now." It was a dangerous growl.

"I already said, I won't." Merlin stood his ground, despite the fact that he could see the other's temper rising dangerously. "Not until I find out what's going on."

"Nothing is going on Merlin, now get out."

"You can't hide this from me."

"There is nothing to hide, and even if there was, it would be none of your damned business! Get out, right now."

"I'm staying."

"Why do you have to be so difficult!?" Arthur shouted, "I will have you thrown into the dungeon unless you obey me."

Merlin faulted for a moment, took in a deep breath and drew himself up to his full height. "Go ahead then." He replied, "I won't leave you."

Arthur growled, and then with a flurry of movement he threw back the covers and stood. Merlin panicked and dove to catch him as the other stumbled but Arthur's will and determination brought back his strength and he shoved Merlin off, preferring to lean into the wall instead.

"Arthur, stop this! Get back into the bed."

"I wasn't aware that you have authority over me." Arthur replied moving toward the table and leaning heavily on it. He grabbed his goblet with a shacking hand and down the liquid inside of it, trying to wash down the potion, no doubt.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn!?"

"Because I can!" Was the angry response, "So why don't you be a good example and leave me alone! Maybe I can learn a thing from you."

"I'm not leaving."

"Well then, aren't you the very example of hypocorism!? If you don't leave, I'm not getting back into that bed."

"I'm not leaving!"

"Than I am very well standing up." Was the spat response and Merlin despaired.

"I can't leave you Arthur! Do you know how worried I am!?"

"_Worried_!? You're such a _girl_ Merlin!"

"I'm serious! Something is seriously wrong here Arthur, and I want to help you."

"The only thing that is seriously wrong here, Merlin, is your lack of ability to obey orders!" Arthur roared.

"I'm saying this as your friend."

"I forfeit you from having that right!" Arthur replied and Merlin moved back, as if he was stung. The strange pain in his stomach twisted again and he felt his own temper really beginning to peek.

"Something is going on, and I'm going to find out Arthur, so don't pretend like you can hide it away forever! I know! I know that you-"

"-You know nothing!"

"Yet!"

"Get out!" Arthur slammed his goblet to the floor, "Get out! And don't come back! Get out! Get out! You are no friend of mine, do you understand!? I don't ever want to see you here again! **Get out**!"

Merlin stared to him, his cheeks painted red with anger, and then turning he stormed out of the room, the Prince's words still ringing into his ears.

-

Merlin was halfway down the stairs when the pain in his stomach was finally so great it crippled him. Bending over he clutched his midriff, gasping for air as he sought the wall, eyes closed, for support.

When he found it he slid to the floor, trying desperately to hold everything into place. He felt like something had been ripped out, one of his organs maybe, and the pain was firey hot and burning. Covering his eyes he fought back the tears which were threatening to spill, the pain was so great he was barely holding his voice down either. If it got any worse he would be screaming.

Gasping in huge gulps of air he hunched, as small as he could, trying to find some relief, all of his thoughts wiped by the sheer agony he was in. If anybody saw him now, they would presume he was dying.

"_Juramentum, Arthur Pendragon ous tutela, ni purus moestita, adamans ferox.__"_

Again, those words. That prayer – they seemed to be the key. He gave an angry grunt, someone must have cursed him. Someone must have put him under a spell, and now it was tearing him to pieces.

He fought to get back to his feet, staggering a little as he did. There was only one person who seemed to understand anything about this magic, so he was the boy's only real last hope.

Merlin would just have to endure the Great Dragon's sarcky, vague remarks again.

'_Damn you Arthur! Damn you!_'

He thought as he moved, gripping hold of the banister as he began his long trek.

-

"**Well well, if it isn't the Young Warlock back again."** The Dragon seemed to smirk as Merlin stared up to him, his eyes squinted, and breathing hard.

"I need…your help." He gasped.

"**As per usual."**

Merlin shook his head at this remark, and slowly collapsed to his knees, his head spinning as he gulped in as much oxygen as he could. The Dragon arched his neck and approached a little, getting closer to him.

"**What have you done to yourself, Young Warlock?"**

"Nothing…" The other managed to say, just as the pain intensified, causing him to cry out. He heard the Dragon give out a roar, and somehow recognised it to be out of agitation, rather than anger. "Help…" Merlin begged, the pain so strong that it was beginning to blur his vision. "It hurts…Ah-" He cut out with a sharp gasp as he doubled over completely, clutching his stomach.

Next second he felt a warm rush over him, a wind so strong it threatened to blow everything away around him...yet he remained untouched, safely cocooned in the centre of it. The pain edged away a little, becoming a bearable ache instead. But the fresh bout of emotions that had come with it remained, still threatening to make Merlin cry with bitterness at any moment, and leaving him drained. It was as if he'd woken to an empty world. He felt like he'd just lost something so vital to his life, like all the colours of the world had been sucked away, leaving the landscape as a scope of lifeless grey, black and white.

Looking up he saw the Dragon looming even closer to him than before, and realised that it had breathed on him. Standing slowly he leaned back against the wall, his legs shaking.

"What…What did you do? You healed me with your breath?"

"**No. I eased the strain of the oath, you were destroying yourself with it."**

"The oath? You mean that spell…that spell I heard in my head!? This is what has caused it huh?" Merlin shouted, anger, confusion and upset making him lose all reason. "So how do I lift it then, this curse?!"

"**You cannot break the oath now, you have taken the vow and been accepted, there is no way to break away from it, unless you die."**

"…" Merlin stared to him speechless before sliding to the floor again. "So this is it huh? I'm going to be in pain for the rest of what? Forever!? I'm going to feel like this until I die?"

"**The effect of the curse, if you try to turn your back on it, is an intensified, concentrated form of your own emotions and pain. Tell me what happened prior to this, and I may be able to explain it to you."**

The young sorcerer put his head in his hands, trying desperately to keep his voice even and in check. "Arthur dismissed me…not only as a friend, but even as his servant."

"**This cannot be so! Your destiny is intertwined, you cannot be parted!"**

"Yeah well, that's what he's decided!" Merlin shouted back, "So what do you want me to do about it, huh!? Change his mind, th-that…that selfish prick! It's over!"

"…**Merlin, you have not listened to my words! It is impossible for you and ****Arthur to be parted now, you have partaken in an oath of the old religion. Your destiny together can only truly be severed now with death, and I assume that the Prince is still breathing."**

Merlin stared up to the Dragon and took his a deep breath, clutching his stomach again.

"…What are you trying to say?"

"**The spell did not cause this, not directly."**

The boy took in several short breaths, so close to weeping now from the emptiness and frustration he could hardly talk. "You're telling me…that it hurts…because of some other reason? What other reason could there be!? It has to be that spell, it has to be. Why else!? Why?!" He was desperate now, more that desperate that the Dragon change his mind, that the Magical creature declared that he had made a mistake, or that perhaps the cause was some sort of illness…But Merlin didn't want to hear the words he already knew were coming, words that, although he had never thought them until this moment, never even considered them, he had feared for as long as he had served Arthur.

"**It hurts, young Warlock, not because of some spell. It is because you have fallen further into you****r destiny than even you planned. You love Arthur."**

"You're lying! That arrogant bastard, how could anybody ever love him!?"

"**How? As you do now."**

"You're lying! Shut up! You're lying!" Merlin clenched his hands into fists and gagged, unable to stop the tears now as he bawled, "You're lying…" He cried, gasping and sniffing, "…Please tell me…you're lying."

'_Because if it's true…than I've been cast away by the one I longed for the most.'_

He bowed his head to the floor and howled.

-

Gaius looked up to the sound of the door opening. "Ah Merlin, is that you, I've been- Merlin?" The old man stood as his ward approached, "Merlin, what on earth happened?" He asked, taking in the boy's appearance.

His usual smile adorned face was pale, sickly so, eyes red and raw, and clothes and skin dirty, as if he'd been kneeling in dust. Gaius approached worriedly, taking the boy by the shoulders and looking him over. Merlin just stared forward, face emotionless and drained. "Merlin, talk to me." Gaius took hold of the black haired boy's chin and angled his face down so that he could really look at him. Merlin caught his eyes, showing a deep fatigue burning deep within him. "Has something happened?"

"…Arthur…dismissed me."

"_What_?" The other asked with disbelief.

"But…the great Dragon said that we can't be separated…not now so…it can't be too bad really." Merlin shrugged, and then gave a weak laugh, "At least it means no chores for me for a little while."

"I don't believe it, Merlin what did you do?"

"It doesn't matter." The other replied, hanging his head. "Maybe by tomorrow it will all have resolved itself…I know in the long run it will be fine…I has to be. You can't stop destiny, can you?"

"Sit down Merlin." Gaius navigated him to a chair and pushed the boy gently down, checking his temperature. Merlin's skin was cold, as if he's had it leaned on a stone surface for a long time. "Let me get you something to help."

"It's fine…really. I'll be able to sleep well tonight, don't worry." Merlin shook his head, his eyes half closing. He didn't look upset anymore, just drained.

"How can it be alright? If it was than why would it be in this state? Talk to me, I _am _worried."

Merlin was silent for a moment and than gave out a small smile, "I just…figured something out. That's all."

"What are you talking about?"

"I admitted something to myself." Merlin gave another laugh, "Well, I say that…but it's something I never even realised…well, no, I did, just not consciously…not willingly." He paused, "Gaius…please don't worry, really. I'm fine now, it's ok. I'm just going to go and sleep it off…it's ok now. I'm not in pain anymore."

"Merlin…"

"Please don't worry." Merlin pleaded, his face kind as always, but eyes shinning with a deep sort of maturity that was disturbing and disheartening to see there.

"…I worry Merlin, of course I worry." He leant down and hugged the other, feeling Merlin snake his arms up behind the others back and grasp him too, burying his head into the older man's chest. "Get some rest, and call me if you need anything…even if it's just a talk, ok?"

"Yes…thank you." Merlin let go and stood, moving to his room, and closing the door gently behind him. Gaius watched it long after he had gone, listening as the other took of his cloths, and got into the bed. Sighing the older man looked around to the empty table he was sat at. Was fate so hell bent on hurting Merlin in every way it could?

-

"_My beautiful son." She touched a hand to his face, her cold, soft fingers brushing against his warm cheek as __she leant down and kissed his forehead. "My baby boy."_

_He frowned to this comment and opened his eyes, looking to her. He wasn't actually so small, just laid down. _

_Sitting up he realised that he was the taller than her, bigger too. Her hand found his and their fingers intertwined, her blue eyes catching his as she smiled to him, an action that was so subtle that had he not been looking deep into the depths of her soul he wouldn't have see the true burst of pride, joy and delight. _

"_Mother." The word should have sounded foreign, but it didn't…simply comforting. He leant toward her slightly. "Mother." He said again, and suddenly he was clasping her into him, rocking her and holding her with all his might. "Mother. My mother."_

_Her arms wrapped around his back and she placed her head against his chest as he put his chin on-top of her head. She gave a soft hum. "I can hear your heart beating."_

"_My heart?"_

"_Always there as it was in my stomach, strong and steady…My boy."_

_Arthur leant away, he suddenly didn't remember loss, but something was wrong…something was reminding him that there was a reason he felt such joy at seeing his mother's face. An unexplained joy. _

"_What have you done?" A voice suddenly whispered and he turned to see his Father stood in the doorway, staring to him with horrified eyes. "Arthur…What have you done?"_

_He blinked and tried to understand this, tried to comprehend what his father had meant, and who he was addressing._

"_Answer me! Arthur!"_

…_Arthur. That was his name. He put a hand to his head, and only then realised that his fingers were empty. He was sat alone on the bed, his mother was no where in sight._

_But of course, she'd been dead for a long time._

_The first wave of pain hit him and he was on all fours on the floor, gagging. "No…" _

_He felt like someone had a hold of his throat, and was gripping it. His Father was still watching, looking mortified. "Father…" He called softly, gasping for air. "Help…please he-"_

_Udovic folded his arms and looked down to the boy who had his hand outstretched toward him. The moment Arthur realised this he pulled it back immediately, looking around desperately for where his father might have gone._

"_Did you just call for your Father's help?" Udovic cooed, "Against me? I'm impressed. What's wrong? Why don't you keep calling, he'll come back if you need him. He loves you Arthur. Your friends too, so why don't you call them? Go on!" The noble sneered, before lunging down and taking a hold of Arthur's face, forcing him upright into a kneel. "But you won't, will you? Therefore you can't. Therefore they've abandoned you." He brushed his nose against Arthur's cheek and the other shivered. Only moments ago he had felt his mother's hand there, and now that blessing was being violated. _

"_Call for help." A voice said urgently, and he saw his mother stood at the doorway, her beautiful face a vision, so familiar and yet so…unknown. "Call for help." She begged._

"_Help me." He tried as he felt Udovic's hand slip up his shirt, causing him to gasp. He was useless. Helpless. Unable to move in any way what so ever, or to defend himself. _

_His mother shook her head, and he felt like his heart was breaking. "Please." He shouted as Udovic began to undo the Prince's trousers. "Please, help me!"_

"_I cannot Arthur."_

"_Please!" he begged, "Don't leave me! Don't…Don't leave me here!"_

"_Call for help." She urged, her eyes wet with tears. "Please Arthur. Call for help."_

"_I can't." He gasped as Udovic slipped his hand in. "I can't. It's…it's too shameful. Please…you understand…please help me."_

"_I cannot."_

"_Please."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_Please!" He felt his length be gripped, as Udovic touched him at will, stroking and undressing him. When Arthur looked again his mother was gone. "Come back!" He shouted, "Don't leave me! Come back! Come back!"_

"_Call for help." Udovic laughed to his side, "Go on, you know that you need to. You can't stop me alone."_

"_Get off!" Arthur suddenly found strength and tore himself away, tumbling across the floor before scrambling to the doorway. He could hear Udovic's laughter as he slammed the door behind him and ran, running with all his might down the deserted corridor. "Mother!" He called, "Mother!"_

"_You can't just close a door on me, Arthur Pendragon!" He heard Udovic's voice carry after him, and he ran, ran like the devil was chasing him. _

_And with that thought, suddenly it was. A huge creature with a mouth filled with sharp, needle like teeth, ready to rip him apart in his jaws. It roared, the sound so terrifying that Arthur felt his stomach clench, and he forced himself on further._

_Somewhere in the back of his mind something reminded him that monsters can't just randomly appear, and that this was impossible – this huge beast just popping out of nowhere in the castle corridors. But already he had an answer to that, an answer that his subconscious, strangely enough, screamed. And that was that the monster had always been there, always and now he was in it's path. Arthur had come out into the open, come out to this creature which was going to kill him, and there was no way to defend himself from it. It wouldn't stop until it had seen blood. _

_Suddenly ahead of him__ Arthur saw a figure come into view. The Prince recognised him instantly. "Merlin!" He shouted, running into the boy and grabbing him by the shoulders. His Servant stared to him, as if he was surprised to see him. "Merlin what are you doing here?!"_

"…_What do mean?" Merlin babbled, looking confused, "I've always been here-"_

_Arthur cut across him. O__f course Merlin had no idea what was going on – he was just going about his daily chores – he didn't know about the monster. "-It doesn't matter! Come on, we have to get out of here!"_

"_Why?"_

"_There's a monster! It can't be stopped! Hurry, it will kill me." Arthur said as he heard another roar behind him, closer this time. Merlin blinked to him, looking confused, before giving Arthur that goofy smile and chuckling._

"_In that case-" He pulled Arthur's hands off his shoulders, and pushed him gently to the side, stepping forward so that he was right in the beast's path. "I'll take your place."_

"_Wha- No! No you idiot! What are you doing?!" The Prince demanded as Merlin opened his arms, tilting his head back with that same smile. "I told you Arthur, I'll serve you until I die…" He grinned at Arthur as the beast approached rapidly, arching it's head back and giving a shriek of victory. "Good bye."_

"_**No**__! __**NO!**__**MERLIN! NO!"**__ Arthur shouted, howling as the creature dove and attacked. There was a sickening crunch of bone and tearing of muscle as it's teeth sank into the other boy's flesh, piercing straight through his stomach. __**"MERLIN!"**_

_Arthur scrambled forward, reaching out just as a__ splatter of something hit his cheek, warm, thick and wet. Blood. Merlin's blood. He touched a hand to it and screamed. _

_-_

Gaius's head shot up as he heard a loud thud echo from Merlin's room, accompanied by a short, sharp, startled shout. Immediately the old man was on his feet and running for the doorway, moving as swiftly as he could.

Throwing the door open he looked around to room and caught sight of Merlin who was strewn on the floor, his hands clutched around his head, and blanket tangled up around his legs.

"Merlin!" Gaius ran to his fallen ward, "Merlin! What is it?"

"My head…" Merlin gasped, clutching his hand hard to his eyes and crying out, "Someone's screaming…in my head!"

"What?"

"I-…" Merlin shook his head, gasping in pain and confusion. Suddenly his eyes shot open and he sat up so quickly that he nearly collided with Gaius who was bent over him. "Arthur!" He said, face set with panic, "It's Arthur! It's got to be."

"What, what are you talking abo- Merlin, where are you going!?"

"I've got to go and see him." Merlin replied, Gaius had never seen him look so panicked. "Something's wrong."

"Wait Merlin – what about you!? Mer – **Merlin**!" He called as the other disappeared out of the doorway, bare foot, and clothed in nothing but a pair of trousers and a light, loose shirt. Gaius stared after him, aghast, and slowly put a hand to his head.

He was becoming far to accustom to watching that boy running out of the house to go and save somebody else. "God be with him, stupid boy."

-

Merlin ran with all of his might, charging through the palace. He didn't care who saw him, he didn't care how many people he woke up with his running. All that mattered was Arthur. It didn't matter to the black haired boy that the Prince had dismissed him earlier, broken their friendship, and turned his back on Merlin. No, none of that mattered at all, not when he could hear screaming so loudly in his head.

Reaching the room he burst in, throwing the door open so forcefully that it slammed into the wall and swung back toward him. But he was already in the room before it had a chance to collide with him and instead it just banged shut, saving Merlin the trouble.

The boy went straight toward the bed and stared to Arthur who was sat bolt upright, staring directly forward, face covered with a light sheet of sweat, eyes wide and breathing ragged.

For a moment Merlin didn't recognise him. He'd never seen Arthur with an expression like that. He knew the Prince to be composed, cocky, prideful…fearless. Not this. Not with this hysterical expression.

Immediately Merlin was by his side, shaking the Prince's shoulders and trying to snap him out of it. "Arthur, can you hear me!? Arthur?"

"Please." Arthur replied, shaking his head furiously and struggled away from the other, breathing fast and pained. "Stop. Please. Don't just – blood…don't – ah." He gave out a loud, terrified growl and sucked in some air quickly, hiccupping. He twisted his head to the side, shaking, before finally looking to Merlin. There was a moment where he seemed to focus, only an instant. Merlin stared back, and saw recognition flood the others eyes in that instant. The boy almost relaxed, thinking finally the Prince was snapping out of it, but almost immediately Arthur's eyes were clouded with fear and confusion again.

"Oh no – Come on Arthur." Merlin begged, holding the other steady as Arthur began to hyperventilate again. "Please, please tell me you can hear me! Give me a sign, come on! Snap out of it." He gave out a strangled cry of frustration and bringing his hand around he slapped the Prince across the face in one swift motion. "Wake up!"

Almost instantly Arthur went still, and then he blinked slowly, looking to the boy who sat waiting, hand still raised from striking him.

"Merlin." Arthur said it slowly, as if he was surprised, couldn't believe it. The other nodded and slowly put his hand down.

"Yes. It's me." He replied, "What happened Arthur? What is it?"

"Merlin." Arthur just gasped, his breathing suddenly panicked again and face once more ashen. He gripped the covers in his fists, knuckles white from the grip. "Don't leave. Don-"

"-I'm not going anywhere, Arthur, what is it?" Merlin begged.

"Help. You've got to-" The rest was lost in a rant of incomprehensible words, as Arthur struggled, Merlin holding onto him desperately. The Prince was still asleep.

"Shhh." Merlin eased, rocking the other, "It's just a nightmare…Shhh, it's ok." He tried, thinking back to what his mother used to do when he had nightmares. "Wake up Arthur. Please, it's ok now. I'm here, I won't leave…wake up."

Arthur just held him tighter, mind somewhere else completely, still trapped in his own horrific world. "Don't leave me." Arthur gasped. "Don't ever leave me."

-

**Mwuhahaha! Yes, so I shall leave it there! Slightly OOC Arthur at the end there, but don't forget he was asleep, and in dreams you're never as strong as you want to be, or, more to the point, you can never run fast enough in a nightmare. **

**Hope you all enjoyed, and please to pop me a quick review! **

**Now, a little taster for the next instalment – **

_-_

"_Welcome Lord Udovic, welcome to Camelot!"_

"_Now really Uther, is there any need for these formalities?" Udovic embraced Uther, "We're amongst friends after all."_

_-_

"_Just stay scarce for a few days, until this is over. You've got to do this."_

"_But-"_

"_-Please Merlin, just do it."_

"…_Fine."_

_-_

"_Well well, if it isn't the brother." Cecilia giggled, clapping her hands together._

"_I'm…sorry Milady?"_

"_Destinies intertwined eh? What an interesting twist."_

_-_

"_**Something dark is threatening this castle young Warlock, dark indeed."**_

"_You don't think it could have to do with Lord Udovic, do you?"_

"_**I know not…All I can know for certain was that when that**__** man came, so did a great evil."**_

_-_

"_Arthur, I saw something, I know I did." Morgana gripped his hands, "That man…he can only mean bad things!"_

"…"

"_Arthur please!"_

"_I know Morgana…But what can I do about it!?"_

_-_

"_Well, if it isn't the manservant." Udovic crossed his arms._

"_Sorry my lord, I'll just-" Merlin bowed his head, moving to the door._

"_-No no, where's the rush? Why don't you stay?" A hand trailed across his shoulder, as Udovic purred in his head "Please, stay."_

_-_

"_D__id he do anything to you!? Anything at all!"_

"_N-no…he, well-"_

"_-What!? What did he do? Tell me!"_

_-_

**See you next time!**


	6. Helplessness

**Hello people! Ok, I am soooo sorry for the late update! I really, truly am ****ashamed at how long it's taken me to type this chapter up…Please forgive me! I'll try and update quicker in the future.**

**Thanks to all of you who gave me a review for the last chapter! Please have a look down bellow for my response!**

**32-Star –** I am glad you think so. I hope this one is just as good!

**Kittendragon** – Hah, well we shall have to see! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Catindahat – **Haha, so much for updating soon. My bad. : ( I hope it's a good enough standard. By the way, it says in your profile that you're from England. I'm from the South-west, what about you?

**Authorqueen** – Hah, yes, internet Latin isn't really that great. : ) Oh well, sorry for cutting off where I did in the last chapter. Hope this one is better.

**Makotojinx** – Thank youuuu! I'm glad you're enjoying my somewhat strange sense of humour. The 'disembowel' line was also my favourite from the last chapter!

**Loopylion14 – **I hope this chapter tops the last one as well…Though I can make no promises. :D Thank you for the review.

**Weihna** – Haha, O my God, I am so sorry! It's here now though, I promise! Sorry to make you wait!

**FireChildSlytherin5 – **Thank youuu!

**Eco Lin – **I really appreciate your words, they're so touching. I'm glad you also saw the relevance of the dream, as I really wanted to make the last chapter powerful. My favourite line in the dream is when Arthur first bumps into Merlin and asks him what he's doing there, and Merlin replies "I've always been here." Arthur has no idea exactly what that means, but don't worry…It'll dawn on him later. :P

**SprouseBros** – Updaaated. Glad you're liking it so far.

**emiliexox – **Sorry it took so long, enjoy!

**IsabelEmrys** – Thank you, I am so touched! I hope that you're still as into it after such a long wait! Thanks again!

**Ok! So a few warnings for this chapters – There is a little gore, (not much), and mentions of sexual assault**** again, so please be warned. Nothing too graphic though. Also there is swearing, but no worse than in previous chapters. **

**Disclaimer – I do not own Merlin, or any of it's characters…I'm just simply putting the truth down on paper, that secretly those two love each other! :D**

**Enjoy! **

**-**

Arthur slowly opened his eyes, staring up to the ceiling silently, his vision still blurred with sleep. He felt as if he was recovering from a sickness, his body weak and limp, but his head clear and limbs free of pain. He felt pleasantly cool, and comfortable and for that he was glad. For some reason he felt like not so long ago he'd been burning hot, and the coldness was a pleasant contrast to how he had felt.

Shifting a little he realised that he couldn't move his left arm, and upon further inspection as to just why his vision focused on the sleeping form of his manservant Merlin, who was passed out, half strewn across his bed, pinning Arthur down lightly, as if at some point in the night he had been holding him upright.

Arthur blinked at the sight, and then slowly he felt a mild surprise begin to prickle through him. But the strange thing was that he wasn't surprised so much by the fact that Merlin was there and was, more to the point, sleeping in his bed, as by the fact that he wasn't actually surprised, or angered to see him doing so.

Lying back down into the pillows he stared up to the ceiling, trying to flex his arm and get feeling into his fingers, which he could feel were starting to go slightly numb.

'_Today is the day Udovic comes.'_

He thought silently to himself and stopped moving, staring blankly upward. He felt drained of all the anger, hatred and unease that had been purging his body the day previous, and was instead oddly…deadly calm.

Taking in a small breath he glanced back to Merlin, furrowing his brow in thought. Arthur couldn't quite recall when Merlin had arrived, and for what purpose he had come, but something about the other's presence now made everything that happened yesterday seem so…far away.

"Merlin." He said softly, and the other gave no response. Arthur raised his eyebrows to this and spoke a little louder. "Merlin." He tried again, shifting his arm this time so that the other boy twitched with a small snuffle and opened his eyes blearily, looking around. Arthur gave him a sarcastic smile, "Well good morning sleeping beauty." He said sardonically, "Did you get a good night's rest?"

"…Arthur?" Merlin blinked in response, his eyes still blurred with sleep as he tried to comprehend what was going on. The Prince gave the other an encouraging nod.

"Yes Merlin, it's me…now would you kindly get off my arm so that I can get my blood circulation moving again?"

For a moment Merlin didn't move, and then his eyes suddenly widened as if he only just released exactly where he was. With one swift movement he had sat bold upright and thrown himself to the other side of the bed, face animalistic with a form of beguiled terror. Arthur brought his arm up to his chest and sat up, massaging it, and flexing his fingers as they prickled, the blood flowing back into the tips. He gave a small sigh of relief before looking up to Merlin who had curled up as far away as possible, staring at Arthur as if he was waiting for a beating. "What's with that expression?" the Prince finally barked, and Merlin jumped, before tilting his head confusedly to the side.

"I…I thought you were angry with me." He said slowly.

"I was." Arthur responded, catching the others eyes before swinging himself out of bed and onto his feet. He stretched, glancing over his shoulder to Merlin who was still sat amidst the bed clothes. "I am allowed to change my mind you know." He stated and Merlin physically relaxed, nodding his head with a small, unsure smile. If Arthur didn't throw judgement or an accusation at someone straight away then he was unlikely too. The Prince was straight forward when it came to dealing with issues, unless they affected him directly in a more personnel way…and then he just became annoyingly complicated.

"…Arthur, I'm sorry about yesterday." Merlin suddenly said, and Arthur froze, mid stretch. Quietly he glanced over his shoulder again to see Merlin staring to him, his face morbid with a deep regret. The Prince could have laughed.

"And so you should be." He replied, "But that isn't important now. You-…You weren't to know." He coughed awkwardly, and came back to the bed, sitting on the mattress and staring to the opposite wall. There was a long silence, and finally Arthur spoke, his voice quiet and sullen. "I had a nightmare last night, didn't I?"

Merlin seemed to hesitate for a moment, before finally replying. "…Yes…It was quite bad."

"Hm Yes…I can remember it." Arthur said after another extended pause. "Yes…Hah. The only redeeming feature to it was that you were in it." He looked over to Merlin, and smiled cruelly, "And you died."

"Charming."

"Well at least you died a very dignified death." Arthur said, as Merlin sighed. "You died protecting the future King of Camelot – it was an honour."

"Is that right? How did I die?"

"You got ripped to pieces by a giant monster."

"Wow, sounds like fun." Merlin said seriously and Arthur laughed, before turning away again and facing the wall. "But I was protecting you was I? And you actually saw me do it…Now there's a difference."

"You make it sound like you've done it before and I haven't noticed."

"That's basically what I meant." Merlin nodded and Arthur snorted, peering around again.

"Please Merlin, you can barely take care of yourself." He laughed as his manservant prickled. He turned back again and clasped his hands. There was a long silence where Merlin began to shift off of the bed. "You know-" Arthur spoke and the other stopped moving, listening to him. Arthur tightened his fingers, his voice even, and quiet. "-If you ever did that in real life…If you ever sacrificed yourself for me in that way…" He paused, "I…" He swallowed, before lightening his tone. "I would actually kill you."

There was a beat and then Merlin laughed, crossing his arms, "Can't kill someone who's already dead."

"Well I would find away – don't think you're getting out of your responsibilities as my servant that easily." Arthur snapped back, with a grin and Merlin chuckled.

"Can't do chores if I'm dead either way."  
"I would work you to death then."

"Aw, Arthur – for a minute I thought you were being genuinely concerned for my well being – my mistake."

Both boys grinned to one another at the joke and Arthur felt something release within him as he relaxed. Getting up he moved to the window, glancing out of it to the un-coming day as Merlin also got off the bed and began to make it.

"I'd better get to Gaius…I gave him a pretty bad scare last night when I ran out…Ugh, I don't have any clothes to change into up here either." Merlin spoke, seeming to be directing the words more to himself than Arthur. The Prince was half listened in just as a thought occurred to him.

"There's a point…How did you know?" Arthur asked and Merlin froze, glancing over his shoulder to the Prince, mid straightening the sheet.

"Know what?" Merlin asked weakly.

"That I was having a nightmare. You weren't here when I went to sleep…when did you get here?"

Merlin paused, his eyes twitching a little, as they did when he tried to think up an excuse. "Ugh…Gauis told me to bring you some potion, so I…did." He boy finally said and the Prince raised his eyebrows, crossing his arms.

"Is that right? So what was that you were saying about running out on Gaius last night?"

"…Did I say that?" Merlin asked feebly, looking as if he wanted to dash out of the room. Arthur gave an extended nod, smiling expectantly as Merlin swallowed. "Yes, I did…Uh, Well…When he gave me the potion I…Refused to take it up to you at first and pretended that I did." The boy spoke slowly, as if he was considering each word carefully. "Then, in the night I…started to feel really guilty, and started to worry, so I came up check on you…and you were having a nightmare."

Arthur considered these words – the excuse seemed valid enough, even if Merlin looked a little on edge when he was saying it. Though it was hardly surprising, Merlin felt guilt worse than anyone in Camelot, he probably blamed himself in some bizarre way for Arthur's nightmare.

"Fine." Arthur accepted the excuse graciously and decided to make nothing of what had happened. He saw Merlin relax from the corner of his eye, before looking back into the courtyard. "Today is the day." He stated, watching a cart full of food be pulled up toward the castle, no doubt for tomorrow evening's feast – Udovic and Cecilia would be too tired from their journey to celebrate their arrival this evening, so the festivities would be put on tomorrow.

"Today is what day?"

Arthur touched his hand to the glass pane, "Today is the day that Lord Udovic arrives." Merlin made no comment from behind him, choosing instead to wait for the Prince to continue speaking. For this Arthur was thankful, he felt more in control if he wasn't being constantly questioned. "I'd better get ready to go and greet him, and you had better get ready to serve him – he's a picky man."

"So I gather."

"You don't even know the least of it." Arthur snorted, thinking to how Udovic would use his servants as a foot stool to get onto his horse, and how he would use them as chairs also, if he got tired whilst hunting. "Merlin, I want us to forget what's happened over these last few days."

"Forget?"

"Yes." The Prince replied steadily, "We never went to the glade, I never collapsed, I did not dismiss you the other day, and I never threw you out of my presence. Alright?"

"Oh. Does that mean I didn't drug you either?"

"No no, you drugged me and I'll have you punished for that later – don't think that you can slip out of that so easily. But that is neither here nor there, I want things to be as they were."

"…So do I." Responded Merlin quietly, and for just a moment Arthur could have sworn he heard something else in the other's voice, but he was unable to place exactly what.

"Good…Right." The Prince, rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, wondering how best to word his next sentence. "Now that we have that sorted I want to ask you to do something for me."

"Clean out your horses again?"

"No, that goes without saying." Arthur replied, "And you can dress me in a minute too, but that's not what I'm going to ask of you."

"What then?"

"…While Udovic is here I need you to do something for me. For my own good, and also for yours."

Merlin moved a little closer to him, rubbing his hands on his shirt, face serious. "What?" He asked.

"I need you to pretend that you're not my servant."

"…Sorry what?" The boy asked, incredulously.

"Just while Udovic is here…I don't want him to see you in my company."

"Why on earth not, I'm just your-"

"-It's an invitation for him to ask chores of you. And the idea of you serving him in any way makes me feel sick to the stomach – firstly because I hate him, and most predominantly because you would inevitably do something wrong in his eyes, and I don't want to have to see you stripped, whipped publically and made to appear as even more of an incompetent idiot."

"…Thanks, I think."

"Look. Just stay scarce for a few days, until this is over. You've got to do this."

"But-"

"-Please Merlin, just do it."

"…Fine." The manservant grumbled, "But this is going to mess up my time table, staying out of sight that is. I'll have to sneak into your room to do your laundry during lunch or something – and I won't be able to dress you, or run you a bath unless you do one very early and the other late."

"We'll organise something." Arthur replied, "Just don't…talk to me when he might have any chance of seeing you."

"How long is he staying for?"

"I've no idea. If you recall I didn't manage to hear the end of my father's announcement."

"Oh yeah."

"Well, I'm glad we've got that sorted." Arthur beamed, "Now go and put some clothes on, and bring me some breakfast - I'm hungry."

"What – oh, right. Yes sire." Merlin nodded, and left the room, closing the door after him.

-

Uther stood at his thrown beaming as the doors to the courtroom opened and Udovic came in, in all of his glory, followed immediately by Cecilia and several of his guards and servants who were only a small proportion of the entourage he had brought with him.

Arthur felt his stomach tug as he looked to their guest – Udovic had finely dressed up for the occasion in an rich forest green doublet and cloak with a silver crown on his head which brought out the grey of his own eyes. His middle aged, yet handsome face was clean shaven, and his neck length hair was slicked back, the dark colour now peppered with white, and grey which gave him, as always, the appearance of some sort of preened owl. Arthur found that if he studied the other's features for long enough he stopped being able to recognise him for who he was.

Udovic threw open his arms his arms in greeting as Uther moved forward so that the two were opposite each other, each beaming, eyes alight with identical happiness. One couldn't lie that their friendship was truly the real thing, and that both had a deep companionship with each other. Which was one of the reasons Arthur found it so difficult to bring up the subject of his dislike of Udovic to the King…The idea was painful to Arthur, the idea of having to see first the anger, and then deep upset in his father's eyes. Uther had very few weaknesses and places of target, Arthur being – in his own opinion – the least of these and Udovic being one of the top.

"Welcome Lord Udovic, welcome to Camelot!" Uther also opened his arms, palms spread to the sky and Arthur could hear the excitement in his father's voice.

"Now really Uther, is there any need for these formalities?" Udovic embraced Uther tightly, both slamming their hands into the others back with laughter, "We're amongst friends after all."

"Indeed we are – oh it is good to see you, it had been too long. I welcome you to my castle, and you as well Cecilia – it is a pleasure."

"Nay Uther, it is our pleasure." Cecilia gave a deep, gracious bow, before catching eyes with Arthur and giving him a quick wink which he smirked to.

"Arthur, Morgana, please come and great our guests." Uther spoke and the two stepped forward, faces serious. "I would like to present to you my ward, the Lady Morgana, you have met her before I believe Henry."

"Ah yes, but that was a long time ago." He took Morgana's hand and gave a deep bow, face respectful. "I can see in your eyes, my Lady, that you have much grown since our last meeting in both wisdom, and in beauty." Udovic let go of her hand with a charming smile, "I, in comparison, have aged and begin to grow senile."

"Nonsense." Morgana replied, "I look forward to your company in the future, as there are many things which you have seen and experienced which I would be over joyed to hear about."

"Well I won't bore you with old war stories, milady, but it would be my pleasure to discuss the arts, science or indeed geography with you if you so desire." Henry pointed to his wife, "I believe you will also remember my wife, Cecilia."

"Oh! Oh come here my girl! You've grown very beautiful Morgana, as I knew you would. Oh, I could cry tears of joy at seeing your face again after so long my dear." Cecilia said earnestly, clutching the younger woman's hands in her own. Morgana smiled keenly to her, and Arthur recalled that he wasn't the only one with a good relationship with Udovic's wife. Morgana had spent a great deal of time with Cecilia when they were little, learning about more feminine things while Arthur learnt to duel and battle.

"Arthur." Udovic suddenly said and the boy turned his attention back toward him. For a moment he saw a glimmer of something cross the man's eyes, and then it was covered by his façade again. Giving the other a tight smile he inclined his head.

"Lord Udovic."

"Oh, Arthur, Arthur! We've discussed this – it's Henry, please." Udovic opened his arms expectantly and for just a moment the Prince was tempted to remain where he stood. However he could feel his father's eyes watching him expectantly, and although the very idea made a little part of him die inside, he stepped forward and embraced Udovic as his father had done, thinking of how nice it would be to plant a dagger in the other's back, rather then just the harmless flat of his palm.

As he pulled away he was given the opportunity to defend himself for just a second before he had been grabbed in a tight hug by Cecilia who gave out a faint squeal in his ear. "Ooh, I missed you Arthur!"

"I saw you a few days ago." He replied, the smile creeping on his face and he wrapped his arms around her for a fraction of a second, before easing her off. It would be improper to hold her for too long so openly in the court. She smiled to him, her cheeks glowing with pleasure.

"Which is too long!" She stated adamantly before turning back to Uther who was once more speaking.

"Please make yourselves comfortable and I trust that you will have a pleasurable stay. We will have servants show you to your room so that you might freshen up, if you need anything at all please ask."

"If that's the case then may I borrow your son and your charming ward for the afternoon?" Cecilia asked quickly, taking hold of both of their hands, and intertwining her fingers with theirs. Uther's expression softened at the determined look on her face.

"Ah yes…You have been like a mother to them for so long Cecilia…I cannot deprive you now, can I? Go then, do you plan on a ride?"

"Yes! I want to see the whole of Camelot before the day is out!" She exclaimed excitedly and Uther laughed. Arthur noticed how young his father appeared in Ceclia and Udovic's company – how he became young again with his old friends, and for that it was almost as if his hatred for Udovic lessoned somewhat.

"You'll exhaust yourself Cecilia."

"I intend too – but first I must freshen up, the journey was far too long!"

"Very well, I shan't attain you." Uther nodded and several servants came forward, ready to direct the lady, but Arthur shook them off.

"I'll take her." He said, catching Morgana's eye. He could tell the young woman was excited at the prospect of the idea of a ride out with just the three of them. It had been a while since they had done it, almost a decade, and it brought back fond memories.

"Ah, my escort is a Prince – this is grand." Cecilia cooed, lacing her fingers with Arthur's and catching Morgana's arm, "And I shall claim this one for myself too! I love being a selfish old hag!"

"You're not a selfish old hag, Cecilia." Morgana laughed as the three of them moved to exit the court together.

"Oh yes I am! Old and greying – but that doesn't matter! I have my two little children back again! Let's ride out into the sunset and never return, how about it?"

"I ask that you don't." Uther called, "I need them back to keep me in check."

"You'll have to pay my ransom then." Cecilia jibed as Arthur caught Udovic's eye. With all of the attention on Cecilia and the King, Udovic allowed his guarded expression to fall somewhat and sent the Prince a sly, almost lustful smile.

And all the hatred which Arthur thought he might have lost for Udovic after seeing his father's happy reaction, slid back into place and doubled. Arthur smiled back in response, promising death with his eyes.

-

Merlin sat in the chair and collapsed forward onto the table with an exhausted grunt. "It's barely noon and I've already spent all my energy." He grumbled as beside him Gaius laughed and patted him on the shoulder. "I've never had to do so many chores in my life, Lord Udovic brought an army with him!"

"It can't be helped, he's an important man." Gaius replied and Merlin gave out a long whine, before sitting up.

"His wife seems to be close with Arthur though." He said, thinking back to how genuinely happy Arthur had looked as she had embraced him. Merlin couldn't lie that some small part of him twisted in a form of jealousy. The Dragon had exposed Merlin's own secret to him concerning his feelings for Arthur, and now he was disturbingly intone with all of his inner emotions, which was – to put it bluntly – annoying. Before he could have written off his feelings without even have to actually think about them, but now that he knew what they were he was uncomfortably aware of how he acted around Arthur, and how he felt. In-fact, the very knowledge of his feelings made him almost feel as if he was obliged to feel jealous, and resentful to any who were getting more attention from the Prince. "I must be going mental." He muttered under his breath as Gaius came and sat beside him, putting down a stack of books.

"What was that?" The man asked but Merlin shook it off.

"I said that Arthur seems to get along with the Lady Cecilia a lot."

"Oh yes, she's known him since he was very small."

"Arthur…small." Merlin laughed, "I can't imagine the Prince being small."

"Oh he was…He was a very beautiful child."

"I bet he had a temper."

"Surprisingly no." Gaius seemed to reminisce. "In-fact for a great amount of time he was quite a timid child."

"…You're joking." Merlin's mouth fell agape as Gaius shook his head. "No way! No! You must be thinking of someone else."

"I have watching him grow since he was a baby." Gaius replied, "I assure you that I have not mistaken him."

Merlin tilted his head to one side, trying to get his mind around the idea. "What happened?" He asked and Gaius gave a faint chuckle.

"Uther did."

"…I see."

"Yes. Arthur was always rather intimidated by his father, and understandably so. I believe that for a great deal of his life, and maybe even now, he blamed himself for his mother's death. With no motherly figure to guide him, and a Father who didn't know quite how to act around his own son, for the first few years of his life Arthur was very much alone. Of course he was pampered, given everything that a child could want, but he was always a lonely child. The Lady Cecilia took it upon herself to try and help the Prince. She seemed to cure his loneliness and be able to understand him, where as Uther could not. Of course this bore some jealousy, but Cecilia managed to ease the tension by steadily introducing Uther into Arthur's life. The three of them would go hunting together, for instance, or indeed would spend the evening together. Then very slowly, as time passed she would spend less time with him, and Arthur would spend more time with Uther, or Lord Udovic, learning his duties. Cecilia helped to educate both Arthur and Morgana during the mornings, and then she would teach Morgana things about sewing, music and other noble women's past times, whilst Arthur learnt to fight, to joust, hunt, and rule the kingdom. As time passed Cecilia's visits became less frequent, and Arthur began to shape his path as a Prince, following his father. Yet at this point, despite his strong desire to reach the King's level of expectations Arthur was still a quiet, reserved child…he also acted sometimes in very un-princely ways."

"…What do you mean?"

"Without pride, without thinking – he would mingle with common folk, forget his place, and be obviously too friendly with his servants. As he was starting to reach an age which was crucial for the laying of the foundations of his path as heir, Uther could not allow this. He sent Arthur away to Lord Udovic in the hope that Arthur might be shown an example too by some extreme cases of aristocracy with whom he was comfortable with. He was gone for two months, and upon his return was very ill for several weeks. After a rather traumatic fortnight of feverish delirium, extreme loss of appetite, and dehydration the Prince woke up recovered from his sickness, weak, but determined. And since that day he has been the way he is, full of pride, dignity and Princely attributes."

"In other words a prat."

"In the basic." Gaius replied as Merlin looked to the table, blinking as a bemused smile formed on his lips.

"It's so hard to get into my head." He muttered, "All of that happening, and Arthur just…suddenly changing like that." There was a beat, and then he shook his head, "Actually no, it's not so hard to imagine. Arthur's still the boy he was before, he's my friend after all and I'm nothing but a servant. And he cares about his people a hundred times more than himself, and he's always putting his neck on the line for them."

"That is right, and the only reason Uther can accept that now is because whilst also doing all of these things Arthur recognises his status, and takes advantage of it."

"But why?" Merlin asked, "Why did he change like that?"

"As you know the Udovic family put great emphasis on servants knowing their place, and Arthur spent two months living with them, day in and day out. It's unsurprising he was changed…Or, at least that is what I assumed was the case until-"

"-Until you realised that Arthur started acting like he had a stick shoved up his arse whenever Udovic came to visit."

"I will not deny that the Prince had an ingenuis way of disguising it, but in light of recent events some things are starting to come back to me. I'm a fool for not realising it sooner, but I fear that Lord Udovic may have somehow, and I pray unintentionally, installed in Arthur a mental trauma of a sort."

"A mental trauma? Like what?"

"I'm afraid that I have no idea." Gaius shrugged, "There are several things could have caused an effect. If you want to find out more than I would suggest you go and ask one of the servants who went with Arthur to Lamporth castle during his stay there when he was a child."

"Are there any still around?" Merlin's face perked up with excitement as Gaius nodded.

"Joanus, now in the kitchens, went with him. He should remember."

"Great! I'll go and ask him – wait a minute…" Merlin stared to Gaius in open shock, "Are you…actually helping me snoop around Arthur's past?"

"As much as I dislike the idea of you prying into business which doesn't concern you, Arthur's problems are very much your own as well. I am worried for both his health, and also, as it is directly linked, your own future."

Merlin blinked, and then grinned. "Thanks Gaius!" He said, before leaping out of the room.

-

Gwen moved carefully, holding the large dish of water in her hands as steadily as she could so that none of it spilt. Setting it down she arranged the small vase of flowers beside it so that the flowers dropped ever so slightly above the water, reflecting rather beautifully on the surface of the perfumed liquid. She folded a large hand towel to the side and smiled, pleased with her work.

Turning away, her eyes lingering on the bowl to make sure it was set right and wouldn't fall, she faced toward the doorway before giving out a small squeak of fright. Stood, in what had previously been a clear archway, lord Udovic was leant in the door frame, watching her carefully. His approach had been soundless, and if Gwen hadn't known better she would have said the other was a ghost.

"Sorry." He said simply, his expression neutral as he neither moved out of her way, or toward her. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"N-no my Lord." She bowed, "I apologise, I was simply…S-startled by your appearance."

"I've always been rather quiet." He said, shifting a little and smiling to her. The expression relaxed her somewhat and she smiled back, clasping her hands together. "Did you bring up the bowl of washing water for me?"

"Yes Sire."

"That was kind of you. It must have been heavy." He stated and she shook her head, though this was quite obviously a lie.

"It was fine, my Lord. I hope that it is warm enough for your taste."

"I'm sure it will be." He replied, his grey eyes studying her. "What's your name?" He asked gently, and she ducked her head in another short bow.

"Guinevere, my Lord, though most call me Gwen."

"Guinevere eh? What a pretty name." Udovic looked back at the water, "And you set all this up by yourself, did you, Gwen?"

"I did Sire."

"You're a good girl." He smiled again and Gwen once again returned it. For all of the talk Udovic was actually a very nice man, and she was very pleasantly surprised by how soothing his voice was, and how easy his conversation. "Tell me a little bit about yourself Guinevere."

"Oh…Well, I'm the servant to the Lady Morgana, Sire."

"I see. And your upbringing?"

"My father is – was a blacksmith Sire." She cast her eyes down.

"Was?"

"He is dead now."

"I'm sorry to hear that, my condolences."

"Thank you, my Lord." She replied evenly. The mention of her father brought back a deep set of emotions within her, and she struggled to keep herself in control.

"But where are you from? You're skin is a little darker than most, if you don't mind me saying so."

"I am from Britania Sire, though my forefathers may have come from further east many years ago."

"Ah, with the Roman's no doubt, they had men from many a land. What honourable ancestry." Udovic mused, moving forward and dipping his hands into the water, face thoughtful. "Are you married?"

"Who, me Sire? No, sire." She laughed, and then quickly sobered up as she realised that he hadn't been making any joke. "No sire, I am not Sire…not yet."

"But you have a man?"

"No Sire."

"Ah, I see. Well you are young, though I am surprised – you are a very pretty woman."

She blushed at this remark as he continued to splash his face with water, before looking to her again.

"I'm hardly pretty sire, I'm just-"

"-No no, we'll have none of that. You caught my eye, and I assure you that I have only the most refined taste." He paused, "Though I am curious as to what there is more to you."

"Pardon, Sire?"

He suddenly smirked, and his eyes lit up, his face almost seeming to turn cruel. "Take off your dress." He said smoothly and Gwen's heart all but stopped.

"I…I'm sorry, I don't understand." She stammered as he approached her.

"You are somewhat educated, aren't you girl? Hm? You heard what I said – your dress, take it off. I've always had a great intrigue with virgins, the true body of someone virtuous is always, after all, beautiful. So I am curious as to what you look like. Don't worry, I won't necessarily take you – it depends what I see."

"Sire I…" She took a few steps back, and found herself against the door. Panic was beginning to flood through her as he leaned in a little, his eyes dancing with excitement. "I can't Sire."

"You're not arguing with me, are you? You, a mere Servant? Come, take it off – that's a direct order." He put his hand out toward her, put did not touch.

"N…no." She shook her head, "I won't Sire. I'm…I'm not that kind of-"

"-Fine." He pulled away from her and crossed back to the basin of water. "Uther was always too lenient on all of you. Go on then, get out of my sight." He spat, but she could see he was smiling. Quietly she opened the door, her hands quivering a little as she did so, making the task harder. Slipping out, it was just as she was about to leave he called to her again. "Oh, and Guinevere." She forced her eyes to focus on him as he spoke. "Don't come up here again – send someone more competent next time, or I might just take you by force."

"Yes Sire." She said as calmly as possible and shut the door quickly after her. Raising herself to her full height she marched down the corridor and it was only when she reached the safety of Morgana's bedroom that she allowed herself to burst into frightened tears.

-

It took longer than he thought it would to find Joanus, and Merlin was just about to give up hope when he finally spotted the elder man, sat propped in the corner.

Joanus was renown for being one of the servants who had worked the longest in the castle. Of course he had had nothing on Gaius, but never the less he had served loyally and with great effort for many years, meaning that now, in his older age, he was permitted to spend most of his time enjoying the luxuries of the castle, whilst having to do very few jobs. Not to say that the man was lazy, he did those jobs with great expertise, but most of his time outside of this, was spent enjoying the warmth of the kitchen, which came with the occasional leftovers of unfinished feasts.

"Joanus." Merlin walked toward him and the old man lifted his eyes, catching those of Merlin.

"Ah, young Merlin. Causing trouble again, are you?" He asked, his voice surprisingly clear for the first impression you got of him.

"I came to speak to you?"

"Ah, want to know something, do you?" The man was always very keenly intoned with what people around him were hiding, and Merlin sometimes got the impression that the old man actually knew his secret.

"Yes." Merlin admitted, taking a seat next to him and beginning to speak. "I want to know…about Lord Udovic?"

"Ah, you're the Prince's manservant, are you not?"

"Yes."

"People say you're close."

"We-…We share a joke sometimes." Merlin finally stated, with a shrug and Joanus wiggled his eyebrows, making the Warlock squirm a little at the implication in the other's eyes. "You went with Arthur to Lamporth once…when he was young, right?"

"I did."

"Can you…Can you tell me what happened there?" Merlin asked and the other started to laugh, shaking his head as he cackled.

"A lot of things happened lad, it was over two months that he stayed!"

"I mean anything which might have…traumatised him." Merlin lowered his voice as several other servants scurried past. Joanus's laughter became darker and he put a hand to his head, closing his eyes.

"I don't know much…but that place…Well, as proper as the Prince was treated there were, and still are plenty of practises going on there which would be enough to make you feel sick."

"Like what?" Merlin asked, suddenly genuinely curious. Joanus opened his eyes and looked to the boy, and there was a sudden deep weariness in his gaze.

"When we went many years ago one of the servants in Udovic's court was caught stealing from the family. It was proven that he had been taking money for himself for several years and Udovic ordered that the servant be punished accordingly for his despicable crime." Joanus paused, "I watched from the castle as Udovic's soldiers took the servant out around the back and stripped him, shaming him publically. They covered him in horse manure and pigs blood, and then when they had finished mocking him they beat him…Now I am not unaccustomed to the idea of a master beating his servant, especially in this case – I've even known some to have their hands cut off for the crime of theft but I…I couldn't look at what Udovic's men were doing, it was so horrifying. But I heard his screams. Terrible screams which reached up into the sky, so piercing and horrific that all you could do was pray that it would be over soon for the man. Finally after an hour of this torture the servant suddenly became silent, at long last. I presumed that at last they had stopped, but I was told that infact this wasn't so. They had not finished punishing the servant, he had simply stopped breathing. They had beaten him to death." Joanus took in a shaky breath. "Although I did not see the whole spectacle I did that mans remains…And what I saw…" He clasped his hands together, "They had broken all his bones, ripped his muscles and even torn some of the skin away from his body in places. In the place of a human form was simply left a heap of massacred, lacerated flesh."

Merlin wasn't aware of when he had began to feel faint, but he could feel the need to vomit pressing urgently in his throat as he slid against the wall, trying to support himself. He felt shaky just from hearing the description, his hands shaking and face drained of all colour. Carefully he opened his mouth, swallowing down the bile which threatened to rise up out of his throat. After a few moments of gagging air he caught Joanus's eyes, "And…And Arthur…Arthur _heard _this_… as a child!?_"

"No, my boy." Joanus shook his head, "The Prince didn't _hear _it…Udovic made him _watch _it. Arthur got a front row seat."

-

"I'm telling you – you spooked it." Morgana argued as Arthur shook his head, flashing his usual cocky grin.

"And I'm telling you that I didn't." He replied, "You're horse is just demented Morgana, end of."

"You spooked it Arthur Pendragon! Eleath has never done that before – it just because you suddenly shouted out like that! She got scared, it's not her fault! She's not used to me riding with a brute!"

Arthur laughed, shaking his head. Morgana, Cecilia and himself had just arrived back from the ride, and whilst Cecilia had insisted that she could find her room by herself Arthur and Morgana had stayed locked in conversation about why Morgana's horse, Eleath had suddenly bolted, seemingly randomly during the ride, causing Morgana to nearly fall. The two were heading back toward her room at that moment and were in good spirits.

Reaching the doorway Morgana continued to speak. "I mean it, it's all your fault Arthur-" She cut herself off as the sound of sobbing echoed out of the room. Immediately both she and Arthur froze, listening out to the sound which was being desperately hushed. They both recognised the voice.

"Gwen?" Morgana entered the room, looking around for her maid as she panicked, deep upset in her chest. Arthur wasn't short to follow as the two ventured into the room and found Gwen collapsed against the far side of the wall, face in hands and shoulders shaking desperately. She looked up to them, face streaking with tears and immediately attempted to stand and make herself look more proper. But her smile was weak, and her eyes were still running hopelessly.

"Gwen, what on earth is the matter!?" Morgana cried, rushing forward to clasp the others hands, Arthur strode after her and looked over the girl, looking for signs of injury.

"Has something happened? Are you unwell?" He asked, his voice genuinely concerned and Gwen burst into a fresh peel of sobs, hugging Morgana as she cried pitifully. Morgana held her close and rubbed her hand along her back as soothingly as she could, trying to get the girl to still her breathing.

"Shh, it's alright. Don't cry. What's going on, what has happened?" The woman asked kindly and Gwen gave out a long whimper, shaking her head as if she was unwilling to say. Arthur also began to gently coax her into speaking out.

"Has somebody tried to harm you?" He asked, "Threatened you?"

"No…" Gwen squeaked, her voice quivering before she finally answered. "Yes…" And taking in a deep breath, her cheeks burning in hurt and shame she began to tell them of her encounter with Udovic.

-

Merlin moved, seemingly in a trance, as he tried to get his bearings. He felt sick from his encounter with Joanus, and more than ever just wanted to go and hide somewhere. But no, even more desperately than that, he wanted to go and speak with Arthur.

However the Princes warning of that morning echoed in his mind, and he felt his stomach twist in frustration. He had to talk to Arthur, but that was exactly what he'd been told not to do!

Stepping out into the corridor, caught up in his own thoughts Merlin nearly walked head first directly into somebody, and was only able to avoid a collision by throwing himself back into the wall in shock. The lady before him raised her eyebrows and Merlin identified her as Cecilia.

For a moment neither moved, and then she narrowed her eyes, staring him down long and hard, as if something about him puzzled her greatly.

"I'm sorry my Lady." He stuttered, unnerved by her piercing gaze. Her eyes seemed to be able to reach out into his soul. "I didn't mean to – uh…I mean, I shouldn't have-" But before he could continue her face brightened.

"Well well, if it isn't the brother." Cecilia giggled, clapping her hands together. Merlin stared to her, utterly confused.

"I'm…sorry Milady?" He ventured, but it was as if she was off in her own world, her eyes looking over him curiously, as if she was summing him up.

"Destinies intertwined eh? What an interesting twist." She hummed in response to him, catching his gaze at last. "It's Merlin, isn't it?"

Shocked, and a little unnerved at her knowing this, the boy nodded and she hummed again, clasping her fingers together.

"Pendragon." She sang under her breath, turning and beginning to move away, her mind seemingly in another world. She glanced quickly over her shoulder to him, breaking out of her trance for a moment. "Shouldn't you be going? Arthur will be back in his chambers by now. You have duties to him you know?" She prompted and Merlin almost felt like she was giving him her blessing. Turning, still a little confused an edgy, he continued down the opposite route to her and she returned to her gentle singing, her voice childlike with excitement. "Pendragon. Pendragon." She chanted, "Pendragon's destiny, the countries fate entwined, but fear not, my good people, great heroes you will find. For before you lie battles, both bloody and glamorous. The question is, can they both live? Pendragon and his Emrys?"

-

Merlin looked both ways down the corridor before darting toward Arthur's room. He had decided that should Udovic spot him talking to Arthur he would claim to the man that he was simply delivering a message to the Prince from Gaius. That way he would be able to talk to Arthur, and also not be exploited as Arthur had warned he would be.

Reaching the door he hesitated before knocking gently twice, trying to make himself appear more formal, should anyone spot him.

When there was no response he slipped into the room, hoping that perhaps Arthur just hadn't heard him. Upon entering though Merlin was dismayed to see that the room was vacant, and he cursed. Arthur should have been back by now – where would he have gone?

'_He can't be far…He'll probably be back soon.'_

Merlin looked around to the messy room and sighed, picking up several clothes from the floor. He threw them over the chair, and then proceeded to tidy Arthur's armour away by hiding it in its various parts behind the Prince's chest of draws. Merlin's philosophy on tidiness was as followed – if you couldn't see the mess, there wasn't one…until, of course you found it again.

Once he had proceeded to shove the armour as far out of eye sight as possible he attempted at folding some of Arthur's clothes, before shoving them into one of his draws and hoping that he remembered where had had put them later.

From behind the door suddenly clicked open and Merlin turned hopefully. "Arthur, at last I-" He cut himself off as he came face to face with Lord Udovic who seemed equally as surprised to see him. "-…Oh, excuse me my Lord." Almost immediately Merlin felt a small tremor of hatred, and fear trickle it's way through him. Udovic got over his initial shock and stepped forward, his eyes, as if wife's had done weighing Merlin up.

"Well, if it isn't the manservant." Udovic finally crossed his arms with a small smirk. "Uther has told me all about you – Arthur's troublesome little servant. I don't normally abide for people like you, but apparently you've saved his life a couple of times, is that correct?" He watched the boy carefully, but the Warlock just cast his eyes away, ignoring his question.

"Sorry my lord, I'll just-" Merlin said instead, trying to duck toward the door, but before he could take another step an arm blocked his way.

"-No no, where's the rush? Why don't you stay?" A hand trailed across his shoulder, as Udovic purred into his head "Please, stay." He said, circling around the boy. Merlin remained frozen on the spot, flashes of Joanus's story jumping rather unhelpfully into his mind. He kept his face straight as Udovic continued to walk around him, like some sort of predator. "Uther's told me that you are Arthur are very close, is that true?"

"…Uh…" Merlin blinked. It was the second time that day that someone had posed this question, or more to the point fact. Only this time it was completely different. "I am his servant Sire, that is all." The cat was already out of the bag, there was no point claiming just to be the messenger.

"But it's true that you saved him?" Udovic's hand moved from his shoulder down to the centre of the boy's back. He drew in a little.

"Everyone in this castle is more than willing to lay their lives down for King Uther, and Prince Arthur." He said, trying to keep his voice from shaking. "It's just that…I spend more time with the Prince so…I have more opportunity."

"I see. But you're just his servant, correct?"

"Yes."

"Nothing more."

Merlin hesitated, and then forced the words out of his mouth, even though it caused his stomach to twist mercilessly. "Nothing more."

"Really…Because you were really quite casual on your first greeting when you thought I was the Prince." Udovic's other hand was on his arm now, and Merlin got the feeling that he was being sized up, felt over as if he were something to be sold in the market. He tried to stop the need to shiver from lurching through him. He felt suddenly very cold, and awkward. Udovic's very presence seemed to emanate something dangerous and dark and all the anger that Merlin had been using to fuel his resolve to remain calm, was flooding away. "Well, weren't you just a little too casual boy?"

"My…my mistake." Merlin managed to squeak. He felt suddenly like he was being crushed in the pressure of room, and his emotions were flaring dangerously and seemingly randomly. He suddenly felt hormonal, fearful and deeply upset. It was as if Udovic was controlling his very mood, and was using it to bend him at his will.

Merlin shuddered as a hand traced his way up around to his neck, stroking his collar bone and trailing up his neck line to feel his jaw. All of his muscles were now clenched in tight tension, as Merlin tried to steady his breathing. He physically now felt like he was actually being crushed. Taking in a deep breath, which sounded like a gasp he forced his voice out, ignoring the fact that it was wavering dangerously. "I really had better be going Sire….If you would please excuse me."

"Now why would I do that?" Udovic's nose brushed the back of his neck and Merlin gave out a tight murmur of discomfort, his hands and teeth clenching, as the man behind him chuckled. "I've just started, after all."

-

Arthur threw himself down the corridor at top speed, his cheeks bright red with fury and fists shaking with rage. That bastard Udovic had dared to try to force himself on Gwen, and then even threatened to rape her if she showed her face again to him! Arthur would tear him into pieces for his actions, he was so angry!

He had just been to Udovic's chambers only to find them empty. Furiously he had ransacked his brain for the most likely place that the other would be and had finally heard from Cecilia, who he met during his travels to nowhere, that Udovic had gone to meet with Arthur and speak with him.

Which meant that the bastard was waiting to spring an attack on him in his room.

Finally reaching his chambers, after what seemed like an age, he ran straight up to the door and threw the entrance open, storming in. The sight that greeted him however made him stop dead in his tracks, and his eyes widened.

Stood before him was indeed Udovic, as he had expected, but he was no alone. Merlin was directly in-front of the man, staring forward to the doorway, his whole body tensed with Udovic's hands on his ribs and upper shoulder. The boy's face was white as a sheet, and he looked vaguely faint, his eyes wide like that of a trapped animal. Arthur could see that the boy was trembling very slightly, and that his teeth were clenched tightly together. Udovic was smiling that disgusting, devil like smile, and it was only because of this that Arthur was able to snap himself out of his shocked stupor and speak.

"What the hell is going on here!?" He demanded and almost immediately Udovic had pulled back, in a swift, but calm movement, away from Merlin who physically drooped in relief, as if he'd been being smothered.

"Your servant and I were having a chat." Henry replied and Arthur stared daggers to him before turning and glaring at Merlin who looked like he was barely able to stay up. Hadn't the idiot listened to a word Arthur had said to him this morning!? Was he so completely deranged!?

Very slowly Merlin looked up, and his eyes caught with Arthur's. The boy's anger momentarily subsided as he saw the true, raw fear in Merlin's gaze, and instantly the Prince became very, very troubled. His throat clenched a little but he cleared it, and spoke in his most authoritative voice. "You're services will not be required anymore tonight Merlin, you can go. I believe Gaius was looking for you." He spoke evenly, watching as the black haired boy nodded his head, quickly, and in his usual clumsy movements, headed out through the door and into the corridor. The moment he was out of sight Arthur heard him run, and only when he was sure the other was far away enough did he turn back to Udovic.

"You son of a bitch." He bit and Udovic smiled.

"You're not jealous, are you?" He jibed, but Arthur ignored him, storming forward and grabbing him by the front of his doublet. He had never physically assaulted Udovic, but things would change quickly at this rate.

"How dare you! We welcome you into our castle, and what do you do!? Assault my, and Morgana's staff, threaten them – scare them! How dare you!"

"Come, come." Udovic smiled, "They're servants – it's their place to please their masters. As for assaulting your staff I didn't lay a hand on the girl, Gwen. I asked she took of her clothes, and let her go when she didn't. I am not a rapist Arthur, my boy."

"Is that so, then what about your threat to force yourself on her if she returned?!"

"Lies." Udovic said simply, "I was embarrassed. You would be too, in my position. I've never been denied before. Honestly, I would not force myself on someone – if servants don't come quietly than I am not interested. I won't touch them."

"Then what about Merlin!?"

"Merlin? Is that his name? Pray, isn't that a type of bird?" Udovic seemed to wonder, but Arthur shook him hard, forcing him to look around again into the Prince's angry face.

"What did you do to him?"

"Nothing."

"Don't 'nothing' me, he looked half freaked to death!"

"My reputation has grown amongst your servants, Arthur. It's hardly surprising if they're afraid of me – I don't let mine run wild you see, unlike yours." Udovic grinned, "Servants are like dogs, they need to be reminded who their master is. But if it really upsets you, we can talk to your father about it, if you like. I'm sure he'll agree with me though – after all he knows I would _never_ lay my hands on an unwilling soul. Right?" Udovic cupped Arthur's face, tipping it upwards as he lent in. Carefully he flicked out his tongue to the exposed skin, and Arthur shoved him roughly back with a loud cry and stalked to the other side of the room, up to the wall. Leaning against it he tried to control himself and he heard Udovic laugh.

"What's the matter, have I upset you?"

"Get out." Arthur bit, trying to hold his temper down. Of course Udovic was right, Arthur could do nothing to harm him, because it was Udovic's word against a servant. The only way for Arthur to be able to prove the fact that Udovic was a monster would be to confess his own experiences and…and he couldn't do that. He just couldn't. It was too hard. "Get out." He repeated and Udovic sighed, still not moving. Arthur couldn't see him, but he heard the other pick up Arthur's jug of water and pour himself a glass, gulping it down quietly and slowly, as if his throat were parched. Arthur began to shake, he couldn't contain himself for much longer, he needed Udovic out.

Then, after a long pause, Arthur heard the door open and he felt the heavy presence leave the room. He took in a deep gulp of air, as if he'd been denied and put his head against the wall, his fingers, which had been scrunched into fists relaxing. For a long moment he stayed like this, so relieved to be finally alone. And then his trance was suddenly broken as he heard a sound from behind him.

Immediately he spun around, arm raised ready to strike Udovic, but instead of the man, Morgana was stood instead, eyes wide and round with fright at this sudden violent action. Arthur stared at her, and lowered his arm slowly. "Morgana." He said, and his voice croaked. He cleared it and tried again, "What are you doing here?"  
"I…I came to speak to you…And met Merlin on the way – he looked as if he'd seen a ghost. What happened Arthur…Are you alright?"

"Fine." He responded, folding his arms, "I just had a talk with Udovic."

"I spotted him exiting your room…" The girl was silent for a moment, and she suddenly looked very uneasy. "He was grinning Arthur, grinning like some sort of maniac. What did he do to you?"

"I addressed him on the situation with Gwen, and warned him not to do it again. I'm afraid I can't do much more than that." Arthur half evaded the question, watching as Morgana's eyes flashed with anger at the mention of Udovic's treatment of Gwen.

"We have to tell Uther! We'll have that man cast out of the castle-"

"-We can't Morgana." Arthur answered, and he realised all too late how defeated he sounded. "It's Gwen's word against Udovic….and technically, in the eyes of the law, when judging his position he didn't do anything wrong."

"Didn't do anything wrong!? Are you listening to yourself!? After how he treated Gwen, you're just going to stand by and say it's fine!?"

"For God's sake Morgana, no it's not fine!" Arthur yelled directly into her face. There was a shattered silence and then he crossed over to the table and hunched over it, trying to control himself. Morgana watched him carefully, her forever perceptive eyes seeing deeper into him than he would have liked.

"...He did do something to you, didn't he?"

"No."

"He did, when I came in here you looked so…frightened, and Merlin too. And his expression when he came out – he must have done something."

"I did not look frightened."

"Yes you did – I saw."

"You didn't see anything of the sought-"

"-Arthur, I saw _something_ – whether that was fear, or pain, or unease can go and hang. What's important is that I know I did." Morgana gripped his hands, pulling him away from the table "That man…he can only mean bad things!"

"…"

"Arthur please!"

"I know Morgana…But what can I do about it!?" He tore himself away from her, "I hate him as much as you do now – probably more in-fact, but did you see how happy my Father was!? You think he would listen to me above Udovic?"

"There's something evil about him – I can feel it, something inhuman."

"Are you accusing him of sorcery now too!?" Arthur demanded, whirling around and staring at her. And for a moment he wished with all his might that she would say yes, that she would nod her head and give some sort of evidence. He wanted for her and him to march to Uther's chambers and make him face the truth, sit through his deep upset, and stand by him as he made his verdict on Udovic's crimes. For a moment Arthur had never wanted anything more in the entire world, and then he clamped down on his wild fantasy and stared to Morgana with the blankest expression he could. But as he did her expression had already changed. She was staring to him, eyes wide and startled like a scared deer, her hands clasped together as if she had only just realised a horrific truth.

"Helplessness…" She muttered, and the word seemed to crash down on Arthur's shoulders like a great weight. "These last few nights I've been dreaming about helplessness…but I never thought…not you…." She stared to him long and hard, and her eyes began to well up with tears. "Not you Arthur."

"What…What are you talking about?" He asked, but Morgana just shook her head, soundlessly.

"It doesn't matter." She pulled herself up to her full height, turning away, "I'm just upset about Gwen…I…Sorry. I'm going now. Don't worry about it Arthur, it doesn't matter – I'll see you tomorrow."

And before he could say anything else she had left the room and Arthur was left alone. He stared after her, to the empty doorway for a long moment and then sagged, putting a hand to his head with a small laugh.

"Helplessness, huh?" He muttered, under his breath. "I suppose that's what I am. God… Dammit."

"_I__ met Merlin on the way – he looked as if he'd seen a ghost."_

He jerked up as Morgana's words floated into his head and he felt anger boil through him. Turning around he marched toward the doorway and out into the corridor, toward the stairs.

_-_

When he finally reached Gaius's tower it took him all his self control not to barge in. Instead he forced his hand up to knock, and tried with all his might to remain patient as he waited for the response.

From the inside he heard the sound of a few muttered exchanges and then the door clicked open, and their stood Gaius. The man raised his eyebrows to the Prince when he saw him, but he didn't appear surprised as he gave a short bow, and silently allowed him in.

The first thing that Arthur saw as he entered the room was that Merlin was sat beside the fire, wrapped up tightly in a blanket as if he were recovering from the flu, his face pale as death. As he caught eyes with Arthur, the Prince was still able to see the faint outline of the boy's previous fear, and it sickened him in a way that he couldn't describe. "Are you an idiot?" The blonde asked, his tone harsh, but voice quiet. Merlin flinched a little, and then glared back to him.

"I needed to speak to you – I didn't know Udovic would sneak into your room!"

"Couldn't you have pretended to be some sort of…messenger, rather than my manservant!?" Arthur came forward, hissing his words. From behind Gaius closed the door and watched the two boys, his expression sober.

"I was going too…but he caught me tidying your room!"

"Great…the one time you're actually doing your job properly." Arthur rolled his eyes and put a hand to his head, "Still, couldn't you have at least _tried_ to lie?"

"Arthur you know I'm useless at lying." Merlin responded promptly, "And even if I had, and he hadn't caught me cleaning, your Father has been telling him about me."

"Great. So not only does he know you're my servant, he also knows you're an incompetent idiot. Just great!" Arthur nearly slammed his hand down against the table, but managed to stop himself in time. The piece of furniture didn't look like it would be able to handle a hit like that, and Arthur at least had to try and look like had had some semblance of control. There was a pause in which Merlin shifted uncomfortably, the action making Arthur begin to feel nervous. He darted his eyes across the black haired boy's body, and swallowed, feeling suddenly very flushed and worried. Looking around he caught sight of Gaius from the corner of his eye and cursed a little under his breath. "Would…Do you mind if you excuse us for a minute?" He asked, and Gaius shook his head. Arthur nodded and, grabbing Merlin by the arm. he yanked the surprised black haired boy up and dragged him across to his room.

Entering in he closed the door after himself and turned on Merlin, his voice hushed as he clasped the other's shoulders, looking him over. "What happened in there, before I arrived?" He asked, in the gentlest tones he could. He could feel panic trying to press its way into his words, but he forced it down.

"What?" Merlin asked, his voice also hushed, and quivering very slightly.

"I mean, did he do anything to you!? Anything at all?"

"N-no…he, well-"

"-What!? What did he do? Tell me!" Arthur asked hurriedly, his fingers digging into Merlin's arms. Almost instantly he regretted his own reaction though as Merlin shrank back in terror. The manservant was already in a very jumpy state after his in-counter with Udovic – Arthur couldn't push him. "Sorry…Just…He tried to force himself on Guinevere earlier on, and I was concerned he might…he…" Arthur coughed, awkwardly, unable to say the words. "…Maybe with you." He finished and looked to Merlin who was staring back, horror struck.

"He did _what_ to Gwen!?" The boy asked, outraged and Arthur let go of Merlin and walked to the other side of the room, picking his way through Merlin's own mess. "Are …are you serious!?"

"Perfectly. We found her crying in Morgana's room. I confronted Udovic about it, but unfortunately that's all I can do. Which leads me back to initial question, which you still haven't answered; did he do anything to you Merlin?"

"…No." The boy answered back in a quiet voice and Arthur turned on him, expression disbelieving.

"Don't lie to me…I've never seen you look more scared in your life, you looked freaked out of your wits. We've faced man eating monsters, for the love of God, that didn't impose on you that sort of reaction. So don't tell me it was nothing."

"I…" Merlin paused, and then slowly sank down onto his bed, his hands shaking. "He…" The boy paused, unable to finish the sentence. "He kept…_touching_ me."

Arthur flinched at these words and the action didn't go unnoticed by Merlin who began to rant, trying to resolve the shock of his first statement.

"He didn't hit me or anything." He ranted, "He just…sort of weighed me up. His hands were really cold…and…God Arthur, I don't know – his presence was just…Evil."

"But he didn't…" Arthur drew off, and the put his head in his hands, trying to even out his breathing and control himself. "He didn't do to you what he threatened to do to Gwen, did he?"

There was a shocked silence and then Merlin gave out a spluttered, startled sound of surprise, his eyebrows raised. "What!? No – _no!_ He…He was just…I don't know – _no_ Arthur. I swear to God, he didn't…he…He didn't even stray his hands down there – I mean…ugh." Merlin's face had flushed bright red and his expression was torn between horror, and disgust. Arthur felt himself physically relax, and putting his hand out he sought out the support of Merlin's bed post, using it to ease his passage down onto the bed. Seating himself next to the other boy he leant forward and put his head in his hands. He'd never known relief like this, but at the same time he felt an odd anger burn inside, deep within him. So Arthur was Udovic's only victim then. He had been singled out for this torture, alone. Arthur let out a low moan before looking to Merlin, begging for a distraction.

"Why…Why did you try to come and find me anyway?" He asked, and he sounded weary. Merlin's lips pursed, and he faced ahead, to the wall.

"I…I found about something which happened in Lamporth, when you were forced to stay there for two months."

"Oh, what was – hey, wait a minute, how did you know that?!" Arthur asked suspiciously and Merlin ducked his head.

"Know what?"

"That I was forced to stay at Lamporth for two months when I was younger?"

"I was asking about Udovic and…I just found out." Merlin replied, but the Prince detected that this wasn't the whole story. Sighing the blonde motioned for the other to continue. "Well…I found out about the fact that you had to watch a servant get beaten to death…"

Arthur paused, and then closed his eyes. Just the mere mention of it suddenly brought images crashing into his mind. Splintered bones, broken skin – the man's shrieks as he tried to run, but was circled in. The Prince could still remember Udovic's hand placed tightly on his shoulder, holding him in place.

"Arthur?"

"Hm?" He asked, opening his eyes, aware that his features were drawn back, as if he was wincing. He glanced over to his manservant who was watching him.

"How old were you?" Merlin's eyes were colourless in the faded light and Arthur strained to see some of his friend's features. In the darkness Merlin looked older than he should have, wiser, smarter too. The effect was eerie and Arthur had to look away.

"Ten." He responded. "I was ten."

"Oh my God."

"It's not so bad."

"Ten year olds should be running around carelessly in their gardens, going fishing, hell – chasing sheep, not watching people get beaten to death!"

There was a long pause, and then Arthur snorted, chuckling. Because although it was clear that Merlin had intended that the last statement be dramatic and piercing, Arthur couldn't help himself from laughing. And once he had started, he couldn't stop. Merlin watched him as the Prince clutched his stomach.

"Did…-Did you say…chasing sheep?" The Prince finally managed to choke out and Merlin bit his bottom lip before smiling and nodding. "Is that what you used to do?"

"Oh yes. All the time, still do – great fun." The other nodded seriously and Arthur just laughed harder.

"You've led a sad life Merlin."

"I know." The other responded, as the tension lifted from the room. Slowly Arthur stood, shaking his head. "You going?"

"Yes. It's getting late, and I'm tired. I'll have someone else send me up some dinner…just stay out of sight for a while."

"Alright….Thank you." Merlin seemed somewhat relieved at this command and Arthur could sense that despite the fact they had been joking their previous conversation had not really left.

"Good night then." Arthur moved to the door, before pausing. "Oh, and Merlin?"

"Yes?"

"Just because I haven't said it yet today…" Arthur grinned as Merlin looked to him quizzically. "Shut up."

-

Merlin had to wait till the moon had risen to it's highest in the sky before he allowed himself to slip out of the tower, outside.

He walked steadily, making as little sound as he could. He was well practised with making this journey in the dark, and it seemed to him that he found his way to the entrance of the dark tunnel to the Dragon's layer without anymore than a few near walk ins with guards.

Grabbing a torch he made his way down the cold stairs, glad that he had had the sense to put on an extra layer.

Reaching the last step he jumped down and ventured deeper into the cave until he came face to face with the Dragon who was, unsurprisingly, waiting for him.

"**Ah, the ****young Warlock returns – as I knew he would."** The great Dragon tilted his head to the side and seemed to smirk down at Merlin who stared back up at him. Despite the Dragon acting in his usual cocky manner, Merlin sensed unease from the creature.

"So you felt it too." He muttered and the beast before him laughed.

"**Of course I felt it – even down here, far from everything, my senses are strong enough to reach out of these stone cells!"**

Merlin nodded – he wasn't surprised. When Udovic had been so close to him Merlin had had to use all of his self control to keep himself standing up, and up to the point that he had run out, to now, Merlin was almost definitely sure that it hadn't just been his own fear that had induced the feeling. He had felt like he was being manipulated – his emotions turned against him. He almost felt like he hadn't had control over his feelings, or even his body. But then, at the same time he had sensed no magic… Just something cold, and evil. Which was what was bothering him – Magic he could just about deal with, but an unknown force of this strength… "What ever it was it was induced on me, and I could barely control myself, it felt so…wrong. But I've never come across anything like this – something so negative. What was it?"

"**You are closer to the source, so it must be you who figures out what dangers lurks around Camelot this time."**

"So you think it is dangerous?"

"**You said so yourself boy – the force is something negative and evil****. Yes - Something dark is threatening this castle young Warlock, dark indeed."**

"You don't think it could have to do with Lord Udovic, do you?" Although Merlin posed the question, he had little doubts that there was a link.

"**I know not…All I can know for certain was that when that man came, so did a great evil."**

"Great…" Muttered Merlin, "As helpful as always – why can't these evil guys just give attacking Camelot a rest?"

**The great dragon just laughed, shaking his head. "You wou****ldn't understand, young Warlock, the darkest plague of all which sweeps the body is the uncontrollable power of the desire for revenge. And revenge they will have, or perish trying."**

_-_

**And that's all for now folks!**** Just quickly, because I'm sure some people will be confused, at one point Cecilia says to Merlin 'Well, well – if it isn't the brother.' Don't worry, I'm not going to somehow make it that Merlin and Arthur are actually siblings, Cecilia is just making a reference to a joke made in an earlier chapter where she and Arthur joke that perhaps Merlin is Arthur's long lost brother. Don't fret!**

**Anway, hopefully I'll update soon, but before I depart – a little taster for you all for the next instalment!**

_Arthur jerked away from the cold touch, but his body was too heavy. He eyed his half filled goblet with hooded eyes…It must have been that. _

'_I've been drugged…I can't…move!' _

_He realised in horror as a hand slipped around his midriff. _

_-_

"_Oh – Oh, what the hell, Arthur!" Merlin's face broke in disgust, "In the bed, did you have to- …Arthur? Arthur!? Oh, no, not again!" The manservant ran to the fallen Prince who was gasping for air. _

_-_

"_Lady Morgana! Morgana, please! Please calm down!" Gwen begged as Morgana shook her head, face pale and with a light sheen of sweat._

"_No no no!" She breathed, "He's dead! He is dead!"_

"_What… Who's dead?" Gwen blinked, "Who is dead, Lady Morgana?"_

_-_

_Arthur drew his blade back and pointed it directly to Udovic's throat, his eyes burning with fury. "Get up and face me." He said, voice cold as his blue eyes. _

"_Arthur, what the hell do you think you are doing!?" Uther demanded but the Prince couldn't hear his father over the roar of blood in his ears. His focus lay completely on the man sat before him, dressed – as he was, in nothing more than a light fabric tunic and no amour. The point of the sword quivered a little further into the skin of Udovic's throat. _

"_We end this now." The blonde hissed, eyes alight, "Pick up your sword, or die."_

_-_

_Merlin felt the whip crack down on his back again, and he arched away, unable to repress the cry of agony as it cut deep into the skin. _

_His eyes blurred as he stared up to the blue sky and he clenched his teeth shut. Never before had he wished he could use his magic this much._

_-_

"_Maybe if you weren't such a stupid idiot!" Arthur shouted, shaking Merlin's shoulders._

"_Well maybe if you weren't such an arrogant prick!"_

"_Say that to my face you piece of filth!"_

"_Alright then, fine! You, Arthur Pendragon, Prince of Camelot and heir to the throne are a complete and utter arrogant prick!!!"_


	7. Fury

**Hello everyone****, guess who's FINALLY back!? I am soooo sorry about the massive delay in posting this chapter; you will not believe how much stuff I have had to do! AS really is quite a bitch!**

**Ok, before I do my usual review replies I would like to say a huge thank you to **

**Authorqueen**** who beta-read this chapter for me, and oh so quickly! Thank you so much Queenie, you're fantastic!**

**And now, talking of fantastic people – reviewers I have got replies for you all!**

**FireChildSlytherin5**** – I hope you like this one just as much!**

**Loopylion14**** – Thanks! I try and make things as epic as I can, but most of the time I fail, so it's good to know I'm doing it right! Hopefully this chapter will also be succeed in capturing your interest.**

**Catindahat**** – Aha! The southeast! Excellent, tis very close. I'm glad that you hate Udovic, though recently I've become oddly fond of him…because he's a total bastard, but I find him really funny. He's quite kooky in his own way, but yes – he does totally deserve to die. Unfortunately I can't get it out of my head now that he's like Eddie Izzard, as one day when I was reading it to a friend I used his voice when speaking Udovic…It's a weird image that won't get out of my head now!**

**Eco Lin**** – Haha, yes, you're going to have to join a cue I'm afraid, as lots of people now want to kill Udovic. As for Gwen, yes…I often read Merlin/Arthur fanfics when she's totally disregarded and used as the slut character, or the bitch, or just treated with indifference, but I didn't think that that was right. I wanted to be as accurate as I could to the show, and at the very least Gwen is most definitely friends with Merlin and Arthur, and she's not a horrible person, she's very kind. I do really want people to pity her at that moment, because she deserves more credit as a character, and part of the story…Do you get what I mean?**

**Weihna**** – I'm glad that people are enjoying my 'tasters', it's good to know I can wet people appetites! Hopefully this chapter is up to standard! Thanks for the review. **

**Mimilafee**** – Haha….Sorry for disappearing off again! I'll try and make updates more regular now, I promise!**

**MakotoJinx**** – I love the idea of chasing sheep, and I love the idea of Merlin doing it even more! Thanks for so much postitive feed back on the moments you liked of the last chapter. Yes, I also like their little chat in the bed room, because Arthur is trying so hard to not show he cares, and he's so awkward…I just love those two!**

**Kittendragon**** – You might have to wait a little longer for that, :P**

**emiliexox**** – Finally, someone else who loves Udovic because he's so friggin' evil! I mean, I hate him, but seriously…you've got to love him at the same time!**

**Authorqueen**** – You know Arthur, he'd rather eat his own arm than admit that he might possibly be mentally scared. Life's a bitch to them all really…or, well, I am. :D**

**IsabelEmrys**** – Haha, I am sooo touched! How do you read fanfiction on your phone!? I'm technologically unable, so I the idea is mind boggling! Glad you like this story so much, I hope your enjoy this update!**

**MzPink**** – Eeeek! Sorry it took so long! O_o**

**SherryLynne**** – Haha, I have a feeling I'll make enemies of you all if I keep delaying updates! Sorry it took so long, enjoy!**

**mockingbird13**** - :D T'anks, glad you're enjoying it! Hope you like this one too! **

**Woot! Ok, right, so now that's done let's get to the nitty-gritty part. **

**Warning – This chapter contains gore, whipping, Violence, sexual implications and substances, and finally angst! Mwuhahah! ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer – All characters belong to English folk-lore, but in version of the Arthurian legend the BBC. I own only my own characters, one of whom everyone wants to kill. JOY! **

-

Gwen awoke to the shrill sounds of screaming. Sitting bolt upright she stared directly forward to the opposite wall, wide eyed, before leaping from her bed and charging toward her mistresses own. "Lady Morgana!" She said urgently, reaching the woman who was thrashing around wildly, wailing and shrieking in fear. "Morgana!" She grabbed her in an attempt to stop her moving, and shook her shoulder, pleading. "Morgana! Morgana – please wake up, it's a nightmare!"

Morgana gave out one final, piercing scream and then went still, her eyes flashing open. For an instant she was rigid, breathing hard and feverishly as Gwen tried to comfort her.

"It's alright, you're safe."

"No…" Morgana shook her head, jerking away, her breathing fast and shaky, eyes wide with terror. "It's coming…It's coming closer! We've got to…" She gave out another wail and pushed herself as far away from Gwen as she could. The distressed maid lent onto the bed and held her mistress securely.

"Lady Morgana, Morgana, please! Please calm down, it's really alright." She begged as Morgana continued to shake her head, her face still deathly pale and glistening with a light sheen of sweat.

"No no no!" She breathed, urgently, almost desperately. "He's dead! He is dead!"

"What… Who's dead?" Gwen blinked, "Who is dead, Lady Morgana?"

Morgana didn't reply, she simply gave out a long moan and flopped back onto the pillows, her eyes darting around the room. Gwen stared to her mistress in horror before placing a hand on her brow. Morgana's skin was on fire. Gwen pulled her fingers back quick as lightening and leapt of the bed in a great panic.

Unsure of what to do for a moment she stood frozen, torn between running for aid or staying with her friend. Finally she made up her mind and darted to the door. Gwen stopped only to look briefly back to Morgana who was now quietly thrashing her arms and legs, her movements now slow and almost lamb like they were so weak and awkward. "I'll be right back." The darker skinned girl whispered, before rushing out into the corridor and running for all she was worth.

Unfortunately it was still to early in the morning for any of the servants to be about, and Gwen was forced to run the whole way to Gaius's tower on her own, conscious of the fact that all the time she was away Morgana was left alone in her feverish, ill state.

Climbing the last few stairs, Gwen threw herself at Gaius's door, knocking for all she was worth, her back arched as she hammered her fists into the door. "Gaius!" She called, "Gaius! It's me! Please, you must come quickly! The lady Morgana is very unwell!"

There was a moment where nothing happened, and then the door opened and Gaius was stood there, looking slightly bedraggled. He was wearing the clothes that he had worn the previous day, and from the look of him you could tell that he had fallen asleep in them last night, no doubt whilst studying some book on anatomy. From behind him Merlin appeared from his own room, rubbing his eyes, his hair sticking up at odd angles.

"Gwen? What is it? Did you say the Lady Morgana is unwell?" Gaius asked, and Gwen nodded quickly, tears of panic practically streaking down her face.

"Yes! You must come quickly, she's in a terrible state! She has a fever, and she is delirious! Please, I beg you."

"Of course my girl, of course." Gaius dove back into the room, with a surprising amount of speed for one of his age, and began to gather together several things. Merlin came forward, toward Gwen who was stood edgily in the doorway.

"What's happened? Is Morgana alright?" The boy asked in a quiet voice.

"No…I mean I don't know…I…She was fine last night, I swear, or I would have had Gaius come and look at her sooner." Gwen sniffed, her pretty face spoiled by her tears as she suppressed her sobs. Merlin nodded, and then stooped down and started putting on his shoes.

"Don't worry, it's alright." He assured as Gaius came back around, carrying a small bag of necessities. Merlin took it from him, and swung it over his shoulder, the two moving quickly after Gwen who led the way, her movements impatient and constantly threatening to break into a sprint which Gaius couldn't follow.

When they reached Morgana's room, however, they were all shocked to see that woman was in fact seated up in bed, her face normal in colour and her eyebrows raised, as if she was simply mildly startled by them bursting into her domain.

"Lady Morgana!" Gwen said and dove to the woman, who stared at her bemused.

"What on earth is the matter?" Morgana asked as Gwen put a desperate hand to her forehead, before drawing back, shock on her face. "Gwen? Are you alright?" Uther's young ward asked, "Are you unwell?"

"Gwen thought that perhaps you were unwell, actually Lady Morgana." Gaius came forward, and following Gwen's example, put his hand to Morgana's forehead as the young girl laughed.

"Really? I feel fine."

"But…But you were…Only a few minutes ago…-" Gwen stammered and Morgana stared to her again, expression one of genuine confusion.

"Did I have a nightmare? Oh Gwen, I must have scared you, there's really no need to fear. You know how I am." She laughed again, "Silly me, I can't even remember what I dreamt of…Oh Gwen, I'm so sorry. I must have given you a scare."

"Hm." Gaius pulled his hand away, "You have a slight fever my Lady. I advise that you stay in bed and rest until further notice."

"Really? I do feel fine."

"I insist. Thank you for alerting me of this now Gwen, it is better to catch these things early on. I will fix you some medicine my Lady, and ask that you please rest for today."

"Well…if you say so." She sounded unsure, but tucked herself in, despite it. "I feel fine though."

"I'm sure." He put his bag to the side, before looking to Gwen. "Don't worry my dear." He added, as he saw her expression, "You're hands were probably cold, making the fever feel worse, and the Lady was delirious in the wake of her dream."  
"Yes…I…I'm sorry Gaius." She said in a small voice. "I should have…checked properly…." She trailed off, and bowed her head, because despite her words, her head was reeling with contradictory language.

'_I know what I felt…My hands weren't cold, I know…I know what I felt, I know what I saw!'_

The servant thought furiously to herself as Merlin gave her a fleeting, encouraging smile before exiting with Gaius.

'_I'm sure, dammit!'_

-

"Well that was weird." Merlin stated, rather unhelpfully as he and Gaius made their way back across to their tower. The boy yawned, stretching. "But I'm relieved…I thought something really bad had happened. Now the excitements all over I might just go back to bed."

"Now where would be the point of that?" Gaius raised his eyebrows to the boy who blinked back, suddenly weary. "I need help preparing a potion you know."

Merlin groaned, "But…But my bed-"

"-Will still be there tonight when you've done a decent days work." The other goaded, before adding, "And don't pout, you look very silly."

"I am not pouting."

"Yes you are."

"I am not!" Merlin insisted, receiving a playful cuff around the ear. "Ow!"

"Serves you right. Now come on boy, there are plenty of things to be done before the sun rises properly."

Merlin groaned, "I shouldn't have bothered coming at all."

-

It was at least an hour later before Merlin found himself trudging back up to Morgana's chambers, carrying a small little vile of medicine for the young ward.

Reaching her room he knocked – as Gaius had reminded him to do just before he left – and waited. There was a pause and then Gwen opened the door.

"Oh, Merlin – hello." She smiled to him, her expression a little watery and he nodded his head in return.

"Here, I brought this." He held up the bottle of potion, "For Morgana."

"Thank you." Gwen took it, before looking over her shoulder to Morgana who was asleep again, expression peaceful. "Should I wake her now?"

"No – she should take it with food."

"Oh…Alright then." Gwen paused, biting her bottom lip and Merlin frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Can…Can I talk to you for a minute?" She asked in a whisper, and he nodded. Quietly she slipped out of the room, through the doorway and shut it behind her.

Taking a hold of his hand she led him out down through the corridor, toward the stairway. Pulling him a little she guided him to the side, into the shadow of a pillar and spoke to him in a hushed voice. "Look, I am going to sound quite mad when I say this but… Merlin, I know what I saw this morning! The Lady Morgana was terrified, she had an awful nightmare and she was very ill – her skin was boiling, I swear it! And then…It was as if she was instantly cured – But that can't be, it's impossible! Please Merlin, something is devastatingly wrong. I know it can't have just been me! You have to believe me!"

Merlin stared to the desperate look in the girls eyes and sighed. "What was the dream about?"

"I don't know, she doesn't remember – no…Wait, when I awoke her originally she recalled her dream, but I didn't get many details from her."

"What did she say?"

"She was…She kept repeating that somebody was dead."

Merlin felt a little panic trail itself through him at these words. "Who's dead?" He asked, and Gwen shook her head.

"I don't know!" She replied, "Please Merlin, you have to believe me…Yesterday she was…She was telling me that she felt like there was something very evil was in the castle. She was talking about…Lord Udovic. She said that he frightened her, that there was something…wrong about him." Gwen looked close to tears, "Now she doesn't even remember."

Merlin stared to her, and then very slowly out stretched his arms and took her in an embrace. "It's…It's ok Gwen. I believe you."

"He's evil Merlin – that man is evil."

"Evil, am I?" A voice suddenly spoke from the side and both servants cried out, leaping away from each other in terror, and snapping their heads to the side, where Udovic was leaning against the pillar, looking to them both. "That's not very nice, is it? Whispering about me like that in the shadows, eh, Guinevere?" He asked, his grey eyes gleaming in the half light.

From beside him Merlin felt Gwen stop dead, her breathing stilled and body quivering. "My…M-my Lord, I didn't h-hear you." She stammered and he whistled quietly in response.

"As I've said before, I'm always very quiet. It works to my advantage you see – it means that I am able to sneak up on people when they're conspiring against me."

"Con…Conspiring – No, I…I swear, we were just…We were just-"

"-Putting words in the Lady Morgana's mouth, as far as I'm concerned." Udovic cut across her. "She and I are close friends indeed, and as such I would be at a complete mystery as to why she would call me 'evil', little Guinevere."

"She didn't Sire, she just-"

"-Oh, she _didn't_? I see. So the one who is calling me evil…Is you?"

Gwen's eyes were wide now, and she had backed up into the wall, terror clear in her face as Udovic advanced slowly toward her. "I'm…My Lord I…I…" Her voice drowned away.

"It's a rather…daring accusation to make, as a servant, don't you think?" Udovic took another step, "Claiming that I am evil – you've got a lot of courage in you to profess that so boldly. I'm a little hurt…" He leered at her, his eyes sparkly. "Put yourself in my situation." He put out his hand toward her face, there were now only a few inches apart. "Imagine if you were just going about your morning routine when you heard two little voices whispering in the corner, and you heard that they were speaking about you." He leaned in, "And you heard one of them call you _evil._ Wouldn't you be hurt?"

Gwen could no longer argue now, she was speechless with fear, her whole body paralysed, eyes wide and bottom lip quivering. However before Udovic could touch her, Merlin had stepped between them, forcing the other back, his whole body shaking with rage.

"That would never happen." He hissed to the older man before him, "Gwen would never be called evil, because she isn't. But you…you're called only what you are." Merlin spat, breathing hard, his blue eyes barring into the man as his chest heaved. "What you've done and what you _continue_ to do will never be forgiven, as long as you live. And mark my words, the day will come when you'll be called to answer for your crimes, and on that day…You will fall."

There was a long, shocked pause, and then Udovic smiled. "I will fall, will I?" He uttered, and his eyes caught with Merlin's. In that instant, Merlin once more felt the push of fear crushing him, but he forced it away. Udovic raised his eyebrows, and gave out a long laugh. "You're braver than you look Merlin." He smiled, and then next sound he had grabbed the other by the arm and pulled it up behind the boy's back, forcing him forward. "And I know just the cure." Udovic said smugly as the other cried out, struggling away from the man's tight grip. Udovic caught eyes with a still frozen Gwen, "You have good friends indeed, Guinevere – aren't you a lucky girl? This boy can take the whipping in your place, as he seems to be keen." He smirked and then began to march down the corridor, dragging a fighting Merlin easily along with him.

"Wait! No! Stop!" Gwen called, and Merlin forced himself to look around, catching her eye.

"Don't bother Gwen, it doesn't matter!" He shouted, "It's not worth it, I'll be fine!"

"But Merlin-!"

"Just go Gwen!" Merlin shouted as he was forced around a corner with Udovic laughing as he dragged the young servant, "Don't worry about me! I'll be fine!" The boy repeated, his cheeks coloured with determination and anger. "Let go of me!" He hissed to Udovic who raised his eyebrows.

"Why should I?"

"You won't get away with this!"

"On the contrary – I will. Sad world for a servant, isn't it, _Mer_lin." He grinned, before bending the boy's arm up even higher, causing him to shout out. "Come on – it's not far." He said joyously, as he continued to lug the other forward, his stride long and fast. "Now, on a scale of one to ten – how nasty do think I should be?" He mused as they moved, "Oh wait! Of course, I'm _evil_, aren't I? Cat-o-nine-tails it is then!"

For the first time Merlin actually felt himself grow fearful as he realised suddenly, exactly what was happening. A Cat-o-nine-tails, a whip designed for torture and torture alone. Just one strike from it and his skin would be lacerated, broken and bleeding from the nine long, sharp braided leather cords, and who knew how many times Udovic would have him lashed.

'_Stay strong.'_

He thought fiercely to himself as he and Udovic moved out of the castle, down the long stairs toward the dungeon. As they neared the bottom, Henry let go of Merlin quite suddenly, and shoved him violently forward, causing the other to trip and tumble down the last few stones steps.

Landing hard on his stomach he gasped for air, twitched from the pain of having his arms, and most predominately his ribs slammed so forcibly against the stonework. Next second someone had grabbed him by his hair and forced him up, the action causing him to cry out as two guards appeared and rushed forward, looking a mixture of both surprised and confused.

"Good morning Gentleman." Udovic barked and they immediately bowed to him. "That's better – now, I've got a little something for you to do with yourself this fine day."

"Excuse me, my Lord?" the guards asked, eyeing Merlin. They knew Arthur's manservant well enough, as they'd put him in the stocks enough times, but they held no hard feelings to the boy – after all, it was nearly impossible to do so when he joked so cheerfully, even during his punishments.

"The boy's in need of a good lashing." Udovic continued optimistically, "There's a chamber for that down here, isn't there?"

"No Sire…it's just outside."

"Splendid!" Udovic clapped his hands, "Lead the way."

Carefully the two guards looked to one another and then both to Merlin who stared back, breathing hard, one eye squinted in pain and a hand clutched to his side. After a long moment the Guards moved, leading Udovic down a small passage way, which in-turn pulled up into a small open square outside, on the lower lands of the castle grounds. Merlin saw that there were several posts in the centre, all with iron shackles on them, and his stomach turned.

"Tie him up there then." Udovic said, dropping Merlin to the floor. Again the Guards paused, clearly puzzled, before one took a hold of the young boy and helped him up, guiding him to the post, and all the while shooting the question, with his eyes, of what exactly Merlin had done in order to receive this punishment. Merlin tried to keep his face neutral, but he was beginning to shake.

Carefully his hands were shackled so that he was kneeling in-front of the post, his back to both Udovic and the other guard. He could hear Udovic speaking.

"This boy has done a great offence, and I want him whipped well – I'll be observing the damage myself to make sure the task was completed to perfection – you understand?"

"Yes My Lord..." There was a beat, "What exactly has the boy done? Theft? Assault?"

"No…It's just that he must just learn his place." Was the cheery reply, "Now, a cat-o-nine-tails would do grandly, so if you please...!"

Again, there was a long pause, in which Merlin tried his best to still his breathing and stop himself shuddering. From beside him the Guard gave him a long, and measured look, and then spoke. "We haven't got one of those, My Lord." He said evenly and Merlin felt himself almost collapse with relief. He saw, from the corner of his eye that the two Guards had exchanged glances just before they had spoken to Udovic, and knew without a doubt that infact, the truth was, they did have a cat-o-nine-tails, they just didn't think it was appropriate to wield it now. Merlin had never been more thankful to the guards before in his life, and they had let him out of the stocks early on more than one occasion.

Udovic physically deflated with disappointment. "Oh well then…You'll have to make do with a bull whip I suppose – and if you don't have one of those either, I can supply you with my own."

There was a pause, and Merlin put his head against the post, his hands tightening into fists.

"Very well my lord." One of the Guards disappeared, and when he returned he had a whip in hand. Merlin felt bile rise up his throat, and he looked away, his breathing ragged. He was half expecting them to rip away the back of his jacket, and shirt, but the Guards did not, and Merlin understood that they were trying to lessen the pain, and damage as much as they could, by allowing the boy the little protection his clothes would offer.

"How many lashes, my Lord?" The Guard asked, and Udovic paused for a minute.

"Do one now." He ordered and the Guard nodded, probably assuming that Udovic only meant for Merlin to get struck once, but the manservant knew better…Udovic was assessing how hard the Guard was going to be.

Closing his eyes Merlin hugged the post and waited, muttering a silent prayer under his breath that it wouldn't be to bad, that he would be fine, that this was really all just something that would blow over, that –

- He heard the crack a second before fiery, stinging pain exploded along his back and he slammed his teeth together, nearly biting his own tongue clean in two. "Nnnhg!" He gasped through his clenched jaw, his how body tensing and eyes already watering. He couldn't keep his face dignified now, his pain and fear would be evident to anyone who looked.

From behind he heard a slow hand clap, "Excellent, a good strength. A few more will do the boy good."

The guard sounded uneasy, "How many more?"

Udovic seemed to consider it for a long moment, "Well just keep going until you're told to stop." He stated, "Now, I'm off to get some breakfast."

'_What!?'_

Merlin screamed in his own mind as he looked around, Udovic was walking back toward the entrance of the dungeon, calling over his shoulder as he moved.

"Come, come gentleman – don't get lazy now. Get whipping." He stopped for a moment and looked around, "Because I'm sure I don't need to tell you what I'll do if I find out that you've disobeyed me."

Merlin turned away at that point, wondering to himself, quite seriously, if he was going to die. He would have vomited, but he had nothing in his stomach.

The second whip came too quickly, and he felt his jacket tear along with it as he tried with all his force to hold his voice down.

'_Oh God…this is it…Oh God, it hurts so much.'_

Merlin felt the whip crack down on his back again, once again much too quickly, leaving him no time to recover from the previous hit. He arched away from the pain, unable to repress the cry of agony this time as the whip cut deep into the skin, tearing easily through his jacket and leaving a line of deep stinging pain across his shoulders.

His eyes blurred as he stared up to the blue sky and he clenched his teeth shut. Never before had he wished he could use his magic this much. Holding onto the shackles for support he tried to pull himself upright, so that the he had less pressure pulling up through him, but was unable to, such was the pain. The whip cracked down again, and his cry of pain turned into a whimper as he collapsed against the pillar, scratching at the woodwork with his nails as he tried to pull himself up once more. Beside him the Guard looked away, his face contorted with fury and sorrow. Merlin didn't blame him, or the one doing the actions, but that didn't stop the fact that he wanted nothing more than to blast them both away as the whipping continued.

By the time of the seventh whip Merlin was close to sobbing, tears streaming down his face as he cried out with every blow, his back streaking with blood which was starting to dribble down onto the ground.

"How long is that bastard going to be?" One of the guards hissed as Merlin gave out a loud, shuddering cough, spluttering and sniffing in terror, and agony. He couldn't even find the strength to force himself up now, and the pressure up through his arms, shoulder and down to his ribcage was almost as unbearable as the screaming burning of his back.

"Does he want us to kill the boy?" The other replied, and the first swore, whipping Merlin again.

"**Arg!**" Merlin shouted, his chest heaving. He knew that the guard was trying to be gentle, but a whip was a whip, no matter how nice you tried to be, and the damage was already done. The boy went completely limp, hanging off the post by the cuffs around his skinny wrists, and nothing else.

'_No more destiny…No more Emrys…No more building a better future together with Arthur…this is it…They're going to whip me until I'm dead.' _

He thought as he felt his eyes roll backward into his skull.

-

Gwen ran for all she was worth, once more, along the corridors of the castle. She pushed passed servants uncaringly, knocking things over as she went, but none of it mattered, not at that moment.

Reaching Arthur's door she burst into his room unannounced, uncaring of his state of dress or anything. She found him asleep in his bed, blissfully unaware of any of the morning's events.

"Arthur!" She cried and his eyes flickered open, as he looked around tiredly, trying to search for the source of the sound. Gwen ran right up to his bed and pulled at the covers, shaking him, so that he sat up, hair sticking up at odd angles and stared at her, eyes narrowed with sleep.

"…Gwen?" He asked, before yawning, "What is it?" He enquired, stretching before glancing around, "Is something wrong?"

"Yes! Something's wrong, please! You have to help! It's terrible, get up now!" Gwen begged and the other stared to her, still clearly not fully conscious as he blinked.

"Right…" He responded, before glancing, one more, around his chambers. "Where's Merlin?" He asked, ignoring Gwen's previous request.

"That's the thing!" Gwen shouted loudly and Arthur jumped at the sudden volume in her voice. "Udovic's got him!"

"…What?! What's he done now?!" Instantly Arthur was a little more alert at the mention of the man.

"Udovic over heard Merlin and I talking about him, and didn't take it well. I said that he was evil, but before he could go to punish me Merlin stepped in the way and protected me, and now Udovic's taken him. He's going to have him whipped!"

"What!?" Arthur was out of bed like a flash, grabbing a plain tunic shirt from the side and pulling it on, his movements urgent. "When?! Where!? How long ago did this happen!?"

"A few minutes, I came as fast as I could! Udovic took him down to the dungeons, please Arthur! You have to hurry, you have to stop them! Merlin can't take a whipping…he can't!"

"I'm on it." Arthur replied, straightening from where he'd put his trousers on and was fastening his belt, having dressed in record breaking time. Grabbing his sword and long brown jacket he marched out into the corridor, setting both into place before breaking out into a run toward the stair way.

Leaping down the last few steps he tore into the courtyard, taking a short cut toward the dungeons. He knew where they would take Merlin to be punished, and he had to get there fast.

He heard the sound of the whips and the cries of pain before he could see it and the very noise made his stomach clench as he forced himself on faster, sprinting along the stone corridors before breaking out into the clear opening.

"**Stop!**" He shouted, **"Stop this!"**

The shout echoed into the stone corridor behind him, making the effect more dramatic, and someone eerie, but Arthur didn't notice that. All he could see was Merlin slumped, motionless against the post, his back exposed through the torn shreds of his jacket, and bloodied. The Guard slowly lowered his whip, and Arthur had never seen anybody look so relieved. He understood that these men had been ordered to do this by Udovic, but that didn't make him any less angry.

"Get him down from there! Right now!" He commanded and the other Guard quickly went to the boy's side and unshackled him. Merlin slumped, but in the time that it had taken the Guard to untie him, Arthur had crossed the clearing and was by his side, supporting him.

"…Arthur?" he mumbled, his eyes half closed and the Prince's mouth drew into a thin line as he pulled off his cloak and threw it over the other boy's shoulders.

"Yes, it's me." He replied calmly, "Can you walk?"

"I…Uh…" Merlin attempted to stand, but his legs gave way from beneath him and he fell, Arthur catching him and gently lowering him onto his knees again. "…No." The dark haired boy gave a weak chuckle, his voice hoarse and quiet.

"Just preserve your strength." The blonde replied, before sliding his arm under Merlin's shoulder, causing the boy to cry out as Arthur heaved him up, and with the help of the guard, picked him up completely.

"No…Arthur – don't." Merlin tried to struggle, but his attempts were weak and he could do little else but accept the fact that he was being carried. Arthur turned his attention to the guards who were looking nervous.

"Lord Udovic ordered you to do this, is that correct?"

"Yes my Lord."

"How many lashes?"

"…We were to keep going until he returned and told us to stop."

Arthur's fingers tightened around where they were gripping Merlin. "That bastard." He hissed, "Where did he go?"

"For breakfast my Lord…My Lord, we had no choice. He will punish us for stopping now, please believe us – we didn't want to-"

"-I am the Prince of Camelot." His voice was authoritative, "You will not be punished, and I assure you of that, you are not to blame and I will defend you should a problem arise. Now get back to your duties."

"Yes Sire." They bowed and hurried away, leaving Arthur standing there, Merlin in his arms.

Looking down to the boy, who now had his eyes closed, his breathing still rapid and laboured Arthur cursed and set off at a steady pace toward Gaius's tower, all the while trying not to jog Merlin who was clearly in terrible pain.

Reaching the door Arthur had no free arms to knock, and so kicked it several times, before forcing his way in, having no time, or patience to lose waiting. Gaius was halfway across the threshold, moving to answer when Arthur entered, carrying his physician's ward.

"Dear God, what's happened!?" Gaius demanded as Arthur moved forward quickly, Merlin's eyes cracking open.

"Hey Gaius." The warlock rasped, "It's fine, I'm just a little-"

"-He's been whipped." Arthur cut across him, "And God knows how many times at that." He added as Gaius paled in horror.

"Eighteen times."

"What!? Jesus Christ!" Arthur roared at this and Merlin winced as he was eased, in an up-right seated position, onto the bed.

"It's ok…they were being gentle."

"Gentle!? It's a _whipping_ Merlin, not a walk in the park!" Arthur argued furiously, his anger clear in his face, "Gentle you say! Look at you!"

"Trust me…it was." Merlin replied, closing his eyes and sagging forward as Arthur quickly dove to catch him and straighten him up. "I think if it hadn't…I would be dead."

"You would have been if you'd been sat there for anything more than five more minutes. Eighteen times – _Eighteen times!?_ Do you know how _lucky_ you are?!"

"For being whipped eighteen times…No, I can't imagine." Merlin's voice was dark with sarcasm, before he cried out in agony as Gaius removed his jacket and shirt, Arthur holding the boy steady whilst the physician worked.

"How did this happen boy? What did you do?" Gaius asked as he stared at the bloody mess of the boy's back.

"I defended Gwen…Udovic was…Udovic-…"

"-Don't talk." Arthur said gently, before glancing up to Gaius who was looking grave. "Is he going to be alright?"

"The Guards must have been being gentle, the whips cut his skin, but there isn't too much muscle damage. The best I can do is clean the wounds and bind them, then it will be up to him to recover."

Merlin gave out a long pained groan, and buried his head into Arthur's shoulder, gasping for air.

"Hold him upright while I clean and bandage these – and try and keep him secure, this will hurt."

Merlin, upon hearing this gave out a long humorous laugh which sounded like the cross between a whine and a sob. Arthur sat down and, sliding his arms underneath Merlin's shoulders he hooked his own up and pulled the other in tightly, holding him in place and keeping him as still as possible.

Gaius got to work immediately, cleaning the wounds and anointing them. As the blood was cleared away Arthur was able to see the full extent of the damage, and whilst he kept his face neutral he felt something twist with sickness in his stomach. The sight was far to similar to one he'd seen years and years ago, when, with Udovic's hand forced on his shoulder he had watched a man be beaten to death. Arthur swallowed as he felt Merlin squirm, twitching and struggling away from the pain as Gaius gently wiped the wounds, dabbing softly as they continued to lazily ooze blood.

When Gaius got to a particularly deep wound Merlin gave out a long, shuddering cry which turning into a hiss as he jerked away, and Arthur realised that the other had been holding his breath.

"Shhh, stop moving, it's ok." Arthur assured quietly and Merlin grabbed a fist full of the man's tunic, his breathing ragged and hard. "Talk to me Merlin."

There was a pause, and then the dark haired boy spoke weakly. "About what?"

"Anything. Everything – what ever you simple mind can conjure up."

"…You're a prat." Merlin offered and Arthur's eyebrows shot up with anger.

"_Mer_lin!"

"Sorry, just being truthful…it's the only thing that came to mind." The boy replied and Arthur blinked before looking to Gaius who also had his eyebrows raised.

"Stop being so gentle with him." Arthur said and Merlin gave a hushed laugh.

"No! No Arthur, don't! Don't increase my pain – it's bad enough as it is. Trust me, I've learnt my lesson."

"And that is?"

"Look both ways before you cross the street." Merlin replied with a watery chuckle and Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Well done for trying Merlin, but I'm afraid that isn't quite correct."

"Oh?"

"Yes, the answer is actually somewhat more relevant to your predicament - Don't call someone more powerful than you evil to their face – or a prat for that matter!"

"Oh…yeah, I suppose that's good advice too – Arg!" He arched away as Gaius began to bandage him tightly, "Oh – God, don't do that…Stop it!" Merlin struggled, his breathing panicked and coming out in short, desperate pants. "Gaius please!"

"It'll be over in a minute, stop being a baby." Arthur gripped the other hard, holding Merlin's head down into his shoulder as the other continued to wriggle and cry out. "Merlin! It's almost done, I know it hurts, but keep calm or you'll harm yourself."

Merlin suddenly went very limp in Arthur's arms and stopped moving all together. Fearing the other had fainted Arthur checked, but saw that Merlin was just slumped, eyes glossy and lips parted to reveal bite marks in the inside, no doubt where he'd bitten down to stop the pain. Quietly the boy began to mumble soft words, his voice never raising above a murmur and Arthur watched him worriedly. "Merlin?" The dark haired boy stopped.

"Yep?"

"…Are you…alright?" The blonde asked cautiously and Merlin just buried his face in the boy's shoulder again and continued to mumble, his only response a quick nod. As Gaius tightened the bandages Merlin's shoulders began to shake more and more and Arthur pulled him in tighter, keeping him steady until the physician had finished.

"Well, that went well. Most of the time they end up screaming like babies." Gaius noted and Arthur felt Merlin give out a shuddering breath of relief, though there was still a pained tension through out his body. "Lay him down on his stomach."

The Prince complied, helping Merlin to lie down. The boy had his eyes closed, but there was an almost smile on his face.

"I feel awful." He said cheerfully and Arthur laughed uneasily at this proclamation.

"If you're so happy it can't be _that_ bad." He noted, though he knew that there was probably some pain relief herbs in the ointment that Gaius had rubbed into Merlin's wounds. If anything they would at least make the boy feel a little light headed, like he'd had a glass of wine – Arthur knew for a fact that the herbs no longer worked for himself, due to being exposed to them on numerous occasions. His life was somewhat of an occupational hazard. Merlin on the other hand still had a faint smile across his features, his whole body slowly relaxing. Arthur bent down and brushed the boy's hair out of his eyes to look a miscolouring around his servant's temple. "How did you get that bruise?"

"Stairs."

"Did you fall down on your own accord?"

"No, I was pushed." Merlin replied, closing his eyes, and his smile widened as Arthur put a gentle, cold hand to the bruise, feeling for any damage. Long ago Gaius had instructed Arthur of how to check for head trauma, as in a battle it might be a necessity to access whether someone was physically, and mentally capable for fighting. Arthur found no damage, but that still didn't make him any less angry.

He felt oddly…protective, and the thought of that made his stomach turn as he pulled his hand back and sat down opposite the boy who opened his eyes again, watching Arthur under half lids.

"How did you know to come?" Merlin asked in a hushed voice as Gaius bustled around, do doubt looking for a sleeping draught for the abused boy.

"Gwen came and woke me – she told me what happened."

"Oh…Is she alright?"

"She's fine. She was very worried about you – take a leaf out of her book and do the same. Do you have no skills of self preservation Merlin?"

The boy's eyes narrowed in response, before he gave a chuckle. "I do…but I guess I've spent to much time around you…My pride's grown."

"Your pride has nothing to do with it – being whipped is nothing worth being proud about."

"No, this was just the consequence…I wouldn't apologize, and I didn't back down to Udovic, even though I knew what would happen. I know it was stupid, and I could have died, but…Better me than Gwen."

Arthur flinched, and then stood, pacing the expanse of the table, his agitation clear as he periodically clenched his fingers and loosened them. "That bastard." He muttered, "That bastard!"

Gaius came back across and handed Merlin a small bottle to drink from, having not heard Arthur angry whispering, and only Merlin's previous statement.

"That's all very good and brave of you Merlin, but I hope you're ready for the consequences. These are going to scar."

At this Arthur felt every single fibre in his body tighten, and suddenly he lost all reason, all sense and all connection with his surroundings around him. All he could feel was a sudden insane fury and resentment. "Excuse me." The words came out strained and heavy as he pivoted on his heal and march toward the door, hand clenched on his sword.

"Arthur, where are you going? Arthur? Arthur!?" Merlin called after him but he didn't hear it, all he was aware of was roar of wrath in his ears. He'd never felt such fury in his life.

He strode up through the stone corridors his eyes set straight ahead as he moved past servants and even some of his Knights who all bowed respectfully to him.

Reaching the double doors of the dining room the guards pulled the entrance open and he stalked inside, straight toward the table, face like thunder.

"Ah, Arthur, you've finally arrived." Uther said, but Arthur didn't even glance at his father as he drew his sword, swinging it easily in his hand and advancing straight toward Udovic. "Arthur? Arthur – what are you doing?" Uther attempted just as the youth swung his sword forward straight toward Udovic. The man sprang from his chair just in time as the sword embedded itself in the wood, causing Morgana, who was sat at the table, to give a short shout of alarm.

Udovic looked up from where he had rolled onto the floor to safety, his eyes searching Arthur as the boy snarled angrily at having missed. He pulled his sword back and advanced toward the other man who remained completely still up to the point that Arthur drew his blade up again and pointed it directly to Udovic's throat, his eyes burning with fury. "Get up and face me." He said his voice cold as his blue eyes.

"Arthur, what on earth do you think you are doing!?" Uther demanded but the Prince couldn't hear his father over the roar of blood in his ears. His focus lay completely on the man sat on the floor before him, dressed – as he was, in nothing more than a light fabric tunic and no amour. The point of the sword quivered a little further into the skin of Udovic's throat.

"We end this now." The blonde hissed, eyes alight, "Pick up your sword, or die."

"Arthur! What has gotten into you! Take your sword back right now, how dare you-"

"-It's quite alright Uther." Udovic seemed oddly smug, "Its fine. I challenged Arthur during his stay with me, but we were interrupted. As a warrior I can see he is simply keen to finish the fight, have no fear." Carefully the grey eyed man pulled himself to his feet, and drew his sword, staring at Arthur intently, his eyes piercing into the boy and expression conceited. "Are you ready boy?" He asked.

"I should be asking you that." Arthur replied, before lunging, striking his sword forward at a deadly speed toward the other who brought his own weapon in an arch to block, stabbing out to Arthur in-turn. But the blonde was quick on his feet, dodging out of the way and blocking a further attack to his body with his sword. Using the contact of the two swords he traced his own blade up Udovic's and flicked it up toward the man's sternum, but Henry spun elegantly, avoiding the attack.

With a cry of frustration Arthur pulled back and then sprang forward again, bringing his sword crashing down in several heavy, deadly blows.

"Go Arthur!" A voice cried joyously to the side and he noted that Cecilia was cheering him on, her face delighted. Udovic found the time to laugh as he blocked each of Arthur's attacks, some barely within the nick of time.

"Are you cheering for him my dear? That's not fair! You should be cheering for me, I'm your husband!" He called, his voice light as he lunged in return to Arthur who parried easily, going in for another strike.

"Yes, indeed you are, but Arthur deserves to win." She replied and again Udovic laughed, only causing Arthur to get even more agitated as he swung his sword around with more and more force, slamming it repeatedly toward Udovic. But it couldn't be denied, the man was a skilled swords man, and Arthur was going to need more skill than the brute, forceful anger was providing for him with.

But he couldn't help himself, all he could feel was this raw hatred and resentment whenever he looked at Udovic, he just felt so…_angry_.

He pulled his sword back, swinging it up and around in a deadly arc which he used as distraction, and then suddenly changing direction he spun the blade in his hands and stabbed straight toward Udovic who was unguarded, and didn't even stand a chance. He was a dead man.

"Arthur, stop!" A voice shouted and he jolted his sword, halting before it could stab into the other's flesh. Merlin was standing in the doorway, pale as a sheet and being supported and held upright by Gaius. Both were staring at Arthur with expressions of wild terror and he felt himself seize up as he realised just what he was doing. He went to catch eyes with his father, but before he was able to he felt a sharp pain in his hand, and next moment his sword had be bashed out of his grip, and Udovic was swinging his own toward him.

Unarmed, the prince dove out of the way, ducking from the blow and falling backwards so that he was pinned up against a pillar. He felt the edge of the blade draw near to his throat and glared up at Henry with hate filled eyes.

"You let yourself get distracted Arthur, unwise. I think this counts as my victory." The man said smugly. Arthur's eyes darted quickly to his fallen sword, unwilling to give in yet. The weapon wasn't that far away, a few meters if anything. If he could just grab it than he might have a chance! However Udovic saw him looking and tutted, shaking his head. "I wouldn't do that. I'm not going to go easy on you, and if you go for it I'll be forced to attack. At the very _least_ you _will_ lose an arm."

Arthur remained still for a minute, considering this option. He knew his chances were slim for even reaching the sword, and actually getting to it unharmed…well, there wasn't much hope. But he couldn't give up. Every particle in his body told him that if Udovic won now than it was over, over forever. This was it for Arthur, and in retro respect, when he thought of it like that, losing an arm wasn't so bad.

He dove for his sword and Udovic lunged straight toward him, as promised. For a minute it looked as if the Prince was going to get struck square in the chest, and then Arthur drew from his boot a five inch dagger, and used it to parry Udovic's sword away, twisting gracefully in to the air as he landed on the floor in a roll, grabbing his sword and finishing up in a squat, weapon in hand.

"By the power of-" Udovic began, and there was only amazement in his eyes, but Arthur didn't give him time to finish as he charged forward, catching the hilt of Udovic's sword and flicking it out of his hand. Raising his foot he kicked the other backward onto the table and then brought his sword up and stabbed down.

He hit not an inch from Udovic's neck, straight into the woodwork, and a stunned silence ensued as slowly the Prince leant forward, so that he was above the man, staring down to him. A long quiet followed, broken only by both men's hard breathing, and then the Prince relaxed, blinking his eyes and straightening.

"I win." He said simply, and then pulling back his sword out of the table, he sheathed his weapon and turned away, suddenly looking disinterested. Udovic remained half strewn on the table, laughing and clapping his hands.

"Indeed you do Sire, indeed you do. The time has finally come when you are stronger than this bag of bones."

Arthur ignored him, gave a quick bow of respect to his father, and then left the room, catching Merlin's eye quickly as he did so. The servant stared back at him, and Arthur could already see that the boy had a lot of things to say to the Prince.

Arthur moved ahead quickly and resigned to his chambers, waiting for his pesky man servant to arrive and start lecturing him.

-

"Are you _completely_ out of your mind!?" Merlin bellowed from the doorway, and Arthur sighed, continuing to look out of the window.

"Well that didn't take very long." He remarked, ignoring Merlin's previous, somewhat rude comment. "Only forty-five minutes."

"It's is a long walk up here, believe it or not! And convincing Gaius to let me come took ages, so you had better be pleased!"

"Hardly – It's not like I can make you do chores in the state you're in, you'd be even more useless than you usually are."

Merlin gave out an irritated and sarcastic laugh, crossing his arms and Arthur exhaled, watching him carefully.

"Just go to bed or something Merlin, you look like you've just tried to run from Lamporth to Camelot." He eyed the boy worriedly, noticing his even paler than normal complexion, and red eyes.

"It feels like it." Merlin replied, dropping down gently into one of Arthur's chairs and staring at the boy seriously, his arms folded. Despite the fact he was clearly exhausted, Merlin's sheer will to annoy Arthur, and question everything he did, had clearly won through and brought him here now. "What were you doing, storming in and attacking Udovic like that?"

Arthur frowned, folding his arms and opened his mouth to reply that Merlin had no right to question his motive, however instead he just sighed and let his arms drop. "I don't know." He admitted, "I just…lost my temper."

"Lost your temper!? Arthur you were going to kill him, I saw you! And then you nearly got _yourself_ killed! Do you know how many times my heart nearly stopped during that fight!? And I only came halfway in."

"There's no need to be so weak – you've seen me fight plenty of times Merlin." Arthur replied, rolling his eyes and Merlin stood and grabbed the front of the other's tunic.

"No Arthur! That wasn't fighting…That would have been murder!"

"I let him get his sword!" Arthur pushed the other off of him, his voice raising. "Don't you dare accuse me of attempted murder! And he deserved it! He would have deserved to die, but I _didn't_ kill him, did I? No, Merlin – so shut up!"

"I will not shut up! You lectured me about having self preservations – what about you!? You threw yourself blindly into that, you could have died!"

"It's a risk I was willing to take."

"And what about the rest of us!? Huh? The _whole_ of Camelot! You're our Prince, you're going to be our _King_ one day! For God's sake Arthur_, no one_ in this castle wants to see you buried because of some stupid fight!"

"_Stupid fight!_ Just _listen_ to yourself Merlin! That was the man who whipped you, who would have gladly let you die! Who was _going_ to let you die – look at the state your in, you can barely stand! He condemned you to die on your knees without trial, and without a care!"

"Yes! And I couldn't give a rats-arse about him! I'm talking about you!"

"Merlin, I am more than capable of taking care of myself!"

"No! No you aren't! You have no idea, do you!? You have no idea of the danger you put yourself into, of the amount of times I've had to watch you _nearly_ get killed!"

"It's the _nearly_ that makes the difference!"

"One day it will happen!" Merlin shouted, "Please Arthur! See some sense, or you'll die!"

"_I_ will die!? Hah – and this is coming from the boy who managed to get himself nearly whipped to death!"

"That is irrelevant! It couldn't have been avoided!"

"Oh yes it could have maybe if you weren't such a stupid idiot!" Arthur shouted, shaking Merlin's shoulders.

"Well maybe if you weren't such an arrogant prick!"

"Say that to my face you piece of filth!"

"Alright then, fine! You, Arthur Pendragon, Prince of Camelot and heir to the throne are a complete and utter arrogant prick!!!" Merlin bellowed, and his voiced echoed loudly in the silence that followed, as the two stood, staring intently into each other's eyes. Finally the dark haired boy bowed his head. "And…for that I have to say thank you. Thank you Arthur, even if it had nothing to do with me, thank you for beating Udovic. Thank you for not giving up, and thank you for not dying. Thank you, and never, _ever_ do that again." He whispered before, quietly sagging, his knee's gave way and he began to sink to the ground. Arthur moved quickly, catching him by the arms and gently lowering him down into a seated position, so that he could rest back and lean against the bed. Merlin caught a hold of his tunic again, like he had done in Gaius's chambers, and forced Arthur to look him in the eye. "Promise me."

Arthur stared to him, and then gave a soft sigh, running his hand up through his hair and shaking his head. "I can do what I want to." He muttered, before gracing Merlin with a smile and sitting beside him, "But…I'll try to avoid doing that, if you avoid getting whipped in future, alright?"

"Trust me, you don't need to tell me that." Merlin winced, before giving the other a grin, the expression watery. "Gaius gave me some weird potion, so it doesn't hurt too much now…but the whole room spins if I turn my head too quickly."

"Are you sure he didn't just give you strong alcohol?"

"…It did taste strangely suspicious." Merlin said, putting on a face of distrust and Arthur chuckled, leaning his head back against the bed, his shoulder gently brushing Merlin's own.

"Go and get some sleep or something Merlin. You shouldn't even be up."

"I feel ok – it stings a little, but not too much."

"What _did_ Gaius _give_ you?" Arthur asked, incredulously, shaking his head as he glanced to the other. Merlin looked away with an absent minded shrug, and Arthur raised his eyebrows. His manservant really was a _terrible_ liar. But there in lay the problem, because although Arthur _knew_ Merlin was lying, he could never be quite sure what about, or what the other was concealing. At this point he didn't know what there would be to conceal – all Arthur was asking was what Gaius had given the boy so that he was crying out with every step he took. The Prince sighed, he knew the other was hiding something from him on the subject and he could only conclude that the only thing there would be to hide was the fact that actually Gaius had given Merlin a standard pain killer, and the dark haired boy was pretending that he was fine.

"Go and rest Merlin, I don't need your assistance." Arthur ordered, crossing his feet and resting the back of his head in his hands. Merlin scoffed.

"You can't even get dressed without my help."

"How dare you! Of course I can – it's just your duty to assist me. I have more important things to think about!"

"What, more important than getting dressed?"

"Believe it or not Merlin, yes. I am learning how to rule this whole Kingdom which is, oddly enough, pretty essential."

"That may be true, but still – dressing yourself is still kind of vital, unless you want to rule in the Kingdom in the nude."

"I know how to dress myself already! Get out!" Arthur poked at him in irritation, but none the less he was smiling and Merlin beamed his own clumsy smile back. Arthur noted the small note of relief and thanks in the boy's eyes, which confirmed the Prince's hypothesis that indeed Merlin was in more pain than he was letting on. Though Arthur really wasn't allowed to judge when it came to that, he was pretty good at it himself.

Slowly Merlin pushed himself to his feet, "Alright, alright, I'm gone, I'm gone! Haha! Do you want me to send someone to get you some breakfast…er – lunch, I suppose it'll be now."

"Yes, and tell someone to deliver me my dinner later too...I doubt that my face is going to be welcome around the castle after this morning."

"Yeah, the King didn't look too pleased."

"I attacked one of his honoured guests, it's hardly surprising."

"That's true."

"Do you need any help getting to Gaius's chambers?"

"I'm not an invalid."

"Really?" Arthur scoffed, "In which case get going Merlin."

"Yes Sire – Thank you." Merlin bowed and left, leaving the Prince to his musing.

-

Arthur wasn't exactly sure when he had started to feel so dizzy, but he was almost certain that it had started during his evening meal, which had been brought to him by a very nervous looking servant who had hurried out of the room at the soonest chance to escape from his company. Not that Arthur had minded; it was not unnatural for people to be apprehensive in his company, however spending so much time with Merlin had made him forget that most people actually had a fear and respect for him.

Now he was starting to wonder if perhaps he should call someone back – he was feeling a little shaky and woozy, and he felt a little faint. The idea of admitting that to someone was distasteful, but the Prince was no fool when it came to his health, well…most of the time.

Quietly the blonde sighed, putting a hand to his head to check for a temperature. He felt none and shrugged, maybe he was just dehydrated? Slowly he stood, swaying dangerously on his feet. The dizziness was making him feel wobbly and he carefully took his filled goblet and took another long sip. The water felt good slipping down his throat so he assumed that the dizziness was a direct response of having not drunk enough.

Yawning he took his drink and staggered across the room, placing it down on his side table before slowly sinking down onto his bed and putting his head in his hands. He wiped his eyes with the pad of his thumb and rolled his shoulders before pulling back his covers and slipping beneath them. The single candle he had left lit to illuminate his room was slowly burning out, and he knew it was only a matter of minutes before it ran out of wick and went out. He was too tired to get up and extinguish it himself anyway.

Closing his eyes he felt himself sink into the mattress, his lips parting as he relaxed and muttered contently to himself, noting that his diction seamed to have gone out the window. He placed it on tiredness and thought nothing of it.

Then he heard the click of the door, and from across the room the light flickered out with an eerie 'psst'. His eyes sprang open, and he felt apprehension trail up his spine.

Arthur was a hunter. It came to him naturally, almost as a sense – he knew the right moment to strike and he knew the quickest way to kill. Alternatively though, his skills also made him aware of danger – to be a hunter, one also had to know one. And right now Arthur could feel something, a predator in his room, which was making the hair on the back of his neck rise. He attempted to sit up, but it was as if all of his muscles had been drained of energy, and he was unable to even turn over. His eyes which had been wide due his surprise began to become unfocused as his lids started to drop, but he fought hard, forcing himself to stay conscious as he felt the mattress dip from a weight at the other side of the bed.

"…U…Udovic." The word came out as nothing more than a slur and he felt his stomach clench as a small chuckle replied.

"Good evening Arthur."

The Prince attempted to grit his teeth and force his body into action, but it was as if he didn't have a single muscle left in his body, his arms and legs were dead weight. He began to panic.

'_I've been drugged…I can't…move!' _

A hand trailed up to his shoulder, down toward his chest. Arthur tried with all his might to jerk away from the cold touch, but his body was too heavy. He eyed his half filled goblet with hooded eyes… It must have been that. The dizziness and shakiness all added up now.

Udovic's nose brushed the base of Arthur's neck as the other pulled back the covers and slipped in behind the Prince. Slowly he slid his hand through the parting in Arthur's shirt and pinched the skin with a small contented sigh.

"Sadly I'm not here for pleasure." The man stated, before forcing Arthur onto his back and straddling him. The Prince's eyes widened and he stared up toward the other, horrified. In the darkness Udovic's eyes glowed unnaturally, and Arthur felt his heart seize up. The Prince didn't feel terror often, but looking up to the shadowed man's face now, that emotion was the only way his feelings could be described.

Slowly Udovic's hands found their way to the Prince's throat and he tightened his fingers around Arthur's neck with a smug smile. Arthur choked and coughed weakly, his thoughts whirling in both horror and outrage. He was going to die drugged with Udovic straddling his hips. The Prince had always hoped for a somewhat more dignified death, or honourable at the very least…not like this, unable to go down fighting.

However Udovic's fingers lessened somewhat and Arthur watched as the other gave him a puzzled stare, as if he was deeply confused. After a long moment that puzzlement turned to something else, almost rage, and for a moment Arthur could have sworn that Udovic's eyes lit up with a furious blue flair. And then the other smiled and let go, sitting up so that he was at right angle with Arthur's laid out body, his knee's either side of the boy's chest, pinning his arms down. "You really are full of surprised today, you know that Arthur?" He mused, his voice thoughtful. "I really would have never expected this of you, what when your father condemns sorcery so much, you seemingly by his side…Yes, it really is rather shocking." He conjoined eyes with the boy, "Rather shocking that you would make deals with the old religion."

Arthur stared up to him in complete confusion, and if he were able he would demand as to what exactly the other thought he was talking about. Udovic seemed to sense his question though, and his eyebrows raised.

"Don't play innocent now – I'm not an ignorant man. You've got magical protection, a barrier if you will…Hmm, well this really does put a hole in my plan – you've thrown me quite off balance. Now I'm going to have to find the one who's protecting you Arthur and get rid of them…and who knows how long _that_ will take." He said, speaking more to himself that the Prince who was trapped below him, trying to keep up with his words. Arthur wasn't sure whether to be more worried for himself, or for Udovic's sanity – the man was clearly out of his mind. Arthur having a Magical protector, what rubbish was that? He was sooner more likely to kiss Merlin for God's sake – not that that would _ever_ happen!

"But wait." Udovic suddenly broke through his chain of thought and for that Arthur was somewhat relieved. "Perhaps I should just set a trap for them…Ah yes, that's a good idea… Now, let me see – Ah yes! If something should happen to you then they would be bound to come running, no? Hm?" Udovic looked down to Arthur, and his eyes seemed to soften. "But I could never hurt you…No, I adore you far, _far_ too much." He paused, and then grinned, making Arthur's stomach reel. The man's teeth were far too sharp in the moonlight. "I guess I lied-" He slipped his hand toward his own belt and undid it. "-I am here for pleasure."

-

Merlin whistled contently to himself as he climbed the stairway supporting a tray of food. He felt rested, and fresh – a small miracle considering the events of the previous day, and Merlin had to remind himself of this. Slowing his pace he put on more of a pained expression and tried to walk more like every step hurt – he could tell that Arthur was suspicious at his miraculous recovery, but the Prince was suspicious of the wrong thing – he though Merlin was playing it down, when actually the boy was playing it up.

The truth of the fact was Gaius was over his head with worry, repeatedly having to point out that Merlin had, without his knowledge, reopened his wounds and bled through his shirt.

"_Pain is there as a sign, a warning! You are meant to heed it boy, not lock it away!"_

"_Then why do you give people pain-killers?"_

"_That's different Merlin, medicine is one thing, magic is another entirely!"_

Merlin sighed. He had learnt a numbing spell quite recently had been using it quite avidly on himself since the previous day. Of course it didn't get rid of the stiffness of his body, and the easy fatigue, but with a combination of Gaius's own potions Merlin was quite free to move around.

'_But I'm still injured…I have to remember that. I may not be able to feel it, but I'm in bad shape.'_

Merlin reminded himself, Gaius had been so furious with him for using magic at all, but the boy had managed to talk him into letting him continue on the condition that he would take good care of himself, and report back to Gaius every few hours to have the wounds checked.

'_I need to learn a healing spell or something.'_

The boy mused,

'_That way I wouldn'__t have to be in this mess and Arthur would be in less danger…'_

Merlin stopped at that thought and sighed. Learning a healing spell would be good and all for him, but useless for Arthur as long as Merlin had to pretend to just be an ordinary person.

Reaching the Prince's chambers he opened the door, as always not bothering to knock, and entered.

The room was dark, and he could just about make out Arthur's figure still laid in bed. He approached and saw that the Prince's eyes were open and he was staring up to the ceiling with an expressionless face. Merlin went to the table and set down the tray of food, speaking as he did.

"Good morning Sire, I brought your breakfast. You've got sausages, eggs, bacon, bread and something which looks suspiciously like a rotted apple – hmm, it might be a cooked tomato, I'm not sure. I wouldn't advise eating it." He said as behind him he heard the low groan as Arthur shifted in the bed and sat up. He heard the mattress almost sigh as Arthur stood and took a few unsteady steps toward his favourite spot by the window. Merlin ignored this, it wasn't usual for him to actually arrive before the Prince had risen, but when he did Arthur tended to be a little unsteady on his feet for the first few minutes. Unlike Merlin the blonde actually was a morning person, but if Merlin actually got to Arthur before he had risen then it could only mean that the Prince was exhausted – his zombie like temperament and expression was to be expected at this hour.

"Come and eat before it gets cold, and seriously…leave that rotted thing, I really don't know what it's doing there." Merlin stated, going toward Arthur's bed, once more without even glancing to Arthur who was still oddly silent, everything about him stilled and hushed.

"Oh, I found out which medicine Gaius has been giving me – apparently it's a normal one, but it just works great on me because I'm not used to it." The boy stated, pulling back the covers and trying to fill the silence until the Prince told him to shut up. "Unlike you I don't nearly get killed everyday so my body isn't used to…-what is that?" the Warlock stopped and stared to the white sheets, his brow lowered. They appeared to be stained with something and the boy leant into inspect, before his hand flew to his mouth with a scoff. "Oh – Oh, what the hell, Arthur!" Merlin's face broke in disgust, "Is that…!? It is! Ugh! In the bed, did you have to-" He was cut off by a large slamming noise behind him, he turned slowly "…Arthur?" He glanced around, before his eyes finally came to rest on a figure on the floor, supporting himself on all fours. "Arthur!? Oh, no, not again!" The manservant ran to the fallen Prince who was gasping for air.

Falling to his knees he grabbed a hold of the blonde's shoulders, but almost immediately Arthur had sat up and thrown them off, pushing himself back into the wall.

"Get off! Don't touch me!" The Prince roared, his head ducked away and face hidden from sight. "Don't come near!" He warned and Merlin stared to him shocked, before moving forward again, ignoring the other's words.

"Arthur, calm down – it's only me; Merlin. It's ok, just…just calm down."

"Get away from me!" Arthur bellowed, pushing himself as far back as possible and kicking out toward Merlin, barely missing the boy's stomach. But the manservant didn't notice; all he could see was the sheer terror in Arthur's eyes as the boy glared to him, his face wet with perspiration and breathing hard.

"…Arthur."

"…"

Merlin leant forward a little and put out his hand toward the other. "Arthu-"

"_-Don't._" Was the harsh reply as Arthur jerked away, his eyes never leaving Merlin's. The warlock let his hand fall and sat completely still, watching Arthur warily as the Prince stared back, his whole body clenched. "Don't come near."

"What happened?" Merlin asked softly, trying to force his voice into neutral. "What's going on?"

"I swear if you get any closer I'll- !" Arthur began, his breathing still panicked, but face set. Merlin pulled back a little and raised both hands to show he was completely unarmed.

"I'm staying right here." He stated, cutting across the Prince. "Tell me what's happened."

Arthur stared to him, and then shook his head, the movement jerky and Merlin felt himself seize up. He'd never seen Arthur look so…terrified.

"It's ok Arthur, I promise…Just tell me what's wrong, maybe…maybe I can help-"

"-You can't!" Arthur cut threw him, "You can't help me…You can't possibly…I…I-" he gagged, hunched over and vomited to the side, heaving. Merlin took the opportunity to dart forward and take a hold of the Prince, steadying him as he continued to wretch. Arthur tried to pull away, but he had no strength behind his useless struggles and by the time he had finished he was limp and totally lifeless. Merlin crouched at his side, gripping him carefully and running his hand up and down the boy's back as soothingly as he could. Arthur leant against the wall and gave out a long groan which sounded so heart breaking that Merlin could only feel himself panic. Never has he seen the other so defeated. Never.

"I'm going to go and get some help, just stay here." The Warlock urged, before getting up and rushing to the doorway where he shouted out into the corridor. "Somebody, please! Help! Gaius, we need Gaius the physician! Help! The Prince is badly sick!" He bellowed as he heard Arthur collapse behind him. "Somebody help!"

-

**And that's it for now! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! But before I beg you to review, a little taster for the next instalment – **

"_Don't you dare try to tell m__e it will be fine Gaius! He was bed ridden! It was as if he was soul less for pity's sake, he looked like the living dead! And now he's disappeared! He could barely talk yesterday, and now you're saying it's perfectly normal for him to have gone missing!? Well!? What do you have to say for yourself! Do take me for an idiot!? I have eyes you know, a brain! It's is not normal! My Son has been enchanted, I'm no fool not to see that – this stinks of magic! And for that…I swear that I will have revenge!"_

-

"_Joanus, what is it?"_

"_I've heard the Prince is taken gravely ill, is it true?"_

"_Yes…Why? What is it? Joanus?"_

_The old man bit his bottom lip, eyes darting to the side. "I have not been completely honest with your Merlin, but in light of these events I know…that you of all people deserve to know the truth of what I know happened in Lamporth castle."_

_-_

"_That monster! I'll kill him! I'll kill him!" Merlin bellowed ripping his arm free of Gaius's, "He deserves nothing but death for what he's done!"_

"_For God's sake Merlin! Control yourself, you're bleeding out your idiot! Merlin! Merlin!"_

_-_

"_W…What are you?" He stumbled back, horror etched into his face, "What the hell are you?"_

"_That's of little concern to you know, isn't it, Warlock?"_

_-_

_He raised the sword high above his head and stared toward the peaceful face below him. The blade shone with the reflections of the bath water as he pulled in even higher, aiming for the exposed neck below. This was it – God have mercy on his soul, but he was going to kill a sleeping, defenceless man. For this, he knew he'd be damned._

_-_

"_Arthur…please…please, if you can hear me…help…I…I can't do this…I can't…fight him on my own." He hunched up even tighter, skin blue from the cold. "Arthur, please…Please, help me. Oh God help me please, I can't do this!" He sobbed, "Where are you? Where…Where are you? Oh God Arthur…Arthur please, where the hell are you?! I need you!"_

_-_

**Ahaha! See you for the next instalment soon! Please review!**


	8. Solacium, Part 1

**Ahahaha – Hello again…So, how long has it been? Several months…*Cowers* Please don't hurt me, please! I've been doing my AS exams and have been soooo busy, plus I did my Singing Certificate exam and Drama-Speaking Exam Grade Seven this term too…Magically I got a distinction! Whoopie for me! :D**

**But regardless, I'm sorry this chapter has taken so long. I've actually split it into two, because the second half needs revising. **

**It's also unbetaed, but I might get that resolved soon – I though it best not to stall anymore!**

**So now a note to all of my reviewers!**

**Catindahat – **God, I hope you haven't exploded! You said you would if I didn't update soon…Ahah, my bad! Enjoy!

**Authorqueen –** Hey! Thanks for the review. Could you possibly beta this chapter now that I've put it up (If you're free.) Thanks for all the hard work!

**32-stae –** I hope you enjoy this chapter too, it's quite angsty.

**Kittendragon –** Yes, Udovic raped Arthur, and don't worry…revenge will be had.

**Rosamund Charlotte – **I'm sorry you have to wait so long!

**SprouseBros –** Hope this chapter is up to your expectations.

**emiliexox –** Yes, Arthur certainly needs a hug – I BIG one.

**MakotoJinx –** Haha, hope this chapter is enjoyed too, though not quite as much happens in it!

**Rainfeather14 – **Ahah, I may have written a cliffhanger here too!

**Fire dragonheart – **Thanks!

**IsabelEmrys –** Haha – here you go, I'm sorry for the long wait. You mention that you play in an ensemble, what instrument do you play again? I enjoy music too, a great deal, but I am more of a singer (though I play the violin and Piano too.) I know what you mean by down time during rehearsals!

**Eco Lin ****–** Aw! Poor Udovic – perhaps he's just misunderstood…nah, you're right, he's a bastard! And wow – even trumping Voldie! I'm touched!

**Darkenwood ****– **You're review was the thing to really remind me what a bad person I had been, thank you. I got Udovic back from Italy (skiing…in summer?) and I've got him back on the tread mill thanks to you!

**Right! A few warnings before I begin – language, violence, kinda-torture/sadism, angst, mentions of rape and cliff-hangers.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own, don't sue!**

Gaius looked grave, and it wasn't comforting. Merlin had always had somewhat of a blind assumption that Gaius could cure everyone and everything, and it always gave him a real shock when he saw his mentor looking deflated over a patient.

"What's wrong with him?" Merlin finally asked, the words bursting out of him as he finally stopped pacing and turned to the white haired man who sighed and straightened.

"As I have answered the eight previous times you've enquired – I do not know. Now kindly stop prowling around like that – you're making me nervous."

"_You_'re making _me_ nervous." Merlin replied, biting his fist as he flicked his eyes to Arthur who was laid back in the bed, eyes closed and breathing even. "Is he dying?"

"For God sake Merlin – stop! You're worse than Uther." Gaius replied, turning back to Arthur and placing a hand on the Prince's brow. Arthur's eyes opened, but he gave no indication that he even registered either of the other two in the room. It was as if he was in his own little world. "Sire, can you hear me? Sire?"

There was a beat, and then Arthur blinked and replied in a soft, completely emotionless voice. "Leave."

"Pardon?"

"Leave me…please." Arthur's voice wavered a little, "Get out."

"I believe that you might be gravely ill Sire, I must ask that you please let me examine you?"

"No. I'm fine. Leave now." He said it without variation, before quietly adding, "-Please."

Merlin flinched at the desperate under tone in the Prince's voice – it completely broke his heart, he just couldn't stand it. Arthur looked…defeated.

A moment later the doors had been thrown open and Uther entered the room, his face panicking.

"Where – where is my son!" He demanded before spotting Arthur in his bed, he went to the blonde's side immediately, and Merlin saw Arthur flinch a little at the loudness of his father's entry. "Arthur, what's going on? I've been told you were gravely ill."

Arthur didn't reply for a long moment, and then he just closed his eyes and murmured beneath his breath. His words were so quiet that everyone else missed them, but Merlin heard, loud and clear. He heard Arthur's words, and they knocked the breath out of him, and made his heart all but nearly stop.

Because clear as day, even if no one else had heard it, Merlin witnessed Arthur say five words which made his blood run stone dead cold.

"Please just let me die."

Merlin managed to make in to under the kitchen stairway before he broke down. Just like that time before when he had realised his first love for Arthur, his whole body was in pain. Though this time he could recognise it, he recognised it as his own grief and worry.

Hunching up he closed his eyes, griping his stomach tightly. He knew he wasn't in the most practical place to break down like this, but he had to get away from Gaius.

"Arthur…" He choked, and slowly covered his eyes, trying to restrain the sobs breaking their way up his throat. His legs gave way and he slid to the floor, burying his face into his knees as his shoulders shook. The pain was indescribable, it felt as if Arthur was slipping away, as if Merlin had never been more far away from the Prince. As if this was it – the blonde might as well be dead for all that could happen now. "Arthur…come back. Please." The dark haired boy begged in a broken whisper just as a scuffle of feet sounded just above him, and he looked up to see a very startled looking Joanus staring down to him.

Immediately the blue eyed boy attempted to compose himself, wiping his nose and eyes hastily with the back of his sleeve. "Aha…Sorry, I was just…I was…"

"I can see what you were doing, lad." Was Joanus' straight reply and Merlin's shoulders dropped, and he lowered his head. There was a long pause in which neither moved and then the dark haired boy gave a quick sniff and looked up again.

"Sorry…was I in your way?" He asked, voice weak, "I can go, if you want?"  
"You're not in my way lad. I simply saw you rush past like your hair was on fire, and came to find out what the great fuss was for."

"Oh." Merlin nodded his head, looking down. "I see…Um, there wasn't any great rush. I was just…it's just that…-" He broke off with a quick intake of breath, and sobbed again, burying his face into his hands. "Oh God…" He cried.

From the side Joanus seemed to hesitate, and then he quietly took a seat beside the boy, on a wooden box. "I've heard the Prince is taken gravely ill, is it true?"

Merlin's shoulders began to shake desperately, but he forced himself to look up, and reply to the other, face sodden with tears. "Yes…" He replied, "But…But Gauis will do something. I'm sure." He tried to sound brave, but Merlin was incapable of lying to anyone, most of all him-self. From the side Joanus coughed, and averted his eyes.

"Yes, Gaius is a genius, and a good man…But I fear for the Prince. Mentally, rather than physically."

At these words Merlin froze up, and then he snapped his head to side, staring to the man intently. "Why? Why would you say that? What is it?" He asked in a desperate whisper, to which there was no response. "Joanus?"

The old man bit his bottom lip, eyes darting to the side. "I have not been completely honest with your Merlin, but in light of these events I know…- I know that…"

"You know what?" Merlin leant him, and Joanus' eyes conjoined with his.

"You of all people deserve to know the truth of what I _know_ happened in Lamporth castle." Was the old man's response and Merlin's breath hitched.

"Tell me." He begged, "Please tell me."

Joanus was silent for a moment, and then he quietly placed his hands together, staring toward to the wall. "I've known Lord Udovic for a great deal of my life, as long as I've worked under the King. When I was young I had an incredible respect for him – he was a good, honest man. And then…then came the magical purge. There is no way of explaining the change that occurred, and I'm truly at a loss of how I could possibly explain to you that Udovic was not always like this…He was a stern man, but never cruel." Joanus paused for a moment, before continuing. "I first noticed it when I accompanied the Prince to Lamporth, that Udovic had an almost…inhuman characteristic to him. I could never explain it, and truly I am not suggesting that he turned into some sort of wild animal…but there was something about his eyes – predatory, that's what it was. I saw the way he looked at Arthur and I…I feared for the child. I thought he would injure him, maybe beat him…but my fear was misplaced. He did nothing of the sort, he welcomed him all too readily and I told myself that my imagination was playing tricks on me…until…until I saw that Arthur was acting strangely in the man's presence. He seemed uncomfortable, confused almost. I became suspicious again as to what was happening, but I was powerless to find out. That was…until I saw. I concealed myself in Arthur's chamber one night, and saw with my very own eyes exactly why…Merlin, what I am about to tell you is something which you must guard with your life. It is not something I would tell anyone, however I know that the Prince is close to you…closer than you think. And I know that if anyone has a chance, it is you…but first you must promise me that you will not use this information for anything other than helping the Prince."

"I promise!" Merlin said immediately, "I would never…- I would never try to hurt Arthur."

Joanus was quiet for a moment, and then he accepted Merlin's words with a small nod. "Very well… Udovic had not been beating Arthur, as I first thought…he had been touching him."

"…What? Touching him?" Merlin frowned, trying to comprehend. How could touching someone make them suffer, unless it were a beating? Merlin tried to think, but he couldn't, until a memory suddenly surfaced to the top of his mind. The memory of Udovic circling him, stroking lightly with his hands, as if he was weighing the boy up, Merlin could still recall how sick he'd felt. But that wasn't the only thing…there was something else too. The dark haired boy swallowed. "What do you mean by 'touching him', Joanus?"

At this question the old man shifted, clearly uncomfortable. "Udovic has been sexually abusing Arthur since he was nothing more than a child…and then blackmailing him to keep quiet."

There was a shocked, horrified pause, and then – "No." Merlin stood, shaking his head. He had half expected the words, been waiting to hear them – but now they were said they just seemed unfathomable. "He can't of-"

"-The Prince was too young to fully comprehend what he was doing, he had no way of defending himself. Yet he understood that Udovic's actions were wrong, and later I realise that he blamed himself for enduring them, for reacting to them. You must understand Merlin, the body is made to feel pleasure – I could see from that day on that Arthur told himself that as long as he didn't react, as long as he maintained his pride than Udovic didn't win…but that is impossible. Under that sort of treatment, a reaction is inevitable eventually – and once there is a crack, even a stone will break in half." Joanus was watching Merlin carefully as the dark haired boy's mind reeled. Things were beginning to click into place – Arthur's attitude prior to going to Lamporth, his attitude on Pride and honour, and his reaction when Merlin had drugged him. All of these things could only agree with the horrific truth, those and a single sentence which stuck out in Merlin's mind, like a nail from a wall.

"_A reaction! I gave him a reaction! I played along into his sick game, and gave him something, a weakness.__"_

"His reaction when he saw Udovic with me…it all makes sense…" Merlin's hands were shaking, "But then what changed? You say this has been going on since he was a child, ten years old for God's sake – maybe even longer…Why now? Arthur beat him in a fight, he had his pride and dignity on his side! What could Udovic have done to break him like this?" Merlin stared to Joanus who lowered his eyes, the Warlock was dreading the answer just based on this reaction.

"I fear that Udovic has truly broken him by taken the final step."

"No…God please no, you can't mean-." Merlin could feel all the blood seeping from his face as Joanus stood and faced the boy, voice grave.

"I'm afraid so…I think that Udovic has raped the Prince."

Merlin threw open the door, eyes flashing golden with fury as from across the room a line of Gaius' bottles smashed, untouched, littering the ground with glass. Gaius looked up from where he was bent at his desk with a startled shout, his eyebrows raising high into his hair line as Merlin stormed past into his room.

"Merlin? Merlin what on earth is going on?" The old man demanded as the boy appeared again, supporting his magic book in his hands. "What are you doing?"

"I need a spell-" Merlin gasped, his chest heaving with anger. "-I need a spell that will make someone feel like they're being torn apart! Torn apart, and stabbed with red hot pokers, and crushed under a thousand tons of rock! I need something which is going to make him feel like he's having his lungs ripped out through his mouth!" Merlin caught eyes with Gaius who was staring to him in horror. A small part of the boy understood the terror in his mentor's face – Merlin was great deal of things, but violent was most definitely not one of them. "Don't give me that look!" the boy hissed, "He deserves it! He deserves it for what he's done!" Another row of bottles exploded and Merlin cried out, as pain shot through him. He fell to his knees and Gaius was quickly beside him. The numbing spell for his back had worn off again, and he could feel that the barely healed skin had once more ripped. His magic was out of control with his anger, and more things were smashing as he writhed and gasped out in pain.

"Calm down Merlin!" Gaius begged, "You need to stay still. I don't understand what is going on, but it's not important right now – you're wounds have opened again! You must let me stop the bleeding, your body can't take much more of this!" He grabbed Merlin's shoulder to steady him.

"I don't have time! I've got to go and get him now, before he does anything else!" Merlin replied, furiously, his eyes burning with rage.

"Who?" Gaius half demanded, half begged.

"That monster! I'll kill him! I'll kill him!" Merlin bellowed ripping his arm free of Gaius's hand, "He deserves nothing but death for what he's done!"

"For God's sake Merlin! Control yourself, you're bleeding out you idiot! Merlin! Merlin!" Gaius leapt up as Merlin attempted to stand, but the boy's body was in no condition to obey itself and he quickly tumbled, catching hold of the table for support. Gaius took a hold of the boy's head, forced to look him in the eyes, and spoke with the most authoritative voice he could. "Calm down!"

For a moment nothing happened, and then a great stillness came across the room, the waves of angry magic which had been threatening to destroy everything drawing to a halt, and the gold in Merlin's eyes faded away.

"…I-" Merlin stared up to his mentor, his expression shifting into horror, and then he slammed a hand to his mouth and let out a sob, doubling over. "I'm sorry…sorry Gaius…" He choked and hugged the other around the stomach, "It…it just hurts so much. I'm sorry…I couldn't control myself…He's gone too far."

"Shhh Merlin, it's alright."

"It's not alright…I don't know if it will ever be alright again! I have to do _something_!" Merlin cried, and Gaius stroked his head gently as the boy broke down.

"I don't really understand what is happening, but come on my boy, get up and take a seat – you've got to concentrate on yourself for a minute – or you won't live through this."

Merlin slowly got up and stumbled, with Gaius' help toward the bench, where he sat down, leaning forward, face in hands. Gaius pulled the other-s shirt back, and the boy heard the older man in-hale sharply as he surveyed the damage.

"You've completely torn through all of your stitches Merlin…I'm going to have to restart."

"I don't have time-"

"-Merlin!" Gaius warned and the other drew off, and hung his head, putting his hands up to his face again. "What on earth is going on?" The long haired man demanded and the boy just sobbed, shaking his head. There was a long pause and then Gaius sighed and disappeared from behind the boy, going toward his desk. He picked up a small vile which had been, magically, untouched – quite literally – and returned to the boy's side. "Drink this and lie down." He said softly, and the boy didn't argue, allowing Gaius to navigate him toward the bed and push the potion into his hands. He drank it in one gulp, lay on his stomach, and felt himself drift away, the world fading around him.

His head was spinning when his eyes eventually opened again, and Merlin gave out a long, aching groan, unable to stop himself. His entire body throbbed, and he could barely move at all from how stiff his muscles were. The interior of his skull was also pounding, and, as such, he found it hard to register his whereabouts for a long moment, before he finally came to his senses and was able to sit up.

Gaius was no where in sight, and had probably left to do his rounds, a fact which did not comfort Merlin. The boy was in desperate need of human contact. He felt weak, drained and defenceless, and the mental exhaustion was almost to the point where he could have cried. Merlin rarely cried, but his eyes had a constant blur about them now.

Finally, after several long minutes of waiting, desperation got the better of him and he lifted himself from his bed and left Gaius' tower. His need had over run his senses, and he walked in a half dream, totally oblivious to the people around him and his location. Merlin moved as if only his feet knew his direction, and it was only when he found himself at Arthur Pendragon's door that he felt his whirling mind catch up with him.

He slipped into the other's chambers and stared dumbly to the Prince who was sleeping silently, his entire body relaxed, but face far from peaceful.

Merlin knew that Gaius had drugged Arthur, probably so that he wouldn't wake at least until tomorrow, and the Warlock was almost certain that the reason his mentor had done this was not because Arthur was in need – though he probably could benefit from it – but because a sleeping Arthur was easier to deal with, then the drained, dead, unresponsive person he became when he was awake. People knew how to deal with the Prince when he was unconscious – it happened enough times, but they couldn't deal with this mentally broken wreck.

Slowly Merlin approached and stared into the Prince's face. He was silent for a long moment, and then words began to tumble from his lips, unguarded and totally unheard.

"You're beautiful." He said. "You're so…so beautiful. I hate it. I hate it that other people can use that against you, that they use it against you…I want nothing more than to just make you ugly, to turn you into a tyrant – because then it would be so much easier! Hating you would be so, so much easier…but I don't hate you. Because you're not a tyrant. You're Arthur. _My_ Arthur. And you're beautiful." He swayed on his feet. His tongue felt awkward and foreign in his mouth. "I wish…I wish that you could know how _difficult_ it is, loving you like this. Because it's the weirdest kind of love, the most twisted feeling I know…and the most pure. I don't even understand it – one minute you're my next of kin, then you're like my son, then my father, then my friend, and then…then sometimes I just want to kiss you. It doesn't make sense – what you do to me doesn't make sense and I…" He stepped forward and stared to the other silently, he was crying now, much to his own shame. He was glad Arthur was asleep. "I love you." He said simply, and sobbed, "Whole heartedly, truly and earnestly without a shadow in my heart I love you Arthur Pendragon." He stated, "and if you choose to die, then please…by the Gods take me with you."

And with these words he lay on Arthur's bed and curled up as close to the Prince as he could, putting his head on the other's chest, as if to monitor his heart beat, and cried with all his might.

He felt better when he woke again, as if he had had a chance to recuperate all of his energy, and for a long while he lay still, curled against Arthur's gently moving chest. He blinking slowly, watching his lashes brush the blonde's collar softly before he sat up, little by little straightening until he was upright, and off the bed, walking toward where Arthur had laid his sword and dagger on the table. With hands which were not his own he picked up the smaller of the two weapons and held it in his hands, assessing the weight before turning toward the door. In a daze he moved, walking with his eyes staring distantly forward.

He swept through the caste corridors, undisturbed by anything or anybody as he moved toward Gaius' tower once more, silently praying that the other be absent. To Merlin's immediate relief, upon reaching the physician's chambers, he was, and Merlin was able to easily obtain the small bottle of sleeping drought meant for operation. With it in one hand, and the dagger in the other he changed courses and returned to the castle, his face set as if carved by stone, eyes dead of all emotions.

Reaching the stairs leading up to the chambers he slid the dagger into his belt and waited, almost as if an exact plan had formulated in his head whilst he had slept and now all he was doing was following the exact calculations his mind had given him.

It did not take long.

The maid appeared and looked startled to see Merlin there, almost as if she hadn't seen him until he was nothing but a metre away from her. His ghostly white complexion did nothing to ease her fear as he looked toward her. The contents on the tray she was supporting clattered a bit as her hands shook, but her smiled reassuringly to her.

"Sorry, did I startle you?" He asked gently, and immediately he saw her relax – she knew Merlin, Merlin was nice. "I was sent down my Lord Udovic – is this his meal?"

"Yes, only I'm not sure if I brought everything." She admitted, before adding "Is it true that he really is as cruel as they say?"

"Look at my back for your proof." Merlin replied and she gasped.

"So you _really_ were whipped."

"Yes."

"Good God!"

"It's alright." He looked down to the tray with a small frown. "He just repeated his order to me…something seems to be missing."

"Was it gin?" She asked, "I thought maybe had had said it – but I couldn't remember! Oh – do tell me, did he want gin too?"

"Ah yes, that was it – you've forgotten."

"Oh! Oh – he'll beat me!" The Maid cried but Merlin smiled that sweet smile again.

"Don't worry – here, leave the tray with me and go and get some gin, that way you can run."

"Oh thank you Merlin!" The Maid said with relief and passing the boy the tray she turned and ran back down toward the kitchens. As she left Merlin's smile faded, and carefully he placed the tray down and took out the bottle of sleeping draught. He emptied the entire contents into Udovic's glass of wine, swirling it together before picking the tray back up in time for the maid's return. She placed the new glass of gin on the tray and gladly took the tray back with a large smile. "You really are a saint Merlin, truly."

Merlin gave a weak laugh, "That's me…St. Merlin the clumsy."

She chuckled sweetly and pecked a kiss on his cheek before continuing up the stairs with the heavy burden. Merlin remained were he was, slowly sitting down. It would not take long. Carefully he slid his eyes shut, folding his arms across his chest. He recalled Arthur's heat beside his body, the Prince's still form and drew strength from the memory. The royal was still breathing, and as long as that was the case Merlin would do the same. He opened his eyes a moment later to find that the shadows, cast by the iron bars across the windows, had moved, signalling that time had passed. He could hear footsteps behind him, the maid was returning, and odd look on her face.

"He thanked me for the gin…" She mumbled, looking to Merlin who stared back. His eyes were frighteningly cold once more. "But said he hadn't ordered it."

"My mistake." Merlin stood, "Did he punish you?"

"He made me taste the gin – make sure it wasn't poisoned…some of the wine too." She glanced to Merlin with a cloudy curiosity. "He was in the bath." She said, before suddenly slumping forward, her eyes rolling backward. Merlin caught her and gently sat her down, relaxing her head against the banister, his hands supporting her body easily.

"I'm sorry for lying, but it was necessary." He whispered to her, before straightening and moving quietly up the stairs. He walked slowly toward Udovic's room and let himself in, looking around to confirm that indeed the noble was sat, slumped in a bath, his head thrown back in drug induced sleep. Merlin approached and stared down to the man with those ice-blue eyes, and from his side he drew the dagger, gripping it tightly in both fingers as his glance swept from the man's face to his open neck.

"You hurt Arthur – you hurt him and for that I will punish you." The warlock whispered savagely, the first true emotion to rip through him.

He raised the dagger high above his head and stared down toward the peaceful face below him. The blade shone with the reflections of the bath water as he pulled it even higher, aiming for the exposed neck below. This was it – God have mercy on his soul, but he was going to kill a sleeping, defenceless man. For this, he knew he'd be damned.

But his hands had began to shake, and it was as if his arms seized, freezing into place. Terror over ran him because by releasing the anger within him other emotions began to slip out too.

He could almost see Gaius' face – this was _not_ Merlin, this was the work of some sort of _monster._ His arms fell, and the dagger slipped from his hands, clattering to the floor as he gasped for sudden air, as if his head had been previously held beneath water. He clutched his throat and fell back against the table, chocking and gulping for oxygen as his entire body began to spasm, shaking with shock.

Yes he hated Udovic. Yes he wanted him dead – these facts had not changed. But Merlin refused to allow them to attack, to backfire and break _him_. He refused.

Udovic would be punished, and he would face his match equally and be taken down by the better man. There was no honour for Merlin, nor for Arthur, to have such a pathetic killing for Udovic – stabbing him like this would martyr him! And he did not deserve that.

But Merlin was still shaking with anger, he was furious, hateful – and he wanted to _hurt_ Udovic. He wanted to hurt him _badly._

Looking up he quietly extended his hand and whispered the words. _"A'mue aqua gelu_._"_

Slowly Udovic's bath water began to stop steaming, and began to thicken, crackling until a thin layer of ice had formed over the top. Merlin withdrew his hands and remained still, watching Udovic's skin slowly turn pale from the severe sudden cold, until it was a disturbing shade of white-ish blue and the man's body had began to tremble at the freezing temperature, desperately seeking warm. Merlin complied to the bodies desire and reversed the spell, making the water begin to bubble and boil so that Udovic went – quite literally - from ice to fire, turning bright red. Merlin waited until the man's skin had slowly began to almost peel before once more reversing the spell suddenly so that Udovic was once more submerged in ice – his body reacting violently to the sudden body temperatures.

"I will make your entire body ache with burning cold, and then perhaps you will understand the pain you have installed on Arthur and me." He said, before stopping the spell, with a long tempting hesitation. _"A'mue agua tepidus."___The water became tepid, and Merlin picked up the dagger and left the other alone in the lukewarm water to suffer. When he awoke – which he would do eventually – every pore on his skin would be screaming, and Merlin wagered that it would be a while before the other could move again properly. The Warlock wondered if it was wrong to laugh at that thought.

Convincing the maid that it had probably been the gin that had struck her unconscious had been easy enough – convincing Gaius had been another thing entirely. The physician had confined Merlin furiously to his room, and had left to go and check upon Udovic who had taken ill after being found, mysteriously freezing in his bathtub – having fallen asleep. Merlin had silently accepted his mentor's angry orders and sat on his bed, staring quite dully to the wall, his mind racing. His revenge upon Udovic had been satisfying, even though something was still niggling at him from the back of his mind that he should go and finish the man off.

He bounced his knees and tapped his fingers, mumbling softly under his breath. "Arthur…I really wish you would wake up."

He put his hands to his face and rubbed his eyes with fatigue, yawning. Everything felt cold, and dark, and it was almost as if a great scoop of everything good and happy had been taken from Merlin, leaving him feeling oddly hollow, dark minded and…cold.

Cold.

Cold…

Damn it was cold.

The boy let out a breath and watched as it curled into misty dragon's breath in-front of him. He stared to it in horror – there was no way it could be _that_ cold.

"I must say the sudden contrast between hot and cold was really rather good – a wonderful touch." The voice was cruel, gleeful and Merlin jumped to his feet, whirling around in terror only to behold the nightmarish image of Udovic stood calmly, silhouetted in shadows, at the corner of his room.

"U-Udovic!" He stumbled back in horror, and the back tilted his head to one side, almost in an animalistic fashion. Merlin choked – that wasn't possible! The man shouldn't have even been able to _move_! How could he snuck so easily into the boy's room.

God damn, it was freezing.

Udovic took a step forward, and Merlin felt his entire body seize in fear at the man's smug expression. "Do you feel that Merlin?" The man asked, "Do you feel my _emotions_?"

"You…You're using magic." Merlin could feel his entire body trembling with a mixture of cold and fear.

"It is not magic, simply manipulation of thought." Udovic touched a hand to the boy's bed, and his smile elongated. "But I would not expect you to understand, you have no idea of the things beyond your realm."

Something beneath Udovic's skin moved, rippling across the curve of his cheek like an fish skimming through water. Merlin cried out in repulsion, stepping back so that the back of his legs hit the side of his bed.

"W…-What are you?" He stammered, horror etched into his face, "What the hell are you!"

"That's of little concern to you now, isn't it, Warlock?" Udovic approached further, out-stretching his hands. Oh good God it was so very, very cold. "What's the matter, you keep glancing to the door – do you think you can escape me."

"You're mad!"

"On-contras, I am not mad, I am a genius."

"You will be stopped!" Merlin tried, but his voice wavered at the end and almost became a sob. The carved out hole within him was beginning to ache dully, and shooting pains of despair were worming their way up through him. Udovic threw back his head and laughed.

"And _who_ will stop be exactly? Hmm? _You_! Don't make me laugh; nothing _living_ in this earth can possibly hope to rise equally against me." He smiled, "I have already met and duelled with death you see."

Merlin's heart skipped a beat, and he nearly doubled over. The pain within him was doubling, and suddenly he could see that Udovic was right – it was hopeless. Nobody could win against Udovic, he was too powerful he was…he was…

"You're…not human." Merlin choked.

"Ten out of ten for obvious deductions my boy." Udovic chuckled, "Is it my turn? Ooh – what to choose from, what to choose from – ooooh, here's a good one." The man paused and leant in, "The Prince _doesn't_ love you."

At these words Merlin felt like someone had stabbed him in the chest and he even cried out before, tumbling forward onto his knees, he landed hard, his head swimming with the words which echoed, reforming, stinging and burying themselves deep within every part of the boy.

"Have you only just _realised?_" Udovic tut-tutted. "You really are a fool."

Merlin gasped for air.

It was cold.

"Why on earth would the Prince love _you?_"

So cold.

"_You_, of _all_ people. It's ridiculous."

So, very cold.

"Give up on it all boy, you are no longer needed." Merlin felt his cheeks be gripped and he was forced to look up in the glowing eyes of Henry Udovic. "Now, why don't you go and take a walk my boy? And _clear your head of such notions._"

And, as if possessed, Merlin slowly took to his feet, eyes glazed and walked. And walked. And walked.

Until there was nothing.

No one.

Until he was deep in the heart of the forest, stood in the open glade where the whole ordeal had begun, and his legs failed him, exhausted.

And it was only as Merlin's head hit the floor that he knew the actions were not his own, the emotions not his own, everything of the curve of despair within him was carved out by Udovic, and the empty pit fall of hopelessness was nothing but an illusion, cast onto him by the evil presence of that…that _un-dead_ man. Yes, Merlin knew all of this, he knew all of it to be fact, but his body was lifeless, his head spinning in endless darkness, and his voice lost to nothing but a whisper. He curled into a foetal position and closed his eyes, which were brimming with ever present tears.

"Arthur…please…please, if you can hear me…help…I…I can't do this…I can't…fight him on my own." He hunched up even tighter, skin blue from the cold. "Arthur, please…Please, help me. Oh God help me please, I can't do this!" He sobbed, "Where are you? Where…Where are you? Oh God Arthur…Arthur please, where the hell are you? I need you!"

**END OF PART 1**

**Mwuhahah! Stay intone for part two, where things will finally start to get going – a few little teasers for part two –**

"_Don't you dare try to tell me it will be fine Gaius! He was bed ridden! It was as if he was soul less for pity's sake, he looked like the living dead! And now he's disappeared! He could barely talk yesterday, and now you're saying it's perfectly normal for him to have gone missing! Well! What do you have to say for yourself! Do take me for an idiot! I have eyes you know, a brain! It's is not normal! My Son has been enchanted, I'm no fool not to see that – this stinks of magic! And for that…I swear that I will have revenge!"_

_Arthur knew he was dreaming, he knew because Merlin was smiling and something told him that in real life this wasn't the case – Merlin was not smiling, he was in pain…_

"_Wake up!" He ordered to himself, screaming at the walls around, "Wake up!"_

_From behind him the beast roared and charged, but Arthur did not look around, he did not move from it's path. It was a dream, a stupid dream and he needed to wake up!_

"_You must flee, get out of this place!" She whispered, "It's not safe now – go! If you face him now then it is all over – for all of us!"_

"_Damn him to hell, that fool – I'll feed his liver to the devil when I lay my hands on him!"_

"_Arthur…" Merlin clasped the other tightly, his fingers gripping the others clothing tightly. "Oh God Arthur, Arthur Arthur…"_

"_Yes Merlin, I can hear you." The Prince replied. _

"_Pendragon's destiny, the countries fate entwined, but fear not, my good people, great heroes you will find. For before you lie battles, both bloody and glamorous. The question is, can they both live? Pendragon and his Emrys?" _


	9. Solacium Part 2

**Hey guys! My God, it's been aaaaages. I'm such a lazy shit, seriously. Well, here it is – an update at last! And hopefully, (and I know I said this last time) the next chapter will be up soon!**

**Fire dragonheart – **Thank you very much. :P

**Eco Lin – **Haha, glad you approve of Udovic not being human. :P Hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Kitterndragon – **One cannot live without the other you say…Well, we shall see.

**Peanutmeg** – Don't worry, Arthur will be coming to the rescue…sort of.

**Emiliexox – **Haha, what motive does Udovic have indeed? Soon we shall see. He really is a bit of a bastard.

**Catindahat –**Hope you didn't explode! I'm sorry this took so long, really I am! Enjoy!

**LadyFromPoland – **Thank you so much, I'm glad you are enjoying it so far. I wanted to do something where Arthur was in a position of weakness, and where he could be exploited, because I felt it wasn't done enough.

**IsabelEmrys – **I know what you mean about music, it really is rather special. A marching band you say? That's AWESOME.

**3466-0402 – **:P Enjoy

**Laws of Chaos**** – **Just a few more chapters and all will be…semi-well again.

**Lenonea**** – **I am rather mean, aren't I? Well, hopefully this will satisfy you until the juicy bit arrives.

**Rowllylovesgryffindor**** – **Sorry you had to wait! Enjoy!

**Authorqueen**** – **You are amazing, thank you soooo much!

**Fae666**** – **Sorry for the delay!

**Amber Peterson**** – **I'm back! I'm happy that you enjoy this fic, I think angst is important to get right! Thank you for the support.

**Many thanks to ****Authorqueen**** who beta'd this for me. You are awesome Queenie, thank you so much. And thank you to all those who reviewed, I appreciate it! I hope you all enjoy this!**

**I've not really much to say, other than the obvious –**

**I don't own any of the canon characters nor the interpretation of the story. Enjoy!**

_There was an odd silence to the world around him, and although it filled his head with__ sweet nothing Arthur felt that, more than just comfort him, it carved out emptiness within him. No, correction – it was the emptiness. He was laid in the hollow pit of his own mind and he was wordless._

_Had he been half the man he wanted to be he would have been on his feet, fighting his way out again, but every tendon and ligament felt cut in his body; not so that his limbs screamed in fire, but as if he were a puppet whose strings had been sliced. _

_Slowly he raised a hand and glanced to it, staring at the pale skin of his palm before gazing upward. A colourless sun lulled above him and he found that there was no pain in staring at its dull light. Was it wrong to care so little?_

"_I think I want to die." He stated, and then frowned at the emptiness of his own voice. In-fact, it wasn't even his own voice, it was an echo. He had said these words previously, and not thought anything of the tone, but now it began to bother him. Also, the fact that he had actually considered it._

_I think I want to die, not I __**want**__ to die. _

_Arthur sat up and looked around, and the lukewarm white about__ him transformed into the heat of his chamber so that he was sat up in bed, the fire roaring beside him and his mother sat at his side once more._

"_You need to wake up." She touched a hand to his forehead, "This is a dream." Despite this she sounded pleased._

"_Mother?" Arthur stared at her, and some nagging feeling within him told him that he should be more overjoyed to see her – though he couldn't fathom why. She was always with him. "Was the white before also a dream?"_

"_No Arthur, that was not a dream, it was the prison inside your heart. You'll go back there unless you wake up."_

"_I don't understand." The Prince could feel his head beginning to burn and he stood and paced. Everything was not as it seemed, yet it made so much damn sense so that it was completely incomprehensible. _

"_There are three worlds in your grasp Arthur. One is the living, one is the dream and the other is the halfway state of death."_

"_I was dead?"_

"_No Arthur, you were not dead. Y__ou were between life and death. Death is not in your options."_

"_Why not?"_

"_I won't allow it to be." Her blue eyes were burning and the Prince felt a little startled – they reflected what he imagined his looked like when he was passionate. _

"_Why am I here?" He asked._

"_You are here because you must choose." She stated, "Return to your dead state and you will feel no pain, no hurt and you will not remember. You will be freed from anguish, but also freed from joy. If you wake than you break the spell Udovic has placed upon you and must flee, wounded as you are, but able to feel."_

_Arthur slowly sank down against the window, his head in his hands. Neither option sounded pleasant, they made his stomach turn. _

"_And if I stay here?" He asked._

"_That you cannot do."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because __**it**__ will catch you eventually, you must choose."_

"_But – but that's not fair!" Arthur cried out furiously, "I don't want to feel this pain, but I don't want to be hollow any longer. O…Oh God, I don't know what I want."_

_Cool hands touched his brow and his mother knelt down at his side, holding him to her as she caressed her fingers down his back._

"_I am sorry that you must do this, I am sorry that you are so hurt. But you must decide Arthur or-" And suddenly the voice had changed completely, twisting and dropping so that Udovic had hold of him, "-I'll decide for you."_

_Arthur threw himself back with horror and scrambled to his feet, arms raised in defence as the monster bef__ore him threw his head back in hysterics. His face was rotting, like his soul and Arthur could smell the pungent stench of moulding flesh piercing his nostrils._

"_Come on to Arthur, don't fight it – embrace it." Udovic stretched out his arms but Arthur bolted to the side before rushing to the door and tearing it open. _

_Leaping into the corridor he slammed the door on Udovic's roaring laughter and lunged down the __hall, breathing hard. The empty walls of the corridor greeted him all around and he spun on the spot, trying to gain his bearings. The sight looked far too disturbingly familiar…_

_A sudden bone-shattering roar pierced through the __hallway and Arthur's face fell as realization dawned through him at the remembrance. "Oh."_

_Turning he leapt down the opposite way, panic jumping through him as he attempted to out run the monster that was just out of sight, but close on his tail, following his scent._

"_Where's my sword when I need it!" He demanded to nobody in particular, skidding down another corridor as he shouted out. "Hello!" He ran with all his might, calling out for anybody to hear. Surely __**someone**__ would be around! "Is there anyone there!" The Prince demanded as a crash chorused after him, a little too close for comfort._

'_Why should there be anybody around…This is my mind, isn't it? But…But surely aspects of my life should be here…My father maybe…?' _

_Turning another corner Arthur was all but giving up hope when he went head first straight into another person. Both instantly stumbled back and the Prince looked up with a furious snarl._

"_Merlin you bumbling idiot-….Wait…Merlin!" The Prince cried joyously to his baffled servant who was apparently still reeling from the hit. "What are you doing here?"_

"_What are you talking about?" The dark haired boy replied, rubbing his forehead. "I've always been here."_

_Arthur paused at the familiarity of these words, and for the first time he really looked at Merlin, staring at him as the other gave him a baffled smile, shrugging his shoulders._

"_What?" The servant asked._

"_Why are you here?" Arthur asked and Merlin smiled, as if this had been the right question to ask all along._

"_It's our destiny." He replied, before laughing as another roar echoed out behind Arthur, far too close this time. But the Prince couldn't hear it, he was staring at Merlin with narrowed eyes, brow lowered in confusion. "What's wrong?" Merlin asked._

"_I'm dreaming." The Prince replied._

"_What?"_

"_I am – there's something wrong here." _

_Arthur touched the wall to the side of him, half expecting his hand to melt though them. The stone was solid enough, even though Arthur knew he was dreaming. Yet, despite his sleeping state, a part of him must have been conscious, a part of him linked with the conscious world. Because Merlin was smiling in this world and yet something told him that in real life this wasn't the case – Merlin was not smiling, he was in pain…_

"_Arthur?" Merlin asked again, but the Prince ignored him, ignored the monster that appeared at the end of the corridor, ignored the desperate urge within him to run – he blocked them all out, the world spinning around him. He suddenly knew which path he had to choose._

"_Wake up!" He ordered to himself, screaming at the walls around, "Wake up!"_

_From behind him the beast roared and charged, but Arthur did not look around, he did not move from its path. It was a dream, a stupid dream and he needed to wake up!_

"_**Arthur**__!" Merlin dove in a panic to defend the other, but Arthur threw him to the side with a defiant shove, a snarl on his face. No – he would not let Merlin sacrifice himself again as he'd seen him do last time, it was quite out of the question._

_The beast shrieked and dove down as Arthur turned, arms outstretched, his face twisting fiercely._

"_**Come on then!"**__ He shouted, tilting his head back, eyes blazing, __**"Just try me!"**_

_The monster roared, razor-like__ teeth coming down sharply toward him just as Arthur felt the familiar weight of his sword appear in his hand. The Prince raised his weapon with an almighty shout of defiance, his stance dropping automatically as his eyes lost all fear. With a tremendous clash the two powers met in the centre, teeth to metal, brain to heart. _

_**~SOLACIUM ~**_

Arthur sat up with a start just as Cecilia pulled away from him, releasing her hands which had been pressed either side of his temple. The boy looked around with a start, the adrenalin of battle still pacing through his body. "Cecilia?"

"Oh Arthur!" Cecilia threw herself into his arms and hugged him close, almost weeping with relief, "Thank God you are awake!"

"C-Cecilia?" The Prince blinked, confused as she pulled away, her face filled with urgency.

"I thought you were completely trapped, I've been trying to break through but I wasn't sure whether you could hear me. Oh, thank god you woke up!"

"I-…But-…" Arthur blinked, looking around, "What the hell is going on?" He asked, utterly bemused.

"I cannot tell you – we don't have enough time." Cecilia gripped his hands urgently, "You must flee, get out of this place!" She whispered, "It's not safe now – go! If you face him now then it is all over – for all of us!"

"I don't understand!"

"We don't have time – your friend is in danger, and as long as he is so are you!"

"My fr-…Merlin!" A sudden jolt ran through Arthur and he leapt form the bed, a strange feeling filling him as he stared to Cecilia, eyes wide in horror. "What…I can feel something strange. What…What happened while I was asleep…What…" He paused, "Why is it so cold?"

Cecilia shook her head slowly, biting her bottom lip. "Arthur, I can tell you nothing and I cannot help you. I can only urge you to flee – Merlin is in terrible danger and he needs you as much as you need him. You must go to him, and you must stay hidden. Please – hurry. If Udovic finds out I helped you-…" She drew off, taking Arthur's hands. "Go, for the love of God."

Arthur stared into her eyes, confusion, anger and bafflement twisting through him, and nodded, his fingers tightening over hers. Because God knew he had no idea what was going on, but what he knew was enough.

He was going to find Merlin and he was going to trust Cecilia.

_**~SOLACIUM ~**_

Getting past the guards had turned out to be disturbingly easy, and Arthur made a mental note to check up on that in the future – if getting out past them was so damned easy, he dreaded to think how many people had gotten _in_ the same way.

Carefully he picked his way through the forest and sighed, looking up at the sky through the foliage. It felt nice to move, though he was stiff, and the cold air was refreshing. He felt comforted by the clean taste the world around him seemed to have.

Of course, gallantly claiming he would go to find Merlin had been good and all, but Arthur had no idea where the other boy was.

Closing his eyes, he pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing out slowly as he tried to think. Merlin hadn't been in the castle – that much he'd gotten from Cecilia, but where the hell else could he be? Surely he hadn't returned home, he had no cause to…So he must have been somewhere out here, doing…what?

"Come on Merlin you idiot, help me out here." He grumbled, opening his eyes and looking all around before setting off again. He allowed his feet to carry him forward, not really thinking of where he was going, but relying on years of experience to guide him across the woods and along paths he subconsciously knew. "Alright – if I were a clumsy, useless servant who can't get up to do his chores on times, and doesn't know the meaning of respect, where would I be?" The Prince asked himself. "I…Would be…Er – hiding?" He stopped and cursed himself, "Great deduction Arthur – how about you come up with a useful one now?" He continued again, his brow lowered in thought. "Come on Merlin, where are you?" He sighed, running his hands up through his hair. "Alright, where do I go when I need to think?" He spoke aloud to fill the silence – lack of human company was started to freak him in a way that it never had before. "I'd go…and hunt. Right, there's a start…So where would Merlin go?" Arthur stopped dead and mentally smacked himself, starting off again at a run. Of course – how could he be so stupid! Where did Merlin go when he was upset? What did he do when he was worried? Simple – he followed Arthur, mostly because it was Arthur making him upset, and Arthur worrying him – leading the pair of them on through a cursed section of wood, hunting a man eating monster, attacking an army of thieving bandits. Merlin always followed Arthur, he never left the man alone - he'd follow him to hell and back for God's sake, how could Arthur have been so stupid? Where had everything started – the whole saga, as far as Merlin was concerned? The glade. Merlin would go there, he would 'follow' Arthur in the only way he could, by walking through his journey.

Running, Arthur grinned at his own genius and moved swiftly through the trees, ducking beneath branches as he hurried. His heart was beating fast with the urgency which pumped through him, as well as the triumph he suddenly felt – finding Merlin was the right thing to do, every step toward him made the ache in his body lessen. For some reason Merlin's presence was just good.

Breaking through the last of the trees Arthur stopped short as his eyes came to rest upon a figure curled up in the centre of the clearing. His grin dropped immediately and his eyes widened. Merlin was very still.  
"Merlin?" He called, and ran across to him, "Merlin? Merlin!" He shook the other's shoulder, "What the hell are you doing out here – Jesus, you're freezing!" He turned the boy over and stared, stricken, into his servant's white, slumbering face. "No…Come on, wake up you idiot!" He cried, his hands moving across Merlin's freezing skin. "Wake up! Wake up Merlin, open your eyes or I swear to God-…!" He slapped him across the face, "I command you **to wake up!"**

With a jolt Merlin's eyes flashed open, as if the order had someone pulled at an in-build mechanism within him, and he stared up into the blue eyes of the Prince who let him drop back, relief evident in his face.

"Oh thank God – I thought I was going to have to drag you all the way back up to Camelot and have Gaius fuss over you." The Prince gave a relieved sigh as Merlin sat up, the movement stiff and his eyes bleary and unfocused.

"Arthur…?" He breathed, and his brow lowered in doubt as the other folded his arms and gave the servant a condescending nod.

"Yes Merlin, that's my name – you forgot to add Prince, but seeing as you're apparently half-dead I'll let it slide- Merlin?" Arthur's face twisted in confusion as the dark-haired man suddenly scrabbled completely upright and moved toward him, his hands outstretched. Merlin's fingers tangled themselves into Arthur's tunic and he stared to the Prince with watery eyes.

"Arthur…" He breathed, his lips quivering. "Oh God Arthur, Arthur, Arthur…"

"Yes Merlin, I can hear you." The Prince replied.

"How…How are you here? You…-You were dead to the world…You…I couldn't…_How are you here?_"

Arthur paused, and felt himself shiver as if cold fingers were sliding down his neck. He gulped silently and looked away. "I…Woke up. I needed to wake up and so I did. Cecilia told me to get out, to come and find you…To get away from…Look, it doesn't matter – I'm here now, absolutely fine and cold, so…"

"-But…" Merlin whimpered.

Arthur looked down, covering Merlin's hands with his own and gently prying the boy's fingers from where they were tightly gripping his clothes. "Come on – you're freezing. I'm going to make a fire – let go."

But Merlin didn't let go, his shoulders shaking as sudden tremors tore through him, his fingers clamping closed. Arthur watched him concernedly as Merlin dropped his head, tucking his chin into chest as he began to hiccup for air.

Arthur was torn. A great part of him wanted nothing more than to peel Merlin off of him and cough over the awkwardness of the situation, whereas the core of him watched with distress as Merlin began to sniff, barely containing the tears which threatened his eyes.

Finally his gut feeling won over and Arthur clasped Merlin's shoulder and forced him to look up. Merlin did so, his teeth set hard into his lip.

"I'm sorry." Arthur whispered, "I'm sorry if I made you worry – I…I wasn't right… inside, but…But we'll get past this, through this…I just need you to snap out of it and help me. Alright?" He squeezed the other's shoulder and Merlin sniffed again, hiccupping as he nodded.

"Sorry." He whispered, "I'm sorry I couldn't help…I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

"When has it ever been your job to protect me?" Arthur pulled a sceptical face and Merlin froze, staring wide eyes at him. A moment later the manservant had burst into peels of laughter, and Arthur, slightly unnerved by this sudden display, released the boy and allowed him to collapse onto his side with his hilarity. "Okay…" He muttered and stood, going to the edge of the glade where he began to rip the branches from the trees. "When you've finished being useless, perhaps you could come over here and help me?" The Prince grumbled over his shoulder and looked around to the branch again, yanking. Despite the force of his pulling the wood wouldn't come loose however and he growled and yanked again even harder. The motion brought on a sudden sense of dizziness, his muscles weak as suddenly his inability to rip the branch free became almost a little distressed. After a few long moments of pulling with all his might Arthur kicked the tree in fury and heard Merlin get up behind him, still laughing.

"Grab another branch." He called and Arthur muttered angrily under his breath.

"Another branch – this one should do! Why won't it come off!"  
"It's a piece of nature Arthur, it doesn't do as you command. Grab another piece."  
Arthur ignored him and yanked at the offending branch once more, until he almost felt ridiculous. And suddenly he felt like the struggle was symbolic of the fight against Udovic, of his insignificance, his inability to fight back. He felt dizzy with anger.

"Arthur?"

The Prince slumped up against the tree trunk, abandoning the branch. "I hate him." He whispered, "I'm in the middle of a bloody wood, hiding from my own family, running away from my own home because he…" He stopped and pushed himself upright, face alight with fury. "And this stupid branch isn't helping!"

Next second Merlin's pale hands had hold of the branch and he was pushing it down. Although the man still appeared shaken, his arms weak and shivering slightly, a goofy smile of determination was on his face "You pull upward, I'll pull downward from here."

Arthur frowned, and then took hold of the branch and yanked it hard upward, feeling the wood bend. The branch snapped away from the tree, and the pair pulled it clear together.

_**~SOLACIUM ~**_

"Sire, if I might be allowed to offer my personal opinion, you mustn't be alarmed. I'm sure that everything-"

"-Don't you dare try to tell me it will be fine Gaius! He was bed ridden! It was as if he was soulless, for pity's sake! He looked like the living dead! And now he's _disappeared_!" Uther turned sharply on his heal from where he was pacing the floor of Arthur's chambers, his face twisted with fury and burning concern. "He could barely talk yesterday, and now you're saying it's perfectly normal for him to have gone missing!" The King turned on his Physician, "Well!" He demanded, "What do you have to say for yourself! Do take me for an idiot! I have eyes you know, a brain! This is not normal! My son has been enchanted, I'm no fool not to see that. This reeks of magic! And for that…I swear that I will have revenge!" The King pointed to the guards who stood outside the door, "Call a meeting with the Knights, I want a search party and I want my son found! Now!"

"Sire, please-"

"-Unless you can tell me what has become of my boy, Gaius, you can concern yourself with remaining silent!" Uther snarled, glaring around to him. His worry made him cruel and Gaius cast his eyes away, his own gut twisting with concern. Merlin had disappeared, and now so had Arthur. In some way it was assuring that both were gone, because it meant there was a high chance they were together, but that didn't ease the worry any less, for either Gaius, or Uther, the latter of which had no such reassurance.

Gaius sighed and turned his eyes back to the empty bed before gathering his things and walking sullenly out of the room. He could only trust that his ward was alright, and that the Prince was also fine, if they weren't…Well, many unfortunate people would burn for it.

Moving silently down the corridor he was stopped when an abrupt, but hushed voice from the door beside him disturbed him of his thoughts. He stopped, listening in to Udovic who was cursing fluently.

"Damn him to hell, that fool – I'll feed his liver to the devil when I lay my hands on him!"

From the sound of it the Lord was pacing his room, muttering feverishly to himself. Gaius pressed his ear to the door, unable to contain his curiosity.

"No…I mustn't be disheartened – Arthur will return, he wouldn't abandon his lands so readily…And when he does that little warlock brat of his will come bouncing behind his heels…Nobody likes a sorcerer. Uther will not hear of it – that his son was enchanted by his serving boy... hah, I'll have him burnt before the day is out and Arthur will be mine again. Don't worry…Soon, all will be well my dear, soon I will take my place as I should have done years ago."

A sudden noise and movement ahead of him made Gaius spring upward, alarmed, his heart hammering painfully in his chest as his eyes came to meet Cecilia's, who stared to him unblinkingly.

"My Lady." He bowed to her hurriedly, and rushed past, ignoring the strange titter which passed from her lips. He could only hope she would not report to her husband what she had seen.

As he turned the corner the faint lulling tune of some sort of ode reached his ears, Cecilia singing it softly in a trance-like state.

"Pendragon's destiny, the countries fate entwined,  
but fear not, my people, great heroes you'll find.  
For before you lay battles, both bloody and glamorous.  
The question is; can they both live? Pendragon, and his Emrys?"

_**~SOLACIUM ~**_

**And that's all folks! Please leave a review! And now…a little taster for the instalment – **

_The monstrosity rose onto it's hiend legs with a terrible scream as Merlin stumbled back, eyes wide__, it's bear like face twisted as it's giant eagle wings whipped through the air threateningly._

"_Isn't that-" He began, but Arthur grabbed his sleeve and forced him quickly to his feet._

"_-Not the time Merlin, let's go!"_

"_I thought you were joking!"_

"_So did I! Now __**run!**__"_

"_Please my Lord, don't be unreasonable! Merlin, responsible for Arthur's condition! It can't be, he's devoted to him! Uther, he saved his life! They're friends."_

"_This is my final word Morgana – you will remain silent!"_

"_But Uther-!"_

"_-I'll hear no more of it! That servant is to be found and burnt at the stake! Magic will not be tolerated!"_

_Arthur fell back, his eyes wide in horror as Merlin stared down to him, his own face filled with terror and uncertainty, his shoulders still shaking from the strain of magic._

"_You…" Arthur choked, "You're…You're a-"_

_The warmth of skin against his own chased out the chill Udovic had put over him. He felt weak, shaken and almost dead, and Arthur was bleeding, but somehow it didn't matter. The shock of the attack, the shock of the truth sent them spiralling into their own world of madness, and Merlin found strength at the feel of his Prince's arms wrapped tightly around him. _

"_Something's coming." Cecilia murmered, staring out onto the battlements, her eyes glowing faintly as a smile curled across her face. "The once and future King is returning!" _


	10. Blood and Magic

**AN UPDATE!**

**Aha, so yes – after a fantastically bizarre, chance meeting with the Beta at Winchester, I was forced to face up to my serious crimes of neglect and see to it that I finished and posted this chapter. Guys…It's been seven months, and I'm ashambed of myself. **

**On the bright side – I have a dead-line for the next chapter, and when I have a deadline I tend to be pretty good. I'm in the middle of exams at the moment and super, duper busy. I know lots of you are too, so I hope this can come as a nice, refreshing break. **

**Thanks again to the awesome 'AuthorQueen' who Beta'd, couldn't have done it without you deary…literally. **

**And in response to all of you who were kind enough to leave me a review –**

**Darkenwood – **And the one request you asked of me, I could not deliver. Here, however, is an update, and I hope to giving you more in the future!

**3466-0402 – **My Uther is very 'Uther-ish' eh? Glad to hear it! I hope I maintain that in this chapter…I can almost hear his voice ringing now…

**Cryingpurplerose – **Well, I didn't update soon, but I have updated! Hope you can still enjoy.

**Fire Dragonheart – **You're a one word kind of person, aren't you? :P Thanks.

**Ariacle – **I hope this chapter is as good as you expected it to be! Sorry for the long wait!

**Rae666 – **I really do hope that this was worth the wait, thank you for your kind words.

**Emiliexox – **Yes, Udovic is a bitch. Glad you liked the part with Arthur's mother too. Hopefully this is up to standards…

**LadyFromPoland – **Now here's a question, are you actually from Poland? And yes – this chapter, all secrets are revealed…Well, not all of them, but…You know…Some. Hope you enjoy!

**Merl7 – **I'm glad you are enjoying this story, I enjoyed doing this chapter, so I think that's a good sign…

**IsabelEmrys – **I hope this update can also top your day/week, though I very much doubt it. Regardless, please enjoy.

**Catindahat – **You say they can't burn Merlin, sure they can – Uther is King, remember and he will 'Not tolerate magic!' – Sheesh, what a bitch. We'll just have to see what happens.

**Authorqueen – **You have no right to complain, you got to read it first. :P Thanks again for the amazing work.

**I bashed Voldie's head in** ** - **What an amazing name. And I hope this update wasn't too late to make you forget the plot!

**Ice Queen1 – **I detest giving up, and so I can only hope that this chapter can disrupt another one of your classes. Thank you for the kind words.

**Kimna – **That was possibly one of the most amazing review I have ever read, and it meant a lot to me, though you wrote it a while ago. This review actually stimulated me to write more of this chapter, so thank you very much and I hope it was worth the wait.

**Hieiko – **Oh yes, I love giving Arthur bad-ass moments, cus he's so scrumptious…Though, for that reason I also love to torture him…Angst. Yum. 

**And now, without further ado –**

**Disclaimer – I don't own these yummy, yummy people – aside from Udovic and Cecilia, the rest belong to British Mythology, and this portrayal is the BBC's. **

**ENJOY!**

**SOLACIUM**

"Uther, tell me what I have just heard isn't true!" The doors of Uther's private chambers burst open with a riotous slam as Morgana charged through, her pale, haughty eyes ablaze with anger. "You're convicting Merlin of sorcery – that's ridiculous!"

Uther put down his quill with a scowl as he looked up to his ward. "I've no time for your prattle Morgana – the boy is to be found and executed."

"You can't do this!"

"Yes I can, I am King and magic will not be permitted in my kingdom!"

"Merlin is as much of a sorcerer as I am!" Morgana slapped her hands down onto the table, her face twisted and flared with fury. "Please my Lord, don't be unreasonable! Merlin, responsible for Arthur's condition! It can't be - he's devoted to him! Uther, he saved his life! They're friends!"

"This is my final word Morgana – you will remain silent!"

"But Uther-!"

"-I'll hear no more of it! That servant is to be found and burnt at the stake! Magic will not be tolerated!"

"For God's sake, listen to yourself! You're convicting a boy to death who couldn't even hurt a fly! Even if he _did_ have magic - he would never harm Arthur! You're hatred has blinded you, but you'll see. When Arthur comes back, you'll see they're together. He'll defend him to the end!"

Uther snarled, "My son is under that sorcerer's enchantment, he won't know what he's doing!"

"You have no evidence of that!"

"Lady Morgana." A smooth voice suddenly spoke out from the doorway and the woman leapt and looked around. "I'm afraid it's true." Udovic looked sincerely regretful.

"Henry?" She whispered, her brow lowered in disbelief.

"I saw the boy using magic myself – I'm under no doubt that he was responsible for Arthur's condition now. I'm sorry Morgana, I understand he was a friend of yours."

From behind Uther gave a stifled laugh, "A servant, friends with Morgana? It's a bit of a generous word, Henry."

"No, it's not." Morgana's eyes hardened and she looked around to Uther. Something had been stirring within her for several days, as if a part of her consciousness had been loose. Suddenly it clicked into place, as if it were a recovered memory, and with it came anger. Great anger.

Udovic had threatened to rape her maid, had had Merlin nearly whipped to death…And the way he had looked at Arthur, the way he looked at him as if he were something to be devoured…Suddenly Morgana remembered those words she had spoken to Arthur the night she saw Udovic exit from his room.

"_There's something evil about him – I can feel it, something inhuman."_

She narrowed her eyes, almost a little dizzy. She felt these facts, the memory had been hidden behind a wall deep with her, and suddenly that wall was gone and she saw clear as day how revolting Udovic truly was. How despicable. "You're wrong Udovic and it's only a matter of time before Arthur returns and proves that."

"Morgana, you will show more respect to our honourable guest." Uther stood, furious and Morgana turned back to him with a snarl.

"I don't see anybody honourable in this room." She spat, "And certainly nobody worthy of my respect." She turned on her heal and stalked away.

"Morgana!" Uther shouted after her but she refused to even dignify him with a response, staring straight ahead to the door. "Morgana!"

She stalked out into the hallway, her cheeks bright with fury. Uther was bewitched by his friendship for Udovic, but soon enough he would see the despicable monster beneath, and if not then Morgana would make him.

_**~SOLACIUM ~**_

"Warmer yet?" Arthur asked, prodding the fire sullenly as Merlin nodded, drawing a blanket tighter around his shoulders. Fortunately for the manservant his master wasn't a complete idiot and had packed a few provisions. The blankets were thin, easily portable, but made of a rich material and insulated with silk. "Good. Now do you want to explain what you were doing sleeping out here? Because really – your stupidity knows no bounds."

"Thanks, Sire."

"Honestly Merlin, you could have died."

Merlin bit his bottom lip and looked down to the floor, his fingers twisting the blanket in distress. Arthur rolled his eyes, shifting over.

"Come on Merlin, you can tell. What happened?"

"I don't think-"

"-I know you don't." Arthur cut him off before the boy could make an excuse, turning his words against him. The black haired boy gave him a small smile and folded his arms over his chest. "But try, for my sake – even if it hurts your brain."

"I know what Udovic did to you." The words burst out of Merlin's mouth, unrefined and frightened and immediately the Prince felt a stab-like jolt shudder through him. He blinked and then looked away, and then stood and then began to pace, and then stopped only to start again. Merlin watched him in silence all through the routine until finally the blonde turned back to the boy.

"_How_?" He managed to whisper, his eyes wide.

"Joahnus…He told me Udovic had been abusing you since you were a child…I remember the way you acted when you thought maybe he had done something to me…I remember your fear, then seeing your relief and…now I realise your anger. Because he was singling you out, abusing you…Everything made so much sense. I-" Merlin was cut off as Arthur began to pace again, his head in his hands and strides furious. "Arthur, please don't be angry at me for prying-"

"I'm not angry Merlin, I'm embarrassed…I'm ashamed." Arthur turned on him and the dark-haired boy stared up to him in horror.

"Ashamed?"

"Yes Merlin."

"Why?"

"Because I became that bastard's private whore, I wasn't strong enough to fight him off…He just kept…He…" Arthur drew off with a furious growl and continued to pace. "And now you know – now you know how pathetic I am."

"No Arthur!" Merlin leapt to his feet, "You're not pathetic! There's nothing pathetic about you! He used you – you were a victim!"

"_Mer_lin," Arthur turned and grabbed the boy's front. "I am a knight, I have been been trained to defeat scum like him for _years_!"

"It wasn't that simple Arthur, and you know it!" Merlin replied, his voice rising.

"For God's sake, even Gwen had the power to refuse him. If I had been strong enough the first time he would never have tried again. But I gave him what he wanted and he had blackmail over me for the rest of my life!"

"You were a child!"

"And I should have known better! I should have been strong enough to stop him, not just run away and limit the times he could…see me." Arthur gritted his teeth, his cheeks coloured in deep shame. "Dammit, I should have done something-"

"-He was using magic!" The words burst out of Merlin so suddenly and Arthur let him go and stumbled back, eyes wide.

"What…?" He whispered and Merlin sagged.

"Well…Not magic, _magic…_But something equally as powerful…Something evil Arthur. It's why I was down here – he did something to me, took control of me. I couldn't control myself…He manipulates emotions Arthur, he has a weird power."

"What are you trying to say?" Arthur's eyes were as round as coins, his heart in his mouth.

"I'm saying…that he isn't…human." Merlin replied, hesitantly, his eyes cast down to the floor. Arthur sank down onto his knees.

"Not human…?" He whispered. "Udovic…is not…human?"

"No." Merlin replied, "There was something…under his skin…Something just…evil. He…" Merlin put his hands over his mouth, and his eyes began to water again, "Oh God Arthur… I'm so sorry for what he did to you."

Arthur reeled back as if he had been stung. "Why?" He asked, shaken.

Merlin shook his head, shivering and sniffing, his shoulders shaking. Something was tearing at the boy from the inside and for a moment, as they met eyes, it was clear that both were as broken as the other. The sight set Arthur's mind reeling and he gave out a giddy laugh, the pair of them looked so pathetic. Merlin seemed to also be on the same wave length, because he did the same and they giggled weakly. For a moment neither spoke and then Arthur stood, picking up his sword and giving it an experimental twirl before thrusting it forward into an imagery foe's chest. Merlin sat very still and watched him and Arthur gave out a frustrated sigh.

"I wish I had something to…stab." He said finally and Merlin raised his eyebrows and gave out a long laugh of disbelief.

"To stab? – Honestly, does that make it better?"

"You're a girl Merlin, you wouldn't understand."

"Sorry, let me just go get you an innocent creature to maim to vent your frustration." Merlin replied and Arthur eyed him.

"If you keep on like that you won't need to _get_ anything." He threatened and Merlin raised his hands in defence, dropping his head as Arthur turned back.

"What do we do now?"

"I don't know." The Prince mumbled, "I…" He cut himself off with a grunt and shook his head, frustration seeping through every pore in his body. "I really need something to stab."

Merlin opened his mouth to give another wise-crack reply when a sudden, deafening roar exploded through the woods around him and caused them both to leap a foot in the air. Arthur's hand immediately flung to his sword and he swerved away, his fingers tightened around the hilt. Through the trees a monstrosity bonded out, threatening them furiously with its wild teeth, his head tossing from side to side in rage. Clearly they were in its territory. Arthur immediately lengthened his stance, years of training doing for him what it could as his racing thoughts caught up with themselves. The creature was humongous, taller than a man, with a proud beige chest and dark mane. Its lion like body was three times the size of the original, and its shoulder rippled with extra weight beneath the eagle like wings it supported on its back. Its dark muzzle rippled as it snarled, preparing to roar again.

Arthur blinked, stunned as Merlin stumbled back, his mouth opening and closing in shock.

"Isn't that-" He began, but Arthur had grabbed his sleeve and forced him quickly to his feet before he could continue.

"-Not the time Merlin, let's go!" The Prince bellowed and together they turned and fled backward into the wilderness. Merlin looked back as the creature began to chase after them, screaming wrathfully.

"I thought you were joking!" The manservant cried and Arthur just forced his legs faster.

"So did I! Now **run!**" He seized the front of Merlin's shirt and shoved him ahead, the two diving down to the side along the path, the creature skidding behind them.

"Hurry – along here!" Merlin cried as he jumped down into a trench, and slid down to where it opened onto another path through a doorway of branches. Arthur followed and the creature, too large to pass through, screeched and was forced to go back and leap up into the air, flying above the trees. At the bottom of the path a rock face blocked their way out and dead ended them between the wall and the furious creature.

"Oh – great idea Merlin!" Arthur shouted angrily before leaping to the side as the creature dove down toward them. Merlin dove the other way and the two were separated, the creature looking between them. Arthur scrambled back as it turned its head toward him and pulled back its lips, snarling, and then a rock hit the side of its face and Merlin was there, throwing another.

"Look here, you – you…Oversized – bird-bear-thingy."

Oh yes – That was Merlin, King of wit.

Arthur would have laughed if the monster hadn't then turned toward Merlin and leapt at him, mouth wide and teeth ready to tear. Running on complete instinct the Prince leapt to his feet and swung his sword down into the monster's shoulder joint. It wasn't a critical blow – but it did its job.

The Prince's victory was short lived however when, with a howl the Monster staggered back, and then with an angry shriek swung it's forepaw around and struck Arthur, throwing him back into the wall. He creature's claws ripped through his skin and as he struck the rock the air was forced out of him, so that he landed, stunned and wheezing on the floor.

"Arthur!"

'_I could really use Sir Leon right now…'_ The Prince thought hazily to himself as he tried to force his way up, _'Or that guy Lancelot…He could help too.'_ He paused, _'Hell even Morgana-' _

-Arms around his waist were suddenly forcing him up. The monster, in its agony was trying to pry Arthur's sword from where it was lodged into its shoulder, and had forgotten about its prey. Merlin had circled around it and was at Arthur's side, his face marred with worry, deep and whole-heartedly concerned. In that instant Arthur was wholesomely glad that it was Merlin with him. "Come on, come on!" Merlin begged and Arthur staggered to his feet, dizzy and all but unresponsive. The weeks' trails had eaten at his strength, and he was losing blood fast.

With Merlin's spindly arms practically hauling him onward they stumbled away from the creature. Arthur's vision was blurring quickly and he could feel his feet slagging, but with Merlin's desperate, frightened breathing almost deafening him at the side, he managed to motivate himself to take each step as it came.

They moved toward an opening in the rocks, a cave and were limping through it when the beast suddenly roared again and, to both of their horror, came after them, screeching. Merlin dropped Arthur as the monster leapt into the opening of the cave, gnashing its teeth out toward them. It had evidently succeeded in removing Arthur's sword, and now the Prince was weapon-less and losing strength fast. Merlin looked helplessly to him, and in an instant he saw a fear so great, so strong and painful in the servant's eyes, that it almost put a choke hold on him. He fumbled back against the wall, pushing himself to his feet as Merlin stood before him, shielding him, so that Arthur had to shout over the cacophony of noise to tell him to get out of the way. He didn't.

"Move! Merlin!"

The creature swiped toward them and Arthur managed to tip himself forward from the support of the wall behind and snag Merlin's shirt with his fingers, ripping him backward through the air and tumbling him to the side. In the process the Prince lost his own balance and fell back once more, missing the wall this time and sprawling across the floor, totally helpless. The beast lunged in for the kill.

"Arthur!" Merlin scrabbled to his feet and placed himself before the attack, standing between his Prince and the jaws of the creature.

_The sickening crunch and splintering of bone, the spray of blood as the teeth sank in further, the rib-cage giving way between the jaws of the monster._

"**Merlin!**" He screamed to the boy before him and then…Then something strange happened. He felt a tugging within him, so similar to that he had felt when he and Merlin had fought for the first time in the market place…And a wave of light erupted through the cave, a force so strong, so strangely pure that it warmed Arthur in an instant, and then made his blood run cold.

He could not understand the words Merlin chanted, he did not know the tongue or even the creed…But he felt them, felt their intention as if he did understand, as if he was suddenly capable of seeing into Merlin's very soul. Such fierce loyalty, such love and the powerful, almost overwhelming need to protect. And it was bottomless, deep as the ocean, burning like fire and so…strange, so far away, even though the cave was filled with it. Even though Arthur felt strangely as if…As if he had known it all his life, as if he had always just had his back to it. He felt faint and enlightened in an instant, felt both lost and comforted…And then he rationalised and he really saw…

But it was only when the creature fell back, retreating as far as it could go, supporting heavy burns and wild look of terror in its eyes, that Arthur looked to Merlin, tremulously lowering his hand, breath hitched and teeth set…Yes, it was only then that Arthur _understood._

It was magic.

_**~SOLACIUM ~**_

Merlin didn't dare look around for a suspended moment. Finally, unable to stop himself, he turned to face his future King. Arthur was staring to him in horror, his mouth opening and closing as the realisation struck him dumb and Merlin stared down to him, his own face filled with terror and uncertainty, his shoulders still shaking from the strain of magic.

"You…" Arthur choked, "You're a…you're a…."

Merlin felt himself automatically move away, his teeth set into his lip. Arthur mounted to his feet, and the confusion, the anger and sudden burning within Arthur's eyes was too much to bear. Merlin closed his own eyes and dropped his head, waiting for Arthur to turn on him, to strike him, tie him down, scream in his face.

He heard Arthur move, and the next moment arms had taken hold of his shoulders and the two boys were falling back. Merlin's back hit the wall, and in the confusion of limbs he suddenly wasn't certain of how he felt, or even how Arthur felt.

"You're magic." Arthur was saying it over and over again. "You're a sorcerer."

"Yes…" Merlin managed to choke, and Arthur's chest was impossibly close to his, and then it was pressing against his, and then he could feel the Prince's full weight. Merlin titled his head back and they met in a harsh, confused kiss, breathing hard, fast, both in shock, both unsure of what they were doing.

"You're magic." Arthur broke his mouth away, and then pressed it again, and his eyes were wide, and frightened and so vulnerable, whilst his body appeared lost. Merlin caught those lips again, sobbing.

"Yes." He repeated, and groaned as Arthur got even closer. "Arthur, you're bleeding …You're wounds."

They kissed again, it was fast, urgent now, as if they were possessed, the heat flaring between them.

"You're magic."

"Your wounds Arthur."

"You're a sorcerer."

"You're bleeding."

Merlin's hands caught into Arthur's hair and he shuddered beneath his touch, the two sliding to the floor. The blonde was pressing harder now and, far from pulling away, Merlin was arching up to greet him. But their bodies seemed pointedly far away and insignificant – they were moving under their own accord, all Merlin could feel was Arthur's lips. And it frightened him.

And it frightened Arthur.

They should have been shouting, Merlin should have been begging, crying, even defending himself. And Arthur should have been screaming at him, lashing out to him, at best…telling him to run, get out of his sight, to never return. But with Merlin's body freezing, his heart aching both mentally and very physically, and with Arthur reeling from the shock of the truth, dizzy from blood loss and pumping with adrenalin, they seemed to have lost all of their control. They were kissing each other in an urgent explosion of emotion, of energy, their nerves buzzing through them demanding physical touch because they were both just so…frightened.

Merlin freed one of his hands and pressed it to Arthur's wounds, applying pressure as Arthur rolled so that Merlin wasn't lying on his injured back.

They broke away from their kiss and Merlin buried his face into the nape of Arthur's neck, gasping for breath and, crying, he realised. He pressed harder against the wound, and his hands were coated with blood. "I'm sorry Arthur." He sobbed, "I wanted to tell you…I'm sorry." He looked to the wound and, though he knew no spell, no words, his feelings – as they so often used to do – materialised into magic, and his eyes glowed a warm gold. Stray lines of magic sewed from his fingers and knitted the wound together, and Arthur was kissing him again, which was strange because Merlin was still sobbing. He calmed under Arthur's touch – his Prince's face was equally as soaked with tears. Confused, angry tears.

"You should have told me." Arthur said, "You're a sorcerer."

Merlin nodded and bit Arthur's bottom lip gently. His eyes slid closed, rolling backward into his head, until he was clamped in darkness, and every touch, every stroke and kiss and feeling was instinctual, some fumbled, some now practised. In that darkness there was only Arthur.

The kissing lessened which, despite the fact they were both desperate now, was good,

because Merlin's lips were hurting and trembling. But Arthur didn't pull away. The warmth of skin against Merlin's own chased out the chill Udovic had put over him. He felt weak, shaken and almost dead, and Arthur was still covered in blood, but somehow it didn't matter. The shock of the attack, the shock of the truth sent them spiralling into their own world of madness and Merlin found strength at the feel of his Prince's arms wrapped tightly around him.

They lay in silence, legs tangled, hands still roaming slightly, feeling the quickening of the heartbeat, the slight intake of breath when they did something right. Merlin brushed his lips along Arthur's neck, and it was cleaner this time, purposeful – the feeling shifted from the pressure being a purely physical, purely instinctual sensation, to a sexual one. A purposeful one.

Arthur stiffened and Merlin stopped. It was too much, too fast. Merlin calmed and the two settled again, Arthur's hand trailing lightly up and down his manservant's spine.

"Merlin."

Merlin slid his eyes open, his nose brushing against the blonde's own. "Yes?"

Arthur didn't respond, just settled back again and the dark-haired boy smiled and kissed Arthur's hair, and his temple, and then his cheek. The Prince tipped his head back to steal the final one with his own lips.

Darkness fell between them and the boys slept.

_**~SOLACIUM ~**_

It was late when Arthur woke again, his arms wrapped tightly around Merlin who was still sleeping, head slumped against Arthur's chest. Arthur was unsure of what his reaction should be by this. The world was clearer now, the previous haze of pain and heat gone, and his nerves had calmed.

Merlin was a sorcerer.

Arthur was more surprised by how little it surprised him. Of course it was a shock, it had sent him reeling…But when he thought about it, when he _looked_ at Merlin and drew back every memory he had of his troublesome manservant, it was hard not to conclude that yes…Yes, Merlin was a sorcerer. How had he always been there when Arthur needed him? How was it that strange, fortunate coincidences always managed to happen in the nick of time when they were in trouble? How had Merlin survived so long? Of course Merlin was a sorcerer – instinct had told Arthur that when they had first met.

"_There's something about you Merlin…I can't quite put my finger on it."_

So had it been denial maybe? Because Sorcery meant death in Camelot and magic was bad…Even though Merlin was good, and friendly and stupidly cheerful and energetic. So no – to Arthur, Merlin couldn't have been a sorcerer – it was ridiculous.

But he was. He was magic. It defied everything that Arthur had ever been taught. Magic was bad. Merlin was good. Merlin was magic. The last one was the only thing Arthur could be sure of now.

Cecilia's words floated to his mine.

"_I think swords are evil."_

_Arthur scoffed, "Swords can't be evil, they're just…Swords."_

"_Why can't they be evil?"_

"_They're things Cecilia, they don't have minds of their own, people have to wield them."_

"_So swords are only evil if their wielders are evil?"_

"_Swords aren't evil full stop. Their effects might be, yes, because of the wielder, but swords themselves are just tools."_

"_Isn't magic just a tool?"_

Yes…Perhaps Cecilia was right. Merlin had magic just as Arthur had his sword…But it was the intention behind it which made it use evil or good. God knew that Arthur had killed hundreds of men over the years…Why was it any different if Merlin used magic?

'_Because not everyone can use magic.'_

Arthur paused.

'_Not everyone can use a sword.'_

He closed his eyes.

'_I've never attacked an unarmed person.'_

He reopened his eyes and looked down to Merlin, jaw slacked and breathing soft against Arthur's throat.

'_Has Merlin?_

He thought, and the idea of Merlin attacking anybody without cause, without need...Well, he couldn't see it, couldn't even conceive it.

'_Alright.' _Arthur gave a shuddering sigh, _'So Merlin's a sorcerer…Alright. I can…I can deal with that…Alright. One issue down…Now…'_

He glanced down to Merlin again, taking in his full, slightly bruised lips, his pale, delicate face, the feel of his raven hair…

'_What. The. Hell. Am. I. Doing?'_

He let out a shuddering breath. Merlin was lying in his arms, his legs tangled with his own, the taste of his lips still in Arthur's mouth…But Arthur had never really looked at Merlin in that way, though he had always liked Merlin, had always felt oddly protective of him, enjoyed his company and thought, well maybe a little bit, that Merlin was strangely pretty.

But this was different. It was completely different.

The only man who had ever touched him had been Udovic.

Did that make Arthur like Udovic? But no – Merlin had responded to his touch, had initiated some of it. It wasn't the same.

Was Merlin like Udovic then?

No.

Not in a million years. No. Arthur shuddered at having ever even considered it. He subconsciously tightened his hold over Merlin, and this seemed to rouse his manservant a little. The dark haired boy blinked his eyes slowly open, mumbling as his gaze roamed from Arthur's chest and finally focused on his face. Neither moved, but simply stared to each other.

Arthur had been raped.

Merlin was a sorcerer.

They were locked in an embrace, the taste of one another's lips still lingering on their tongues.

Ok…

Which detail to sort through first?

Arthur leant forward, and very hesitantly, pressed a kiss to the side of Merlin's mouth. Both were tense, both were afraid. And yet as Arthur did it he felt Merlin automatically shudder at the touch and arch himself, ever so slightly, against the Prince's body. He enjoyed it – he liked it. Merlin was definitely holding Arthur because he wanted to. Arthur wasn't sure if this information shocked him, or excited him, or left him quizzically in-between. He moved his lips further toward Merlin's own, and Merlin's parted in welcome. Arthur could have pulled back then, could have decided that this experimentation was a complete failure.

But it wasn't. Merlin's mouth felt nice, and warm, and he tasted good.

Arthur rolled and pinned his manservant down and Merlin let him, wrapping his legs up around Arthur's waist. They faced one another, cheeks alight with colour, already a little breathless and both equally wanton.

"How long?" Arthur asked and Merlin shook his head.

"For what?"

"For this?"

"I don't know." Merlin closed his eyes and tipped his head back, revealing the expanse of his white neck, the delicate skin shuddering with his pulse. "I knew for certain…After you returned from Lamporth castle."

"Why didn't you say something, you idiot?"

"What would you have done?" Merlin responded and Arthur considered it for a moment. He wasn't sure – now, with Merlin so close, with him pressed up against Arthur like this…Things just made so much more sense.

"And the Magic?"

Merlin didn't respond. He cast his eyes down.

"Merlin?"

"Ever since I was born." He responded, and his voice was barely above a whisper. "I've just been able to…Do things. Move them with my mind, make things happen. Sometimes I could control it, sometimes I couldn't…Until I came to Camelot."

"What changed in Camelot?"

"I learnt about magic, I learnt sorcery, learnt to control my powers…Harness them for good."

Arthur was too exhausted to combat through all the emotions that were burning through him. A greater part of him wanted to seize Merlin by the shoulders and shout at him, demand why Merlin had never told him, ask how many times Merlin had betrayed his trust, even question the amount of times that Merlin may have enchanted him, used magic on him…

But he couldn't. One day he might need to, might have to question his friend, but for now…He simply couldn't He didn't have the energy, or really the need to. So instead he gave a soft laugh.

"All the places to learn Magic, and you choose the one country it's forbidden on pain of death?" He whispered and saw Merlin's ears go pink. He kissed them and Merlin arched into him again, his breath along Arthur's cheek. "You should have told me Merlin." He paused, "I should have been able to hear it." He corrected and he rolled, pulling Merlin on-top of him. He traced his hands beneath the manservant's shirt, and enjoyed feeling Merlin's skin shudder wantonly at the touch, his heart-beat murmuring through his delicate, porcelain coloured body.

"Arthur…" Merlin whispered, "You're not…Angry?"

"Merlin, you've lied to me all this time – of course I am." Arthur responded and nuzzled Merlin's jaw, touching his tongue to the soft tissue of Merlin's neck. "I'm sorry it took so long."

Because Arthur was angry, and he would have to question Merlin, and by God he was going to shake his manservant later for being such an idiot…

But at that point, with Merlin – no doubt – terrified as he was…It didn't matter. None of it mattered at all.

Camelot was in danger, and Arthur could feel his strength seeping back into him once more, warm and honey coloured. Merlin's hands tangled into his hair and Arthur knew…

Together – they were invincible.

_**~SOLACIUM ~**_

Cecilia walked along the battlements, staring out into the darkness beyond, her face oddly stoic. Morgana spotted her from the side and made at first to go the opposite direction before she changed her mind and approached Udovic's wife instead.

"You know your husband's a monster." She said boldly, and Cecilia glanced to her and smiled.

"My husband was never a monster." She responded softly, and looked back out toward the woodland.

"He's going to have Merlin killed – for being a sorcerer no less!"

"Maybe he is a sorcerer."

"Merlin did not do anything to Arthur!"

"I never said he did." Cecilia's voice was so lilting, so gentle, that even Morgana struggled to maintain her anger. She came and stood beside the woman. "Morgana, you mustn't misunderstand…I love you and Arthur more than anybody in the world. I wouldn't wish any harm to come over you…But this is now out of my control. Wherever he is…I cannot help Arthur now."

"What do you mean?"

"It's not my destiny." Cecilia looked deeply saddened, and then a strange excitement suddenly spread through her face and she straightened, suddenly alert. Morgana stared to her quizzically.

"What?" She asked, and looked out, trying to see what it was that had suddenly filled Cecilia's face with such glee. "What is it?"

"Something's coming." Cecilia murmured in response, staring out onto the battlements, her eyes glowing faintly as the smile curled across her face. "The once and future King is returning!"

_**~SOLACIUM ~**_

**And that's all folks! Stay tune for the next instalmenet. But before that – **

**Teasers!**

"_We have to take back Camelot – if what you say is right Merlin, than the city's in danger."_

"_But your father wants me dead – and it's my word against Udovics, he'll never believe me!"_

_A&M_

"_Gwen, Arthur and Merlin can't do this alone – we have to help them." Morgana seized Gwen's hand. "Udovic is dangerous, Arthur can't take back this city alone!"_

_A&M_

"_Udovic…What are you doing?" Uther slid back across the floor, his face alight with terrible horror. Udovic gave him a long, wide smile._

"_Well since everybody appears to be conspiring against me, I thought – why don't I just actually give them a reason too. I'm taking Camelot – now let's see how quickly your little princeling runs back."_

_A&M_

"_I always knew you were a traitor, beloved wife of mine!" Udovic cackled, raising his sword toward Cecilia's breast. She looked up to him with all the loving adoration in the world._

"_I could never betray my beloved husband." She responded and Udovic shrugged and pulled the sword back, Morgana lunging forward against Sir Leon's hold._

"_NO!" _

_A&M_

**Dun, dun, duuuuuuuun! Stay tune for the next instalment – if any of you are still alive and/or reading. Leave me a review!**

**Ta!**


	11. End of the Line

**To my long suffering readers – An update at last! This one was only three months late, rather than the previous seven, so I hope this will become a habit until I eventually cut down the time to a matter of weeks again.**

**So, Merlin Season 4 has started and it is AWESOME. I totally love the cast, and it looks like it's going to really be rather exciting. I hope this motivates me to update quicker. **

**Anyway, a huge Thank you to my AMAZING beta – AuthorQueen - who has had to suffer my company for the last few weeks as we both – remarkably – ended up in the same University without meaning too! And also a thank you to all of those who faved, alerted and especially reviewed – you guys keep me going and make me happy, and I couldn't do it without you!**

**A reply to anyone who reviewed the previous chapter -**

**LadyFromPoland – **Mwuhahaha, I hope the teasers from last chapter sum up nicely for this one. :D

**Heiko – **Hah. Yes, my teasers are designed to be cruel and heartless. And Cecilia is even more of a mind-screw this chapter.

**Authorqueen – **Stop judging me, you. Go and write some RufusXZachary. Oh – yumyumyum.

**Peanutmeg – **Thanks very much, I'm glad you approve of the characterization. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

**Catindahat – **Did the psychic connection work with this chapter as well? (where you somehow just know how to check!) Oh dear, I hope the rest of your Summer was alright and that your Autumn is much better my dear.

**IsabelEmyrs – **Well, I did update sooner(ish). Only three months this time. Next one will be sooner, I promise! Yes – So Cecilia does play quite a part in this…

**Ice Queen1 – **Haha – Illegally smuggled smartphone in the bathroom, eh? Yes – I used to sneak books into the bathroom and excuse myself during my maths lessons to go and read. :D

**Cassy27 – **Yes! Finally someone who lives Udovic! Isn't he great, so inexplicably evil. I always imagine him as Eddie Issard…Thank you for your kind words!

**SherryLynne – **A long awaited update then – this one was a little quicker. Sorry about that, and I hope you continued to enjoy.

**Darkenwood – **Wah! I am sooo sorry for the previous seven month delay, and although this one was shorter, I'm so sorry I've been so slow! Please forgive me, and I hope this chapter is worth it!

**Biota9 – **Thank you! I really hope this one is as well!

**Jammeke – **Yes – I haven't abandoned this ship yet! Merlin and Arthur forever! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Thank you all again, and without further ado I shall say –**

**Merlin belongs to the BBC, and I'm just screwing with the characters for story telling purposes.**

**Warning – Male Intimacy (No Smut. (Yet)), Evilness and Imminent Death. **

**ENJOY!**

_**A&M**_

It was odd watching Merlin tend the fire. It was odd because Arthur felt torn between the normal feelings he had always had for his manservant – the fondness of his clumsiness, and exasperation, and now the knowledge that the night previous they had held each other, had kissed and touched one another. Of course it hadn't gotten past some heavy petting, but Arthur could imagine that it would. And that was the other thing – he wanted it too. He didn't know how; and when he tried to think about bringing this home to Camelot his head spun because it seemed so impossible. Merlin had always just been Merlin, and now…Now he was Merlin. Arthur's Merlin.

The prince ran his hands through his hair, and just as he had done when he had first kissed Merlin he decided that for once in his life he was going to just take things as they came and forget planning. He'd spent his whole life routing every step, every quest and hunt, now…Now he would just see. Just let it happen.

It was oddly refreshing.

His manservant suddenly sat back, and glancing to Arthur nervously, raised his hands and with a flash of gold which glowed in his eyes, the flames grew higher on the fire and the cave instantly warmed. Arthur winced at the sight and glanced away. Merlin's magic. Now that was a whole new kettle of fish.

"Are you alright?" Merlin asked, noticing the Prince's averted eyes.

"Fine." Arthur responded, and toyed with the brace on his arm for a moment before finally looking back up to Merlin. "Merlin…" He sighed, and struggled for a moment, "Merlin…This is a little difficult for me at the moment, and I…I'm just still thinking through everything so…So for your own safety, and…for my peace of mind I forbid you to use magic in-front of me, alright?"

"Oh." Merlin blinked and then stared down to the woodland floor again, "Alright…I understand."

There was a long silence, disturbed only by the crackle of the fire, and then Merlin's hands suddenly balled into fists and he looked up to Arthur.

"Actually, no." He glared up to the blonde. "No. I don't understand. I will not stop."

"What?" Arthur asked, more amazed than angry.

"I have lived a lie for years now – have been forced all my life to hide who I was, with only a select few who could ever know my secret. So no, I won't deny it, not now you know. This is who I am Arthur – this is who I've always been and I'm not going to hide it from you anymore. You deserve the truth and you've deserved it for a long time...So if you can't accept me for what I am, then just say so now and I'll go."

It was a bold statement. Bold because although Merlin's face was set with determination Arthur could see the fear in his friend's eyes. Fear that Arthur would agree to this, would tell Merlin to go – and truth be told, it was something Arthur was capable of. He sighed.

"You're right." He agreed, "Of course your right…I'm sorry…I just have so many years of training within me to hate magic…It's difficult for me…But I trust you Merlin." He gave a soft laugh, "God…All these years with my father was persecuting others for magic…It can't have been easy for you."

"Unfortunately Arthur there are a lot of magic users who would do terrible things to Camelot if they had the chance…I've faced many, so trust me – I know." Merlin toyed with a twig in his hands, turning it over and over, "But when you do bad things with magic it corrupts you…Magic should be used for good."

"Just as the sword should be used to protect." Arthur agreed solemnly. "If my father heard any of this…"

"He has seen magic at its worst…You both have." Merlin paused, and then extending his hand he concentrated on the flames. Arthur watched as shapes and figures appeared from the embers, and the Prince felt his heart squeeze because…Because they were so beautiful. "But magic can be used for so much more than evil."

Arthur felt something warm glow within him, and he smiled. "I guess you'll have to show me that."

**~SOLACIUM~**

"Haven't you found anything!" Uther demanded furiously and Sir Leon looked to his feet, struggling with himself.

"No, Sire." He replied, his eyes trained to the ground. No matter how many times he repeated it, Uther did not hear him. Arthur had been missing an entire day now, and with Merlin also still uncovered the literal witch-hunt for him had gained more fuel through Uther's anger. To the King's left Morgana stared bitterly toward Uther, and Leon caught her eyes. He conveyed his sorrow to her through his gaze – he knew her relationship with Arthur and Merlin, and he knew that she did not hold Merlin responsible for Arthur's disappearance.

And neither did Sir Leon.

It was Udovic who had brought up the charge and this only made Sir Leon all the more uneasy. Despite his friendly alliance with Camelot, the Knight had known and fought with Arthur long enough to see that Udovic bothered the Prince, and as far as Sir Leon was considered – this was enough.

He didn't trust Udovic, and he didn't like where all of this was leading.

"Send out another search Party." Uther demanded.

"But Sire-" Sir Leon stuttered – the Knights were tired and hungry, they hadn't stopped all night.

"You will do as I say!" Uther roared, and within his eyes Sir Leon saw only the deep concern for his son. Leon had to admit that if he were a father who had such resources at his fingertips, he probably would not be so different in his approach.

A parent will do anything for their child.

"This is ridiculous." Morgana suddenly stood, "The Knights need to rest, Uther. Arthur will be fine for a few hours – though if it troubles you so much, I'll go in their stead." She stood.

"You will stay at my side!" Uther ordered, but Morgana was strong willed and Uther was weary with concern. The Lady stepped down beside Sir Leon.

"Come with me – you need to rest." She requested, and with a bow to the King he followed her.

When they were clear of the Court room, they turned off toward Gaius tower, speaking in whispers as they walked.

"We picked up a trail in the woods. I think you're right – Prince Arthur and Merlin are together." Leon informed and Morgana nodded her head.

"Can you tell me where?"

"Toward the Valley of the Kings – there are some caves in that area."

"Alright – I'll go there now."

"My Lady you can't." Sir Leon caught her arm, "It is much too dangerous."

"I'll be alright." Morgana laughed, shaking her head, "I know these woods well. Get some rest – you need it."

"…Thank you." He bowed his head, and they parted ways as she started toward the courtyard to get her horse. Sir Leon prayed she would find the Prince and his manservant before trouble did.

**~SOLACIUM~**

It was the steady sound of horses hooves which first alerted them to an approaching person, and at first Arthur and Merlin were unsure of what to do. That was before an irritable voice pierced through the silence and told them, in no uncertain terms to,

"-Get out here and talk to me, or my God are you going to regret it."

"Morgana?" They mouthed to each other, and then scurried out one after the other into the sunlight to greet her.

"Morgana!" Merlin cried happily, as Arthur trudged at a slower pace after him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked incredulously.

"It's nice to see you do." Morgana dismounted from her horse and throwing her long hair over her shoulder she approached the pair. "The whole kingdom has gone mad looking for you." She addressed Arthur, poking him hard in the chest. He winced slightly as it jarred his still healing body, but Morgana didn't seem to notice, or rather didn't seem to care.

"How is my father?" he asked, rubbing his sore spot and Morgana sighed.

"Beside himself. He thinks you've been enchanted."

"Enchanted? By who?"

"Merlin." Morgana replied, turning her gaze to the black-haired boy who blinked in adorable innocence to the heinous crime.

"Merlin!" Arthur asked, with disbelief "He thinks _Merlin_ has enchanted me?"

"I know? It's ridiculous, isn't it? That Merlin could ever be a sorcerer."

The two boys exchanged dubious glances as Morgana sneezed and then reverted back toward her as she straightened. "Bless you." Merlin added.

"Thank you. Anyway – He's after you Merlin. Udovic has told him that you performed magic, and he's got Uther wound around his little finger."

"It's not me!" Merlin cried desperately, "It's Udovic – he's the one in the wrong! It was him! He's evil!"

"I know!" Morgana replied, "I know he is…I can feel it…He's not natural."

"No." Arthur replied in a quiet, distant grumble, "He's not…"

Morgana glanced worriedly across to the blonde, and bit her bottom lip as she caught Merlin's equally worried eyes. Arthur, amidst his brooding, didn't seem to notice.

"The question is why?" The Prince suddenly spoke, and looked across to them, "Why is he doing whatever he's doing…What is he? Why is he after me?"

"Udovic is after you?" Morgana blurted, "What?"

"Oh – you don't know about that…" Merlin bit his lip, and tried to summarise the events of the last few days, or rather years. "Well, you see Udovic…He…Ur…He's been-"

"-Merlin." Arthur cut across the other with one cold, sweeping glance.

"Shutting up." Merlin all but stood to attention, training his gaze ahead to a nearby tree, face plastered with an awkward and tight smile.

"We're not sure of the details yet." Arthur responded, "But the reason for my…Sickness was that Udovic…I'm not sure, but we think he's using magic or-" He reminded himself as Merlin pulled face, his eyes darkening "-Or something as equally as powerful in equivalence…"

"And he's after you?"

"I think so, yes." Arthur nodded, and once more he avoided her gaze, discomfort burning through him. Morgana nodded her head.

"Then you can't return until I know what's happening."

"What?" Arthur's head snot up, "But-"

"-She's right Arthur, it's not safe."

"Right now Udovic has all the power he wants – Uther is following his every word. He has the entire army at his bidding and he is looking for you. You have to remain hidden. So far the Knights aren't cooperating – Sir Leon told me he thought you were here, but he purposefully avoided looking. If Udovic is specifically after you, and he is the one responsible for what happened to you, then you cannot let him get you."

"But if what Merlin say about Udovic is right then the city might be in-danger – we have to take Camelot back from him!"

"But your father wants me dead – and it's my word against Udovics, he'll never believe me!" Merlin blurted.

"He'll believe me – I'll tell him the truth!" Arthur shouted furiously.

"Uther thinks you're enchanted – he's not going to believe anything that comes out of your mouth." Morgana cut in and Arthur rammed his fist into the stone wall beside him.

"Dammit!" He cried, "Why is he such a fool…?" He felt his energy drain, "We can't do anything."

"Leave it to me." Morgana touched Arthur's arm, "I remain unsuspected – I'll find out what I can. Stay here, until I call on you."

"And what if you get caught? What if there's trouble?" Arthur asked her and she smiled to him.

"If there's trouble, and we need you…Then I'll ring the bells. Don't ask how – I'll find a way. I'll call you back Arthur. But until then…Stay where you are. Promise me!" She insisted and he gave a begrudging nod. "And you Merlin…Don't get caught, whatever happens…If Uther gets hold of you, you will die."

Merlin couldn't help but gulp, and he nodded as Morgana bit her bottom lip.

"Take care, both of you." She whispered, and turning she clambered back onto her horse and, ensuring that there was nobody around who might have followed her, she started off back toward the castle and Merlin and Arthur returned to their hiding place.

**~SOLACIUM~**

"Ah, Lord Udovic? How do you feel – you've been in your chambers all morning." Uther greeted wearily as his friend entered the room, a strange look upon his face. "There is still no progress in finding Arthur…Or the sorcerer behind this."

"Yes, I've heard." Udovic responded, and his voice was very serene. Uther looked back to him, observing the chilling, barracuda like way that the other man stared up to him, an almost grin in place.

"Udovic, what is it?" He asked, and a cold shiver raced through him as his friends mouth twitched into a wider smile.

It's becoming increasingly clear to me that the Prince has hidden himself rather too well."

"Hidden himself…?" Uther blinked slowly, confusion crossing his face, "Why would he be hiding – it is the sorcerer who-"

"-He's a stubborn boy, I know so I'm sure that no matter how hard I look for him, he can avoid me…Which is why I've resolved to stop bothering." Udovic clicked his tongue, "After all, I'm running out of time and I just don't want to have to wait another year."

"…What are you talking about?" Uther asked, standing from his throne and Udovic raised one hand and, with a twitch of his fingers, the doors at the back of the courtroom swung to a screaming close. Uther leapt for his sword and drew it.

"What are you doing!" He demanded, "What are you!" Because the Kings saw something then, something wriggling beneath Udovic's skin. Henry drew his sword and pointed it toward Uther.

"Well since everybody appears to be conspiring against me – my own _wife_ included - I thought – why don't I just actually give them a reason too. I'm taking Camelot – now let's see how quickly your little princeling runs back."

From the back of the room a great commotion could be heard through the doors, as the Knights and guards on the other side struggled to open it. Udovic glanced toward it, and Uther seized his moment and lunged.

"Who are you?" He demanded, "You are not Udovic?"  
"Yes and no – yes and no, old friend." Udovic caught the blade with his own before it had a chance to pierce him and he twirled in a deadly dance, countering with his own attack.

Uther however was not a novice with the sword and deflected the lunge, the metal of the blades crashing against each other so that a familiar rhythm began to beat throughout them. They had fought before – long ago they had trained together with the sword, but something was different now. Uther knew. He remembered what it was like to fight Udovic, he remembered how each blow had felt and although the style was similar – so much so he had not seen the difference when Udovic had fought Arthur – he could sense it now. A change of heart, a change of soul which sang through the metal. His sword smelt of iron and blood, and Uther knew then…

He knew with fatal horror that he had allowed himself to be blinded – blinded to something he had not wanted to admit. Udovic had become a different man long ago, and Uther had wanted to deny it…

Because he could not bear to lose his friend.

"Ooh Uther – the realization upon your face is almost painful." Udovic seemed to sing.

"What have you done to my son!" Uther demanded and Udovic tut-tutted and pirouetted beneath Uther's attack, aiming for a vital point.

"Don't get distracted now." He sang, and with one carefully aimed kick he doubled Uther over and, with a blow to the King's shoulder – which had always given him great trouble – he brought the man to his knees.

"Who are you!" Uther repeated with a terrible whisper as finally the doors were thrown open and the people rushed in to see their king on his knees, his neck at peril.

"You know me." Udovic responded, "But you're right in saying not as the man you thought I was. Well hello loyal servants of Camelot – welcome to my court. I am your new King." He took Uther's crown with his free hand, pressing his blade harder into Uther's neck as he did to hold him in place.

"Now…Why don't you call everybody in here…I fancy a little party."

**~SOLACIUM~**

"Uther!" Morgana cried as she was forced into the room, and she darted across to the King who was tied cruelly and painfully beside the throne, his face ashen and eyes filled with cold fury. The lady wrapped her arms around him, and as the guards came to drag her off she turned to them angrily.

"Don't you touch me!" She screamed.

Udovic laughed.

"Leave her, it's quite alright." He glanced down to Morgana with a smile. "Hello my dear, you and your surrogate father appear to have made up. That pleases me."

"Whatever you are trying to do, you won't succeed." Morgana spat. "You will be stopped."

"Yes, I rather hope so…" Udovic laughed sweetly before turning back to the door where more of the castle personnel were being forced through. They were divided up and held as hostages in different sections of the room. When Udovic had made it abundantly clear that any coups would be crushed quickly – an example of which he had demonstrated already – people had done as they were told.

It turned out that all of Udovic's servants were trained soldiers as well, and there were more than enough to ensure that everything was settled quietly and quickly – if the threat to the King did not already ensure this.

"Where's my wife?" Udovic suddenly called, "Have her brought to me – I want to see her face."

Morgana felt her stomach clench – there was something malicious in Udovic's gaze and it frightened her.

"Here I am." Cecilia appeared in the doorway, walking lightly as if she were on air, past the suffering people of Camelot.

"Ah – my Dear, you look radiant." Udovic complimented and ushered her forward. She passed Morgana and Uther without a second glance and sat at Udovic's feet, resting her head against his knee. He stroked her head. "Aren't you going to ask what I am doing, my love?"

"You're taking over Camelot." Cecilia responded, "I thought that was rather self-evident."

"How can you sit there!" Morgana cried, "How can you support him – I thought you cared about us?"

Cecilia straightened, "Oh Morgana – sweet Morgana, of course I care about you. I care more about you and Arthur than anybody in the whole world."

"Then (!) what are you doing!" Morgana screamed, "Why are you doing this?"

"Because she knows that she cannot do anything now." Udovic continued to stroke his wife's head. "She knows that everything is out of her power…You should calm down, Morgana. There's no need for any of this to be unpleasant."

"You have tied up my King and taken my home hostage – I don't think it could get any more unpleasant."

"Are you sure about that, my dear?" Udovic's eyes glinted and from behind her, Uther spoke in a gentle whisper to Morgana.

"Calm down…Don't make him angry. Please Morgana."

Morgana looked back toward him, surprised, but when she saw the unrepressed anger and hatred in his eyes she knew that it was taking him all of his power to restrain himself. He was doing it for his people and for her – if he struggled, than Camelot would suffer. Morgana settled beside him, forcing her breathing to slow. Udovic tittered. "There's a good girl. Now…How about some entertainment?"

**~SOLACIUM~**

In the end, it was bound to end up like this. The two sitting beside each other, shifting closer, their hands brushing, heads touching, cheeks skimming and – well, now they were kissing. Intimately.

They were men after all.

"Are your injuries alright?" Merlin asked, between the feel of Arthur's mouth against his own and the Prince grunted an order for the other to silence himself and continue with more important things. "Arthur, you're insatiable."

Arthur stopped and pulled back. "You started it." He accused and Merlin pulled a face.

"I didn't – you leant into me."

"You leant into me, Merlin."

"Then why was it that we fell on my side, if you didn't push me in that direction?"

"If I did, it was your fault. You enchanted me." Arthur corrected, and the next moment Merlin had scrabbled off him, his cheeks red. Arthur sat up,

"How could you say that?" He demanded, "How could you even think that?"

"It was a joke, Merlin." Arthur grumbled, already missing the warmth that the other provided. His worry made him vindictive, and he had always been a physical man – movement, tension, physical exertion helped him clear his mind…

And Merlin had looked rather pretty in the firelight, his face all lit up, eyes bright, that stupid, sweet smile on his face.

Merlin seemed to understand, because despite the offense, he crawled back to Arthur and allowed himself to be pulled back into an embrace, the pair falling back.

"I don't know what to do…" Arthur breathed.

"About what?"

"About anything…" The Prince admitted softly, "About you…About your magic…About Camelot and Udovic…I feel, so lost."

"You're not lost Arthur." Merlin pressed his forehead to the Princes, "You just…Need some time. It'll come to you, it always does. And we'll do it together – the same as always."

"But it's not the same as always." Arthur breathed, and when Merlin looked at him quizzically, Arthur buckled his hips up slightly to remind Merlin that they were entwined together, that the manservant's hands had inadvertently snuggled under Arthur's shirt, and that Arthur's own fingers were tangled into his manservant's hair. "This has definitely changed."

"…Change can be good." Merlin tried to sound hopeful, and Arthur could hear how much Merlin wanted to hear those words. After all, Merlin was as lost in the matter as Arthur was.

They were master and servant for God's sake, and they were both men…Whilst it wasn't unheard of, and Arthur was now fully aware of how it would work…Even though his body understood, and his body made it clear that it was happy, Arthur himself felt very left behind. His mind couldn't catch up with the idea, he couldn't quite figure it all out.

All he knew was that he cared for Merlin as he had always done.

There. That was it. It came to Arthur like a spark – how could something so simple have taken so long?

What did it matter what he called it? What did it matter that sometimes he would kiss his servant, maybe even ask him to bed…

It didn't change anything – he had cared for Merlin already for so long. True, now he understood it better, now it made sense and he didn't feel like he had to rationalise it…

But it was still the same. Even though it had a name now, it was still the same.

Merlin was still Merlin.

"What?" Merlin breathed, and Arthur just smiled at him. The reaction caused Merlin to smile back – sweetly because he had no idea what he was smiling about, he was just smiling because Arthur was and it apparently made him happy.

"You're right." Arthur said, "It was me who started the kiss. And I'm not ashamed of it."

Merlin's ears went pink. "You're such a spoilt brat." He murmured, and allowed himself to pulled back into a deeper kiss.

"Shut up Merlin." Arthur pulled his manservant harder against him. Merlin gladly did as he was told.

**~SOLACIUM~**

"I have to go to the bathroom." Morgana announced, her face poised with anger. Udovic glanced toward her, "What's that? Do you have some objection to it my Lord?" She pressed and he raised his eyebrows.

"The Bathroom?" He repeated, "To relieve yourself, I take it?"

"I suppose if you want to clarify it, yes – to relieve myself. I went riding earlier and then I was brought straight here. So if you don't mind – I'd like to go."

"I see." Udovic looked out the court room, "Is there anybody else who would 'like to go to the bathroom', Hm?" He asked, and from across the floor Morgana stared to Gwen with purpose. She raised her hand and stood.

"I would." She said.

"Ah – little Gwen, pretty as a picture. Loyal servant to Morgana. Do you two often go together?"

"I need to go, my Lord." Gwen responded, and Udovic whistled faintly, looking to the decorated ceiling above him.

"Hm…Should I let you go, or not? What a question – what do you say, my Love?" He glanced down to Cecilia who looked back up to him.

"I shall accompany them, if you wish." She offered, "And bring them back."

"Ah – the solution. Yes. Otherwise I'd be called a pervert, and who knows what trouble would be caused if I left the room for even a moment. Alright then, my dove – go Morgana, little Gwen, my wife will accompany you."

Cecilia stood gracefully and crossed toward Morgana. She waited for the other to stand and then they travelled down to where Gwen was waiting. Cecilia silently led the way as they exited the courtroom, and only when they were a safe distance did she stop.

"…Morgana, whatever you are planning to do…You do not have much time."

"What?" Morgana faltered, "I'm just going to the bathroom."

"You are sending a signal to Arthur…" Cecilia turned back, "He is the only hope that Camelot has, and it is exactly what Udovic wants."

"…" Morgana stared to her, feeling her heart hammering in her throat – what did Cecilia mean, and what did she want? Whose side was she on?

"Morgana…It is difficult to explain. There are many things at play here, destinies which are colliding…My own included. Listen to me – whatever happens tonight, you must understand that your only choice was to contact Arthur. I do not know what Udovic will do when you have – I am blind to that. But he wants Arthur to return…Which is why you must warn Arthur of this."

"I don't understand." Gwen spoke, "Who are you? Why are you telling us this?"

"Because I don't want any more people to die." Cecilia replied, "And I don't want any more people to suffer…I did something I should not have, long ago…And for it, many have been affected. Listen to me Morgana, Guinevere – tomorrow at ten O'clock, when darkness has fallen, he will be at his most vulnerable…But the moment the clock reaches its last chime, his powers will be even more terrible. The only chance you have to defeat him is to pierce his heart with an enchanted blade…But he will be well guarded, and if there is any delay…That Camelot will be lost…Not perhaps so that you know straight away…But you will lose your Prince, and gain a terrible King."

"What are you talking about?" Morgana breathed.

"Listen to me – You know where Arthur is. Both of you must go and escape – if you do not, then you may well die. Go – get out while you can!"

"Wait!" Morgana seized Cecilia's hands, "What about you?"

"I will face what I face." Cecilia smiled. "Go to Arthur."

"Wait – listen to me. The signal, the signal to call Arthur – it's the warning bells. Alright? Listen to me…You must ring them, tomorrow – if you need us – ring them."

"Thank you Morgana…But I don't think I will need them." Cecilia smiled. Morgana opened her mouth to speak, but from behind Cecilia a shadow suddenly appeared. Two of Udovic's guards stared to them and Cecilia looked around to them.

"Morgana, Gwen…" She breathed, "Run."

And they did just that, throwing themselves forward. The guards immediately chased after, but the girls had the advantage of knowing the castle-grounds better. They sped through the servant's passages, and it was only when Morgana looked back to see how far her pursuers where that she saw that Cecilia was not behind them.

"They've got her!"

"Morgana – we don't have time!" Gwen pressed and they sped out into the courtward, one after the other toward the village. Morgana drew to a halt.

"Go Gwen!" She pressed, "I'll cause a distraction."

"Morgana I can't-"

"-The caves around the Valley of the Fallen Kings – go there. That's where Arthur is. Tell him everything! Please! Hurry!"

"I can't leave you!"

"Gwen – Arthur can't take this city back alone! We have to help him and this all we can do…"

Gwen stared to her mistress in horror, and then with a nod of her head she turned and fled as Morgana threw herself back into the passage way, and crashing into one of the guards she seized his sword and brandished it. "Come on!" She shrieked, "Come and get me!"

**~SOLACIUM~**

"Well, well, well – I really shouldn't be surprised. And I'm not." Udovic chuckled to himself as Morgana and Cecilia were forced to kneel before Udovic's feet. "Where is the other girl?"

"She escaped, my Lord."

"Ah…No doubt with valuable information on my head…Tsk, tsk – Arthur will now know my weakness." He stared down to the pair. "Just as I expected, Lady Morgana, you are very bold. Just like your father. But I won't kill you…Not yet. I have other plans for you, people I would like to marry you off too. A strong spirit can always be broken."

"Go to hell." Morgana spat, and Udovic lunged forward and, without anger, struck her hard across the face. She toppled to one side and Sir Leon, who was closest, leapt forward and caught her before her head struck the ground.

"Morgana!" Uther shouted, "Do not lay a hand on her!" He commanded Udovic but the other merely smiled and clapped his hands of imaginary dirt. Sir Leon helped Morgana up, and she thanked him shakily, her voice quivering with rage.

"Get me my sword." He ordered, and one of the guard brought it to him. Udovic stood, and with a sharp kick he forced Cecilia onto her back and loomed above her. Morgana tensed.

"No." She breathed as husband and wife gazed to each other. "You wouldn't…"

"Cecilia, what did you tell little Gwen?"

"I told her to tell Arthur how to kill you." She said sweetly, "And I told her exactly when to do it."

"Ah – how brutal. I always loved that about you…So you have sold out my secret."

"Yes." Cecilia's face did not change, she looked so peaceful – as if she were having a normal conversation.

"It's a pity." Udovic sighed, "I always knew you would eventually turn traitor, beloved wife of mine!" Udovic cackled, raising his sword toward Cecilia's breast. She looked up to him with all the loving adoration in the world.

"I could never betray my beloved husband." She responded and Udovic shrugged and pulled the sword back, Morgana lunging forward against Sir Leon's hold.

"NO!" She screamed, and the blade descended with a crescendo of blood. "**No!**" Morgana shrieked, **"NO! Cecilia! Cecilia! You monster – no!"** A jolt like lightening past through her and Sir Leon let her go with a cry of pain as it burnt his hands. Morgana lunged toward the woman and cradled her in her arms, sobbing as the blood seemed across the once magnificent wooden floor. Cecilia gazed up to Morgana with a haunting smile.

"Oh Morgana…" She whispered, "You grew up to be so beautiful…Such a beautiful girl. Such a beautiful, powerful girl…I am so proud of you…"

"Shh – don't talk. You're going to be alright. – Please, Gaius – help her!" Morgana begged the physician who started toward the woman, his face ashen.

"Nobody moves." Udovic ordered calmly and the physician was stopped in his tracks by two guard. Morgana screamed in fury and bent over Cecilia once more.

"She's your wife! She's your wife!" She cried.

"I found something prettier to play with." Udovic responded shortly, "And regardless of whether he knows how to kill me or not…He will come here, and I will have him."

"Morgana…" Cecilia whispered into her ear, "I am happy…"

"No…" Morgana breathed, "Don't…Don't go…"

"Such a beautiful girl…Such a beautiful woman…" Cecilia's eyes faded, "I love you Morgana…you and Arthur…I am so proud…" Her voice died out, and she was gone.

Morgana raised her head to the sky and screamed.

**~SOLACIUM~**

**And that's all folks – But as always, a taster for the next instalment –**

_Gwen stumbled back, disorientated, her heart thundering in her ears as the woods around her came alive with howls and movement. A hand leapt out from the darkness and seized her arm, and with a scream she turned and struck out to the person who grabbed her other shoulder._

"_Guinevere! Gwen, it's me!"_

_Gwen froze, "Lancelot?"_

_**A&M**_

"_Why didn't you ring the bells!" Arthur demanded._

"_Because that's what Udovic wants – I don't understand it Arthur, but you only have one chance at this. One chance or everything is lost!"_

_**A&M**_

"_Merlin, are you alright?" Lancelot seized the warlock's arm as he wavered dangerously, Arthur steadying him from behind._

"_He's too strong…-It's…too strong."_

"_Merlin – Merlin!" Arthur cried, as the black-haired boy's legs gave way._

_**A&M**_

"_How can we get defeat him if we can't even get close to him?"_

"_We have to use Magic…" Merlin breathed, "It's our only hope."_

"_If you use magic you'll be killed, Merlin!"_

_**A&M**_

"_If you kill him, it'll be over my dead body." Morgana hissed and Udovic clucked his tongue._

"_That can be arranged."_

_**A&M**_

"_I'm not doing this because it's my duty Arthur, I'm doing it because I love you." Merlin shook the Prince's shoulders, "So I don't care what you have to say on the matter – nothing you can do will stop me!"_

"_You will die Merlin!"_

"_And you will be a great King."_

_**A&M**_


End file.
